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Old 05-19-2006, 06:55 AM   #1
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Exclamation Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

OK, ladies, SPAM me with everything I need to know!

What do I need or not need equipment wise?

How do you handle things like co-sleeping and babywearing with TWO? (Breastfeeding I'm not too worried about, since I tandem nursed, I've had a little practice with two! LMBO)

What books did you find helpful? (Serious bookworm here, I need to go book shopping!!! LOL)

Best websites?

Everything else I need to know but have no idea that I need to know?

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Old 05-19-2006, 07:26 AM   #2
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

I think you'll really want a good double stroller. and a baby carrier or 2. I liked useing 2 swings when my twins were little. I often slinged one, put the other in a single or unbrella stroller when out. - but I didn't have additional kids.. When I added my youngest, I wore one almost constantly and put the other 2 in a stroller or in the case of grocery or other shopping - one in each cart, one on my back (LOVE a mei tai for back carrying!!!)

If someone offers to help - LET THEM!! the offers dry up right about the time you need help the most.

If you can freeze like 6 months of meals..lol.. it makes life easier..

I only had one of most gadgets, since our house is small and we rotated use - 1 swing, 1 bouncer, 1 saucer, 1 walker. My mom had 2 walkers and the loved chasing eachother in her house with them when they were about 9 months...I know there are mixed feelings on walkers.. but she really liked them, she watched the kids while I worked...

Also - they shared a basinet/cradle for the first 4 months. If one wasn't sleeping with me.. I kept it right next to the bed. DH was too paranoid of rolling over onto them to let them regularly cosleep..

At around 6 months they each got their own crib - when they became more restless sleepers. They share a room.

I wish you luck!! Email me if you have any other questions!!
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Old 05-19-2006, 07:38 AM   #3
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

Well, there are a ton of books. Most of them weren't that helpful to me. I found out that you don't need any particular qualifications to write a book about twins. Many of them contain misinformation or just non-fact based opinions. All of the books are likely to have chapters about bedrest, preemies and NICU, and twin loss, so you have to sort of steel yourself for them. I worried needlessly about these things and it really affected my mindset during pregnancy. I brought home my almost full-term healthy weight twins 2 days after birth, even though there was one placenta and potential problems there. Your chances of a "normal" pregnancy and birth are VERY high.

I'll give you the names of one I liked and one I didn't.

I liked Barbara Luke's book. It's based on a study on women pregnant with multiples in a Michigan program, and her findings are backed up by research. She does recommend eating more red meat than many people are comfortable with, but other than that .

I would not recommend Elizabeth Noble's book, Having Twins and More. This book should come with a warning or something. I just didn't find it sensitive at all to the concerns of a mom pregnant with twins. I bawled my eyes out when I read this book. She goes on and on about psychological issues of people who have lost a twin sibling or lost a twin. It is interesting, but it's the sort of book I would like to read when NOT pg with twins, KWIM?

Bouncer chairs are indispensible with twins, even if you didn't use one with your singletons, I would recommend getting two of them.

A lightweight, collapsible twin stroller, such as the Combi Twin Savvy (we have that one) or the Maclaren Twin Traveller. We can fit us, the twins, the stroller and a week of groceries in our Camry with room to spare. And contrary to the "urban twin myth" (there are a lot of these "myths") they DO fit through doorways.

If you use infant carseats, one of those snap n'go strollers is useful. We just used the convertible carseats from the beginning, though I'm not sure I would recommend doing that.

Other than that there really isn't anything you need extra IMO. It's just two babies born on the same day, really. The newborn phase is hard but breastfeeding helps a lot with that. The hardest thing to get used to is that you cannot always tend to both of their need when those needs arise, as with a singleton newborn, so it's helpful to have someone else around for the first couple weeks. Good luck to you and I'm sure you'll do GREAT!
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Old 05-19-2006, 07:40 AM   #4
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

books:

when you're expecting twin, triplets or quads by barbara luke. this is a must have. lots of info about nutrition and weight gain. as in gain lots of weight early so the babies have a better chance if they are born early.

mothering multiples by ? i don't know. its a la leache league book. i think this is one you should check out at the library first and then see if you want to own it. i didn't care for it when i was pg, but i have been going back to it now that i have my babies. focuses on breastfeeding and family life.

heathy sleep habits, happy child by marc wiessbluth. you may not find this as helpful as i did because these aren't your first, but it was a god send for me!

website:

hand's down twinstuff, especially the breastfeeding forum!! i cannot emphasize enough how much you should visit!

http://forums.twinstore.com/groupee/...m/f/7036019345

there is also an expecting, a NICU babies (if you need it), and a first year forum that are good, in addition to the MANY other forums on this site. go there!

equipment:

i found 2 bouncy seats helpful. you might want to go with only one swing, and if you find yourself wishing you had 2, you can send one of the people who are dying to help you to the store to get another.

and speaking of helpful people-- we found it incredible helpful to have people bring us food. we didn't have to cook for weeks! it was wonderful. and a word of caution- people (dr/midwife/nurses) are going to ask you all the time if you are going to have help. i knew i didn't want anyone staying at my house, but i began to doubt myself and allowed my mil to come right after the boys were born, and spent the first 10 days of our life at home together resenting her and wishing to god that i had just listened to myself! know yourself.

ok, back to equipment. a play gym is nice, but you only need one, they can share. a good double stroller. we recently got 2 individual umbrella strollers that we are finding incredibly useful. a lot of babies can share a crib in the beginning, but mine never could, one is too grabby on the other's face. they did share a bassinett for a few weeks though, but after that they moved to their own. that is when they weren't in bed with us.

co-sleeping- we did this when they were newborns, but they soon needed their own space, and we needed ours. a bed can get pretty crowded with 2 babies and 2 adults! and we have a king bed.

i only wear one at a time, and honestly i don't do it very often.

that's all ive got right now. they are up from nap.

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Old 05-19-2006, 08:07 AM   #5
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

The La Leche Book, Mothering Multiples, is by Karen Gromada. I would recommend giving it a read, as well as getting a twin breastfeeding pillow. It is hard to bf 2 newborns at the same and I never got good at it until they were about 3 months. Before that it was just ouchy for me, but I had never breastfed before, either. We also co-slept for a few weeks, with one of them on each of our chests, but sleep deprivation began to add up and Mark rolled over and dropped Ryan on the floor, so that was the end of that. We pushed the bed against the wall and had one of them on each side of me, but that didn't last long either . They moved to their own cribs at about 4 months.

Twinstuff is a GREAT community, but I have heard there is a forum for multiples on MDC which is maybe more appropriate for the AP approach. I don't know firsthand, though.
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Old 05-19-2006, 08:17 AM   #6
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

Thanks so much, mommas! It's so reassuring to know there's people here I can bug with questions when I need to!

I think the only items I'll really need to buy are carseats (we needed one anyway, now we just need two...LOL) as I already have a small swing, some carriers, a "donut" playring, playgym, and a cradle too. So that's good.

Oh, and more diapers.

Thanks for the book reviews, too! I'll definitely check out the Barbara Luke book, since it's gotten a few positive reviews here....I was looking at the Elizabeth Noble one, I think you just saved me money! LOL

One good thing is that I have younger sisters who are twins, and my mom breastfed them...so I should have some knowledgable hands-on help, TG!
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Old 05-19-2006, 11:39 AM   #7
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

I dont have twins but I have a close friend that does, she had 2 older boys, and than her twins (g/b) will be 1 in July, and she drinks dr.pepper,LOL just noticed your siggy and thought how odd, as her middle is Bryan
LuAnn


ETA: she is also a cd, breastfeeding,cosleeping, sling wearing mama

ETA:#2 I forgot to say congrats
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Old 05-19-2006, 11:41 AM   #8
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

books-
I agree with these 2 they were the best of the multitude I read.
when you're expecting twin, triplets or quads by barbara luke.
mothering multiples by Karen Kerkhoff Gromada

We started off with one of each of these things but had to purchase a second of some bc the babies liked them:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrie
Bouncer chairs are indispensible with twins, even if you didn't use one with your singletons, I would recommend getting two of them.
Too true!! I was given two of these before I knew it was twins and then gave them away bc I never used them previously. Then I had to go get myself 2 more bc they both wanted to be sitting up looking around and they were too little to do it!

swings- I started with 2 of the take and go swings that are really small and they worked for a couple months but then the babies weren't interested in them bc they swung too fast. They preferred a full size swing so we got one of those later and got rid of the smaller ones.

Walkers- we have one walker and one bouncer. We alternate between them so one is stationary even when the other is roaming. I got a walker bc my daughter kept trying to follow me in the saucer but couldnt' get to me!

playgym- we got one that was big enough for both of them to lay on.

Highchairs- we have one but I desperately want another one bc it is so much easier to feed them together and when I hold one to feed I get soooo messy!

Toys- 2 of each! They don't have to be identical but similar, like 2 similar rattles etc. They have both started wanting the same toy but when I give them each one that is similar they are usually fine.

Clothing- for the first few months I didn't move from the chair in the living room! I didn't really put anything on them except sleepers or the bags. I wouldn't invest in too many cute outfits for this time, just a few will do.

Boppy- even if you don't use this to nurse you will love how you can sit one in it when they are learning to sit and hold the other one so they can play together.

pack and play- I keep a square play pen in the Suburban for outings to friends bc it can fit both of them.

diaper bag- I love my Catini Colorado Backpack diaper bag from Babies R Us

Crib- I have a crib and a pack and play bc we can't afford a second crib so we use the one that we already had and then we were given the playpen. At first the sleeping arrangements were one with hubby in the bed and one with me in the chair in the living room. I had to pump fr 3 months die to latching issues so I pretty much stayed in that chair. Once they babies started latching, I slept in the bed with them bc it is only a queen and DH needed more room. I put them in the middle and a pillow on one side with me on the other. I switch sides during the night as they want to nurse. I usually start them off in their crib/pack and play and then the first time they wake to nurse I put them in the bed. They like to be together but when they sleep they wake eachother up so the co-sleeping in the crib didn't last for long. Naps are usually in the crib or pack and play, occasionally in the bed but yesterday one fell off the bed bc she pushed the pillow of so no more of that for her.

Wearing- I have one sling so far and wear them one at a time but I desperately need another one. There are times when the stoller can't be used and I need free hands to chase the 2year old so I am going to use 2 slings. Someone sent me a MT but I haven't recieved it yet to try so I don't have an opinion on that yet. I love my sling though!

stroller- I made the mistake of not investing in a good twin stroller to begin with. I went through 2 used ones and then finally broke down and got the $200 one I thought was too much. I preferred the Duoglider by Graco. It is lighter weight and smaller than most front back stollers and you can purchase carriers to go with it. I was due at the end of November but had them toward the end of October and I didn't want to be uncovering my newborns all the time to take them out of the other carseats so these were indispensible for us. I really reccomend getting the Duoglider with the carseats bc if I had invested in this earlier it would have been much easier. As for the side by side strollers, my friends who have them say they are great for outdoor outings or vacations but not for shopping narrow aisles.

When we are out we usually use the stroller for the 2 year old and one baby and then I wear the other baby. I am planning on getting a harness for my 2 year old though bc he has recently started to take off and I can't find him so even though I have never agreed with them, his safety is more important. I know you have 2 other children that are very young so you may want to think about this now.

Help- Accept it, ask for it, whatever it takes. The women's home from church came twice a week for 4 months and then they helped me do a once over to get things in order for me to take back the reigns. I also have my older 2 help otherwise my house would still be trashed all the time and nothing would get done. My house is still very disorderly and it is hard to get things done but I know it will get easier eventually. Try to make as many meals as possible ahead of time and invest in a deep freezer even if it is a small one. We stocked ours and it was invaluable for when they came home. I couldn't make meals ahead of time. I wasn't supposed to be doing much other than resting. I would burn my stomach and accidentally turn the gas on with it so we stocked up with frozen fare. See if a friend can stop by once a week just to play with the babies for awhile so you can clean or whatever you want to do.

Maternity clothing- You will get HUGE! I wore XL maternity and at the end I had to buy 2X and 3X. I didn't even make it to term either!

Join a support group. You local multiple group or online support. Yahoo groups breastfeedingtwins and apmultiples are good. I also belong to thetwinzone.com

Automobile?- what do you have? Be sure it will fit all the car seats and has enough room in the trunk for the stroller plus groceries! We had a station wagon that fit 8 but the week before they were born we were blessed with a Suburban at a great deal and I thank God bc after actually bringing them home, we realized that we wouldn't have fit in the car with all of us plus the diaper bag, not to mention the stroller and groceries!! We had three kids then the twins so it is pretty similar to you in that way.

If expense is an issue shop consignment or yard sales. Go used on any item you can. Definitely not on the stroller or carseats though.

The hardest part for me is finding time to do all thast needs to be done, especially spending individual time with each. In rea;lity I can't so I just try to include them in what I do. I make a big deal about how much the twins love their big brother (the 2 year old) so he always feels included. I always try to make room on my lap for him even when I have the babies so he doesn't feel left out. It can get really hard at times so if you need any encouragement, just let us know!
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Last edited by 1bigfamily; 05-19-2006 at 11:44 AM.
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Old 05-19-2006, 11:57 AM   #9
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

I agree with the book by Dr. Luke it helped me a lot. My girls slept in one playpen or crib until they were 4 months old. They didn't like the swings but I think it was because they were so tiny it was scary for them. I wasn't able to co-sleep with them since three was just too many in the bed. Many people I have talked to say that they would take one and their partener would take one and they'd co-sleep that way.

People will give you all kinds of advice about schedules and feeding but do what feels right to you. That's what has kept me sane...lol
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Old 05-19-2006, 12:00 PM   #10
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Re: Moms of twins/multiples...help! LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by kirk_heidi
Maternity clothing- You will get HUGE! I wore XL maternity and at the end I had to buy 2X and 3X. I didn't even make it to term either!
Too true! I weighed 128 when I got pg and about 190 when I delivered. I went out and got cute maternity things soon before I found out it was twins and they fit for like 2-3 weeks! By the end (the last week or so) I had like 2 pairs of pants I could wear, but I had PUPP and I was uncomfortable wearing anything but a nightgown all day.
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