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Old 04-22-2009, 12:24 AM   #11
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

I just wouldn't let them know - when they ask, say 'it's none of your business', they'll probably assume you got a partial done again. If you're not friendly with them, I doubt they'll be changing many diapers anyway. If they do find out, just make your mantra 'I will not discuss this with you' and don't say anything else, respond with that every single time.

You know you're right, you don't have to justify that to nasty people who stick their noses where they don't belong.

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Old 04-22-2009, 05:56 AM   #12
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

Tell them the Dr. told you not to circ. Then tell them they shouldn't be so concerned with your baby's penis anyway!

My grandmother and my dh's parents/sister were surprised when they saw me changing Owen's dipe, and asked about it. I don't think Granny was to happy and they were all surprised, but they didn't pester me about it.

I have had some non-family members say things when it comes up, but my dh is the one who usually deflects the comments b/c they usually direct them at him.
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Old 04-22-2009, 06:57 AM   #13
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

I feel your pain, and although we are not expecting, my MIL is exactly like the people you are dealing with. She is very loud, negative, and not afraid to say hurtful things to make herself feel better. DH and I have decided that if we blessed with a baby boy someday he will remain intact. I know when she hears this I'm going to get yelled at to no avail. I plan sharing with her most of the information that changed my mind about circ'ing and then letting DH tell her to not bring it up again....ever, he's not her baby.
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Old 04-22-2009, 07:15 AM   #14
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

Either refuse to talk about it, after stating that the topic is NOT up for discussion, or leave the room/house. If they are in your house and start up and won't stop, ask them to leave.

Ask them if they feel it is appropriate for you to ask them about their vaginas? (DOUBTFUL! lol) Then how the HECK is it appropriate to discuss the boy's penises?

"THIS IS NOT A TOPIC OPEN FOR DISCUSSION. PERIOD."
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Old 04-22-2009, 07:31 AM   #15
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

i had my ds in a hospital and they put those little things on the bassinet, i'm a breastfeed baby and something about no circing... Anyway dh's family walked in and they just about had a heart attack. Telling me about all the problems that he would incur yada yada. I wouldn't even of told them if they didn't see the sign because it's none of their business. They eventually got over it.

You know i would just tell them if they ask... that you and dh made the best decision for your son. And leave it at that.
Sounds like some very overprotective aunts... i know the feeling
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Old 04-22-2009, 07:55 AM   #16
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

Im right there with you. My first 3 boys were circ'd but after research Ds4 is not. I never told MIL and I dont think she ever seen him with his diaper off ( she camee for 2 weeks after he was born) My Mom was a little put off at first but came around after I showed her research and told her about how "not" to clean it ( FYI she was a RN for her whole life) WHen Jack was born she spent the night in the hospital with me because DS3 had a melt down ( he was almost 5) and DH needed to be with him ... she was checking him out and said...Jeana he doesnt NEED circ'd he was born with a short forskin and looked like he had a perfect loose circ... she said she wondered how many babies were born like him that docs chopped anyway. LOL my mom is becoeming very anti medical establishment over the past few years and even agrees with our SEVERLY delayed vax schedule.
My brother and sister are still in the rolling the eye phase ( they are also both RNs) and my 14yr old gives me crap from time to time but unless Jack starts saying circ me... Im not worried. WE made the correct decision to leave him as God created him
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Old 04-22-2009, 08:26 AM   #17
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

My advice to you is going to be, have your dh do as much of the "fighting" as possible.
If your husband's family is anything like my husband's family, they will think that all the "weird" stuff you do is a direct result of you brainwashing your husband, and that it is their mission to bring him back from the dark side.

Even if it wasn't originally your husband's idea, pretend like it was, and that you had really nothing to do with it. Coach him on all the points he needs to make to them, let him do the talking, and then if you really wanna add something, wait till he's done and add, "And I think it's pretty disgusting you're thinking about our son's penis, anyway."

And most of all, know that you are making the right choice for your son and don't let yourself doubt it.
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Old 04-22-2009, 08:34 AM   #18
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

none of their business, period.
Say "I'm not discussing this." "My son, my decision."
You can't argue with people who aren't talking.
Walk out, change the subject. If they see you won't talk about it with them, they will eventually stop trying. Or your visits will be incredibly short!
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Old 04-22-2009, 09:45 AM   #19
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

I haven't experienced this reaction from family, but if I were in your situation, I honestly would refuse to discuss it. Let them know this is not an issue you're going to debate - the decision is made, and you, DH, and your son's doctor is in agreement.

Oh, I know you said your LO will be the first intact boy in the family, but likely this isn't the case. Circ'ing only became common in the US over the last two generations or so - I'd bet you or DH probably have family members in your grandparent's generation who are not circ'ed. Of course, since discussing family member's genitals is not appropriate, your in-laws likely aren't aware this.
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Old 04-22-2009, 09:48 AM   #20
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

Brandy you are so lucky your DH is in agreement with you. I regret circing the boys, and would change it if I could go back! DH was so adamant about having it done.
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