Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-08-2009, 09:10 AM   #1
Liddle1
Registered Users
Formerly: tummy mommy
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 5,602
Unhappy I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

nak...

after all my insisting that i would not do cio, I did this morning. I'm so sleep deprived that I'm literally hearing things. ds is 6 months old. the first 2 months were rough of course. then he slept ok for a month and ever since then has been getting up more and more frequently.

the last 2 nights were pretty much nonstop clusterfeeding all night. he would fall asleep or i would and a few minutes later he'd be looking for the breast again. latch on, fall asleep etc.

last night was the worst. it took me an hour to nurse him to sleep, put him in his crib at 10:30 finally (he never sleeps before 10!!). I went to bed at 12, he was up when my head hit the pillow. Between 12 and 3 he was up 5 times, I just kept him in bed with me. I put him in his crib at 3 because he kept getting woken up by me moving and he slept til 5. After that he decided he wanted to be awake. He bit me when I tried to nurse him so I took him off. He started talking and rolling around so I put him on his tummy and rubbed his back. I would almost get him out and he'd wake himself up.

I asked dh to change his diaper, then tried nursing again. wasn't happening. I was so tired and getting mad because i was frustrated and tired so I put him in his crib with a soother. He was fine for a few minutes then started fussing. got up, nursed him, got him to sleep. as soon as he touched the crib mattress he started wailing. picked him up, as soon as he latched on he fell asleep right away. tried again to put him down, wailing started again.

he was so tired but wouldn't sleep. I tried again on his tummy rubbing his back, he just cried and complained for 15 minutes. turned him over, gave him a soother, and left the room. he was fine for about 5 minutes, the the wailing started again.

dh had left for work and i was so tired. i was afraid i would shake him because i was in tears. he had a clean diaper, was fed and not hungry, just tired, and he was safe in there. i left him hoping he would only cry for a little while and go to sleep. nope. after 30 minutes I finally called dh cell. I held the phone to the screaming child and said "do you hear this? this has been going on for almost an hour! don't you EVER tell me to let him cry ever again! the next time you want to help with parenting maybe you can take a night shift instead of just telling me to let him cry!!".

I picked him up and he was fine. of course i feel like poo because i gave in when i knew better than to do cio. i'm sure he won't remember this and is ok but im afraid i let him down.

but I don't know what to do at this point. here is our schedule, any advice??

9am - wake up for the day
change dipe, I shower while he goes in his jumper, play, feed him
10:30 - he usually goes down for a nap
11 to 11:30 he wakes up, feed, change, play while trying to do other stuff
2pm - feed, he goes down for another nap
2:30 to 3 - he wakes up, feed, change, play
6pm - dinner - he gets 2 tbs rice cereal with 1 tbs fruit, although yesterday he wanted more so i gave him another 2tbs solids and he polished off 1.5 baby num nums. will have to increase his intake of solids i think
7pm breastfeed
8:30 - 4oz formula with 1 tbs rice cereal (otherwise he clusterfeeds all evening)
9 breastfeed until he falls asleep, sometimes isn't till 11 or later
all night he's up every 1 to 2 hours

if i cut out his nap or wake him after 30 minutes he's miserable for the whole day. i don't know why he's waking up so much. he can't be hungry. if he eats it's only for 10 minutes.


Advertisement


Last edited by Liddle1; 04-08-2009 at 09:13 AM.
Liddle1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 09:27 AM   #2
greek4's Avatar
greek4
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 3,408
My Mood:
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

You did the right thing. We do CIO on a mild scale and sometimes DS just needs to be left alone to cry a few minutes and go to sleep. Sounds like your LO needs to learn to sooth himself to sleep. I know there are some no cry methods out there too that you can try if you don't want to do CIO.
__________________
Emily....Proud wife of Drew, mother to Kole (8/07), Chase (7/09), Ansley (4/11), and Avery and Camden (10/13)
greek4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 09:31 AM   #3
MCR's Avatar
MCR
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 10,642
My Mood:
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

Awww don't feel bad, he was safe and survived. I hate when they go through that wake up every hour thing.
I wouldn't shorten nap time, infact I may add another nap, he doesn't sound like he's getting enough sleep. 10.30 to be and up at 9am plus 2 30 to 60 min naps.
Do you have a baby swing, I'd knock him out in that if I had too, I've been known to put a 6mth old in the swing at 4am and sleep on the couch nearby, Hey it worked. Of course he grizzled and whined when he new it was going to put him to sleep and he fought sleep for a good 10 minutes, but it worked.
__________________
Mum to and and Wife to SHOP MR REBATES
MCR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 09:33 AM   #4
Nanner99's Avatar
Nanner99
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,549
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

Sounds exactly like me when I had dd. She was SO tired but only slept attached to my booby (this was for naps too) and even then, it was a restless sleep. I tried CIO a couple times and I felt SO bad about it. I tried the No Cry Sleep Solution, read Ferber and some other sleep training books, tried doing a modified version... in short, it was tough. And I hate to say it, but it did not get *better* until she was around 2, but even then it was tough. I think i finally got a descent (read: not uninterrupted, but good enough) when she was close to 3 and I told her no more nursing at night (I tried before this to night wean, but she would get so upset. She went from high needs to manageable to a good kid after she started sleeping. I went from frazzled to the max, yelling at her toddler antics and in tears, to a stable, kinda normal person.

I started both my boys off going to bed by themselves and did modified CIO. They both sleep well and are not neglected. If they cry at night, they get immediate attention b/c they simply do not cry unless they are cold, sick, or something. My 19 mos old wakes up at night a lot when he has a cold and sometimes just for me to go give him a quick hug and his paci back- and I do, no CIO. But, he is comfortable going to sleep w/out me so it is not an issue like it was with dd.

I always say do whatever works- but it is amazing to know you can put your baby down and know they will stay there for awhile and they are HAPPY! And you can be a good mom when they are awake. as I never want to be at that place again- it is SO SO hard and I still remember it vividly, 8 yrs later!

Oh yeah, one thing I did to survive and to give dd a good nap was that I would take her for a car ride and then sit in the car while she slept.
__________________
Sara Wife to Bret , Mom to Kodi 9-10-00 , Owen 4-21-06 , Luke 8-21-07 , and our miracle baby, June 8-4-09
I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar...

Last edited by Nanner99; 04-08-2009 at 09:45 AM.
Nanner99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 09:35 AM   #5
Liddle1
Registered Users
Formerly: tummy mommy
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 5,602
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

we have a swing but can't use it. he can sit himself up and lean forward in it.

he sometimes has another nap at 4:30 but it's sporadic. i basically just nurse on demand and let him sleep when he wants and this is the schedule he's put himself on.

I think he needs to learn to fall asleep without nursing. nothing seems to work though. rocking, walking, bouncing, singing, tried it all.
Liddle1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 09:44 AM   #6
MacMama's Avatar
MacMama
Registered Users
Formerly: PaisleyandLaylasmommy
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Portland
Posts: 3,324
My Mood:
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

I agree about another nap-- it seems backwards, but night-time sleep is often worse when they don't get enough sleep during the day. Going from 2:30 to 10:00 without sleeping seems like an awfully long time...maybe he's getting overstimulated and can't calm himself down to sleep?
Also, if you're that exhausted and what you're doing isn't working, what about co-sleeping (or using a bed-side sleeper)? At least then you wouldn't have to get out of bed so many times, and if he needs to fall asleep nursing at least you can be lying down. It might help you get your sanity back.

ETA: Have you tried putting him down after the 7:00 or 8:30 nursing? Maybe he'd sleep better if you moved his bedtime up by a few hours.
__________________
Heather; wife to my love Jacob, lucky mama of Layla (9), Paisley (7), Thatcher (almost 5) and my nursling, Koa (9/4/12). Creator of Hand-stamped jewelry, custom teething necklaces and accessories by Avery Rayne Designs

Last edited by MacMama; 04-08-2009 at 09:46 AM.
MacMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 10:43 AM   #7
S Starr's Avatar
S Starr
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 3,312
My Mood:
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tummy mommy View Post
9am - wake up for the day
change dipe, I shower while he goes in his jumper, play, feed him
10:30 - he usually goes down for a nap
11 to 11:30 he wakes up, feed, change, play while trying to do other stuff
2pm - feed, he goes down for another nap
2:30 to 3 - he wakes up, feed, change, play
6pm - dinner - he gets 2 tbs rice cereal with 1 tbs fruit, although yesterday he wanted more so i gave him another 2tbs solids and he polished off 1.5 baby num nums. will have to increase his intake of solids i think
7pm breastfeed
8:30 - 4oz formula with 1 tbs rice cereal (otherwise he clusterfeeds all evening)
9 breastfeed until he falls asleep, sometimes isn't till 11 or later
all night he's up every 1 to 2 hours

if i cut out his nap or wake him after 30 minutes he's miserable for the whole day. i don't know why he's waking up so much. he can't be hungry. if he eats it's only for 10 minutes.

Don't cut out the nap, and don't wake him up! Try for a *longer* nap instead. A nap should be at *least* 45 minutes, and 90-120 would not be unreasonable at that hour. Seriously, your LO might be overtired, which makes it hard for him to sleep. (Think about when you've stayed up till 2 to finish a big project.) I think you might be waiting a little too long before trying to put him to bed, other than in the morning. I would aim for this instead:

8am up
9:30 start nap routine (nursing, whatever) -- expect sleep from 10-11, say
12:30 or 1:00 start nap routine
4:30 or 5:00 maybe a very brief nap
8pm down

Look for drowsy -- not overtired -- signs. The Baby Whisperer book has a good list. Some of them: when the baby starts to look a little vacant or stops playing.

And instead of CIO, what I would work on is being able to take him off the breast quicker at night. DD2 would love to nurse and nap from 7 to 10 or 11, but unless I'm feeling lazy, I keep her awake long enough to get a good feeding (rubbing her cheek etc), and then detach her and *jiggle* her. She'll wail a bit, since she wants to use me as a pacifier, but about half the time five minutes of jiggling her up on my shoulder puts her to sleep. And then I carry her up to her bed. This typically wakes her again, so I leave my hands on her and jiggle-jiggle-jiggle for another five minutes. Again, right now maybe half the time she fusses and wakes too fully -- but the other half, she goes to sleep!

Once your son goes to sleep, you take 30-60 minutes to do what must be done, and then you go to bed too, no matter how early it feels. <g>

Ideally I want to put my daughter down drowsy but awake. I trained my other daughter this way at around 7 months, letting her wail from boredom or yell in anger but not cry from heartbreak, and people who only knew her after 10 months or so say how lucky we are that she liked her crib and could put herself back to sleep. Ha! We trained her to be that way because I couldn't handle the 45 minutes to put her back to sleep *every* time she woke up! But right now I don't have the energy and patience to train DD2....

Hope something here helps!

ETA: Six-month increased wakings could be related to teething. With DD2, we didn't feel the tooth coming in and she didn't mind us rubbing her gum, but she had a few miserable nights and then pop! first tooth! You could give Tylenol a try.
__________________
Mama to E 3/06 and M 7/08

Last edited by S Starr; 04-08-2009 at 10:46 AM.
S Starr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 10:51 AM   #8
abbycadabby
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: NC
Posts: 2,881
My Mood:
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

My advice is to cut out one of his naps. Cutting out one nap will (hopefully) help him to nap longer during the other nap, then Mommy can nap too. 1-1.5 hours for a nap is not quite long enough, I wouldn't think.

Honestly, I'd seek a lactation consultant. Night-waking to nurse is completely normal in BF babies, but it generally slows down to every 3-4 hours (usually greater) at night by 3-4 months. Every 1-2 hours, at his age, is not typical. I don't think it's great cause for concern, but an LC could help you with that. Perhaps he's not getting enough hindmilk, perhaps not enough milk in general.
abbycadabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 10:54 AM   #9
kitty1163's Avatar
kitty1163
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,626
My Mood:
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by S Starr View Post
Don't cut out the nap, and don't wake him up! Try for a *longer* nap instead. A nap should be at *least* 45 minutes, and 90-120 would not be unreasonable at that hour. Seriously, your LO might be overtired, which makes it hard for him to sleep. (Think about when you've stayed up till 2 to finish a big project.) I think you might be waiting a little too long before trying to put him to bed, other than in the morning. I would aim for this instead:
I just wanted to say that I feel for you and agree with this PP.
__________________
Katy ~ now a mom of 3!
kitty1163 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2009, 11:04 AM   #10
isaacsmum's Avatar
isaacsmum
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 1,054
Re: I don't know what to do. I let him cry :(

I know PPs have given some great suggestions, but I wanted to add that my son in 7 months, and last week we had several nights in a row just as you described - DS needed to nurse all night, was up probably every hour, and was ready to be awake and play around 3am. He's never been a great sleeper, but this was unbearable!

After a week of this behavior, on Friday he started pushing up to a crawling position. Saturday he began rolling like crazy both ways around our living room. On Sunday, he got his first tooth. His sleep schedule is now back to 'normal' in that he takes a few short naps during the day, and wakes 2 or 3 times at night to nurse briefly.

I hope that some of the suggestions given work and that you can get some rest! But at the very least, this may just be a developmental spurt, and will pass soon on its own!
isaacsmum is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.