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Old 04-15-2009, 09:09 AM   #1
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An Empty Spot...Time for #2?

I'm having an empty spot moment...I feel like I NEED another baby. J is 2 now, and she's so independant, and she's growing up. I feel like its time for another one. I've been feeling that way since...oh, about September of last year. DH and I talked and said that in a year, we'd TTC. But the economy is all screwed up and DH is STILL laid off, and hopefully he'll find something soon, but even if he does, there's always the worry that it won't be long term and he'll just get laid off again next winter.

Also, I'm upset because I KNOW I won't be able to be a SAHM. I really want to be, but its just not possbile for us right now. I want to BF to at least a year this time, if not longer (with J I stopped at 4 months because I had an operation and she was on formula for 3 weeks - she was too impatient to wait for the breast after that, so I just pumped until I eventually dried up ) I know I can pump at work, etc., but I'm afraid that the baby would just get used to the bottle again and not want to latch on anymore...I don't know why I'm even worried about that right now, I'm not even pregnant yet...Its just very important to me.

I made an appointment to get my Mirena out on May 7, and we hope to TTC in September, but I just feel like such a flip-flopper. One minute, I have CRAZY baby fever, and the next I'm doubting myself and us and whether we can do it. I know we won't starve to death or anything and I'm sure there is money I spend where I could be saving that I just don't see, but its just scary sometimes.

I'm just really torn. I feel like something is missing. Its affecting my relationship with DH too. And DH is such a great dad...He's not opposed to TTC, but hes worried too, and I don't want him to stress out any more than he is either. He's a great SAHD to J and I know he could do it with 2 if it came down to it. I'm just so sad or irritable at times for "no reason." I feel like that BFP and a new baby will bring some joy into our lives, will fill that empty space. I think the mamas here know what I mean when I say I feel like there is someone out there just waiting to meet us, to be part of our family.

I come from a family of 8 and we were always very poor growing up, but then again my mom didn't know how to manage money and still doesn't. I can't get over that fear.
I guess I'm just looking for some support here...


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Old 04-16-2009, 11:28 PM   #2
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Re: An Empty Spot...Time for #2?

God is in his heaven and has plan for you. Dont worry about the breatfeeding - I did not get to stay home with DD#1 till after we were expecting #2. I BF'ed till she was 18 mo and then onle stopped b/c I was PG and had dried up. If DH is a good SAHD then maybe that is the way it has to be - It maybe that b/c of that you can have him come up to work for say a lunch feeding or a break time feed. DD#1 never got formula once I got out of the hospital and never had problems going between BF and pumped bottles. You can do this. hang in there.
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