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Old 04-09-2009, 12:25 PM   #1
MamaMaeve
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I always thought I only wanted one...

I just had my first child, and less than a month later my dear partner says to me, "in a few years lets try for a boy," and my response was, "yes!" I've found myself thinking more andmore how much I'd love to have a big family, and I just found this website, so I figured I would post a question -

What made you decide to have a big family?

In curiosity,
Maeve

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Old 04-09-2009, 02:24 PM   #2
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

For me I just know this is what is right for us. The though of choosing not to have more children goes against what I feel is right for me. As we have had more children and welcomed more souls into our family they just fit so perfectly. We LOVE and CHERISH each one and they are such a blessing to us and each other. I wish I could give you something more concrete, but for us we just* know*.
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Old 04-09-2009, 04:31 PM   #3
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

We have 4 now. DH always wanted 12 and I thought more like 6. Anyway the baby is now 20 months old and I gave our new for this baby extra nice swing to a friend and he was upset. "What will we use for the next one?" I saw a very sweet bassinet last week and showed him, he is really ready for more!
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Old 04-09-2009, 07:13 PM   #4
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My mother came from a family of nine kids and all my life I grew up hearing the crazy stories those kids did. One of my aunts is only 5 years older than me and we are still more like sisters than aunt and niece! I loved that and I always knew I wanted a large family...until I had two kids. Then I was happy and content. Then "disaster" struck. I got pregnent unexpectedly. I still remember those awful nine monhts. I was angry at myself, with my dh, with God with everyone who wished me well! I was even in labor saying "I can't have three, I can't have three!" He turned out to be perfect, easy, sweet, in short, a complete blessing! I thank God everyday for knowing more about me than I did! We had another boy 4 months ago, and I have to say, having four is great! I am happy with our life, but (don't tell dh) I think I still want more! I think it's true what my Mom always said "The more you love the more you are able to love."
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Old 04-10-2009, 08:58 AM   #5
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

Wow...12 kids! 9 kids! That's amazing to me. I'm an only child, of an only child. I've always loved this, having such a small family with other adopted family members/dear friends. I always felt like having lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings felt like WORK. But, somehow thinking of myself as a mom - as the matriarch - I feel different. Are you all staying home with your kids? I think I might be in a somewhat different situation...I'm a professor, and my partner is being a stay at home dad for now and plans to slowly go back to school to be an architect, one or two classes at a time for now. We're also thinking of homeschooling, with the help of my mom. My mom worked for non-profits my whole life and took me with her all the time, and I'm very lucky to have the flexibility to do that too (of course, as long as the kids aren't disruptive - probably easier with 1!). Our plan is to buy a small farm in 5 years or so, and along with the goats, that seems to go along with a bunch of kids.
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Old 04-10-2009, 12:29 PM   #6
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

We have 4 boys and we consider it a big family. We are loving every minute of it but at the same time we know we are now done. We had 3 right in a row - 19-20 months between each. We thought we were done but to me it just didn't feel right. Im not sure what else to say just that I didn't feel complete yet! When Andrew (my 3rd son) was 2 I started bugging dh to have another. He finally agreed a little over 9 months later Zach was born. Once he was born we knew we were done. It just felt right and complete. Good luck in deciding if having more children is for your family. In my opinion you will just know.
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Old 04-10-2009, 12:45 PM   #7
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

Growing up, I always thought I wanted about 4 kids. Things were great for about 4 years when the urge to have another struck. We have 6 now and just feel done. Although we take precautions now to prevent any further pregnancies, we haven't done anything permanent yet. You just never "really" know...
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Old 04-12-2009, 07:07 PM   #8
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

I am now pregnant with #6, and I do not know when we will feel "done". I never really planned it that way. I always thought I would do the 'typical' American thing, you know, have a couple of kids, and go back to work while sending them to daycare. Then, when I actually had children, all that changed. I feel that I brought them in this world, and it is MY responsibilty to raise them, not a daycare or someone else. After being home with them, and caring for them, we just wanted more. We do not use any birth control, and just have our children on God's time, not our time. Who knows, someday we may decide to be done, but for now we are pleased with life as it is. And, yes, we homeschool. My oldest is in 3rd grade, and I just pulled her out this year. It is actually easier for me now that we are homeschooling as opposed to going back and forth to her school and worrying about homework.
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Old 04-27-2009, 12:48 PM   #9
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

OH my gosh, I hear you! I never wanted ANY kids growing up because I always had to take care of my young cousins living with my mom when I was a teen. Fast forward, and I had my first baby. I was hooked! Now I have 5, lol!!
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Old 05-15-2009, 09:48 PM   #10
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Re: I always thought I only wanted one...

I also never thought I wanted children. Then I got pregnant with dd1 when I was just barely 19 and had only been with my then boyfriend for 3 months. We both said that having a baby together was no reason to get married, so we would just wait and see how things went, and how we both felt about our relationship. Well after she was born we decided to get married, and ended up pregnant with ds1 when dd1 was only 6 months old. We got married and both knew for sure we wanted at least one more baby. Dd2 is 2 1/2 years younger than ds1. She was a more difficult baby, so we both knew we needed to wait to decide if we were finished or not until things calmed down in our house. When she was almost one, we had a pregnancy scare (at that time it was a scary thing), which turned out I was just really late for some reason. Then I knew I was ready for another. We got pregnant as soon as we started trying, but lost that baby almost right away, and then two months later got pregnant with ds2, so he is 23 months younger than dd2.
Now dh is feeling like he is DONE, but I'm not so sure. There are days I feel like I'm going crazy with all of them being so young, but it gets easier every day, and I just don't feel complete yet. I'm afraid I'm going over to the dark side (lol!) and almost at the point to leave it to God to decide, but I think dh would leave me if I told him that. I just feel like doing something permanent is wrong, even if we aren't trying or planning for anymore children.
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