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Old 04-22-2009, 10:10 AM   #21
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

you hit the nail on the head with this one- just an example we didn't even tell them we were pregnant- they all have 3-4 kids or more and always act like we are crazy. So we just showed up big as a house one day (we haven't seen them in about 4 months or so) just before easter- and dh was at work (kids and i went by)

Aunt said "OOOH What did Al say when he heard you were pregnant"
I responded very snotty "Well since he helped create it he wasn't too surprised. Um we tried for every kid so far so a positive pregnancy test is must anticipated."
She just open mouth stared and said "oh I thought Al didn't want kids"
I replied snottier "Well considering I have his fifth kid in my tum right now someone should have taught him sex ed then . eh?"

She shut up.


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

Well thank you everyone I think you ALL had the right answer for each step of the fight lol..

Don't tell- let them figure it out.
IF they figure it out (they will because they "inspect" at diaper changes EW!) tell them None of their biz.
IF they attack attack back.
All else fails leave the situation...

I guess I needed to hear I had the right plan of action more so than what to do. I had to struggle to get them to accept breast feeding and now they are VERY supportive of it- and even brag about it.

Had to struggle to get them to accept cloth diapering and now they accept it and tell everyone about their nephews "natural wife" who cares about trees and such lol..

So I guess it's just one more education right?

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Originally Posted by ~Ryleigh's_Momma~ View Post
My advice to you is going to be, have your dh do as much of the "fighting" as possible.
If your husband's family is anything like my husband's family, they will think that all the "weird" stuff you do is a direct result of you brainwashing your husband, and that it is their mission to bring him back from the dark side.

Even if it wasn't originally your husband's idea, pretend like it was, and that you had really nothing to do with it. Coach him on all the points he needs to make to them, let him do the talking, and then if you really wanna add something, wait till he's done and add, "And I think it's pretty disgusting you're thinking about our son's penis, anyway."

And most of all, know that you are making the right choice for your son and don't let yourself doubt it.

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Old 04-22-2009, 10:20 AM   #22
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

Well you know we literally SCREAMED about it from September of last year (while TTC) and now.

My husband was very pro-circ- adamant that our final son would be too (I wanted another boy and prayed it would be a boy to avoid the argument.)

BUT he had no evidence. just as he did for breastfeeding, cloth diapering, vaxing etc.

So I said "OK LOOK, if you will watch this video of a newborn being circ'd than we can DISCUSS IT. IF you can't than there is nothing else to discuss. Because if you can't even watch it my son doesn't have to experience it."
(I can't watch it- thats how I figured out I could never circ lol... if I can't watch it I sure in the heck can't expect my little boy to experience it. )

He shrugged and said I guess he will have a bun then lol because I AIN'T WATCHING THAT! He had about 100 questions about cleaning it and such. I found some little t-shirts on etsy that say not to pull back the skin etc- and i plan on ordering some for when others watch him. You can tell people all the time but they don't listen so I want back up

To Dh's credit he actually has listened and retained the educational points I made. My OB (LONG STORY NOT HAPPY) Is trying to talk us into circ'ing because "freud says the penis will make the self esteem of the man" and if he looks different he will have issues. EVERY visit this man laid into me .

So I brought dh and doc thought he was getting an ally- um no. Dh turned right to the doc- touched his arm and said:
"Look doc- My wife told me we needed to breastfeed our sons- because they would be well adjusted, well nourished, and it was better for my wife. So we did- 8 years later she is right our boys are great big booby loving healthy boys. Then my wife said we need to cloth diaper because the diapers all of our families have been using for decades are poison. So we did my son has no rashes and hopefully his sperm count will be normal as his balls get to breath. THEN when i thought there was nothing else my wife said she didn't want to vax at all or only a few. I thought she was nuts. But through reading things she showed me and her knowledge and our peds support again she was right. SO if my wife feels our son should not have his little wee cut off than by golly she is getting her way. LEAVE HER ALONE."

I LITERALLY cried. he NEVER gets confrontational (ok almost never- if someone tells me to go to the bathroom when nursing they might get punched LMAO "who eats in the bathroom" dh says...) so that was both unexpected and much appreciated and he became my personal hero.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom24Babes View Post
Brandy you are so lucky your DH is in agreement with you. I regret circing the boys, and would change it if I could go back! DH was so adamant about having it done.
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Old 04-22-2009, 10:47 AM   #23
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

I just wouldn't tell them. The status of your son's penis is not their business.

FWIW, I have one circd and one intact after I learned better. I actually had more probs with the circd one and not one single prob with the intact one.
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Old 04-22-2009, 01:18 PM   #24
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

First, kudos to you for wanting to break the trend with your boys, and for going against what everyone in your family would want. Yay for thinking for yourself and doing the research

As far as my intact son, I didn't discuss it with anyone. I've only ever had two comments. One, my granny asked if we'd had it done. I said no. That was that. Another, was dh's friend. He saw me changing a dipe, and said 'Oh you didn't have him circ'd?' I said no, not necessary with a firm tone, and that was that.

When it comes to things that I am not flexible on(breastfeeding, not vaxing, keeping son intact, etc), I tend not to talk about it, b/c it's not really up for discussion. There will be no changing my mind once I've done the research. And if/when it does come up, I keep my tone firm, and confident. No issues thus far.

At any rate, it's his body, and his choice, not anyone else's.
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Old 04-22-2009, 01:46 PM   #25
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

My dad attacked me about not circing my boys. I told him exactly what my ped told me. It's an unnecessary, outdated tradition and it's BARBARIC! I told him he was cruel for cutting my brothers and he needs to mind his business. He hasn't brought it up since.
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Old 04-22-2009, 01:58 PM   #26
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Re: Question for non-circing moms- NOT A DEBATE!

Nobody in either family said much one way or the other about our not circing our son. All of my nephews and my brothers are all circed, so ds is the only boy on my side of the family to remain intact. But it was our decision and we are blessed with family that, for the most part, butts out of personal decisions like that. They probably all think I am a weirdo for delaying and selectively vaxing, using cloth, not circing, and nursing without even pumping a bottle for 15 months. But our son is happy and healthy and that is all that matters so nobody says anything.

I just wouldn't discuss your son's penis with the Aunts. It isn't really their business.
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