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Old 12-15-2006, 09:46 PM   #1
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Non-vaxing ??'s

Okay mama's... I had a talk with DH and told him that right now I am NOT comfortable putting any more vax's into our girls. (they have had everything the pedi recommended up to their 6 mo WBV) I explained to him (thank you mama's for this nugget of gold) that if we change our mind later we can vax them then, but once that vax is in we can't UNVAX them. He understood where I was coming from.

SO... my questions:

1. If any of you were on WIC how did you deal with them? I know (in California) they required me to bring the vax records twice a year. I don't know if Kentucky is the same way, but will we be booted off WIC for non-vaxing??

2. How on EARTH do I deal with the doctor? This is in a military treatment facility BTW. I'm scared they will try to bully me, and that they will try to make me sign a refusal form that basically is self-incrimination of abuse and neglect.

3. How do I deal with our families (should they find out, and believe me, they are all nosey!!!!)?? I know my mom and I have been talking about it a lot and I think she'll understand that I am not comfortable with it right now. But the IL's will probably be a pain. Any words of wisdom??

4. Anything else I should be prepared for????

Thanks mama's, a lot of you have posted links that I have seen in the last few months since I joined that helped me to come to this decision.

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Old 12-15-2006, 09:55 PM   #2
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

The only one I can answer for sure is the WIC question. (I dont' have WIC actually, but we have medicaid.) But no, they cannot take away any of those kinds of services because you don't vax. If they ask if you are "up to date" you can just tell them yes, but they are according to you. Trust me, you won't get into trouble or anything. If they ask for records, just give them the ones you have and tell them you are delaying or whatever. If they know you aren't vaxing INTENTIONALLY and not out of neglect, then they can't do anything.

As for the IL thing... they don't know squat about DS so I'm sure they don't know anyway. LOL

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Old 12-15-2006, 10:00 PM   #3
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

Hi!

We are not vaxing right now not sure if we will if we do it will be very limited. I am just no comfortable putting them in ds until I feel 100% comfortable with my decision. My ds got all his vaxs up until 9 months too.

To answer your questions.....

1. I am not on WIC, but I am pretty sure you can sign something saying you refused it. Hopefully someone else will chime in here.

2. Well I don't know....we had a doctor who pretty pro vax and I actually found an awesome AP doctor from the "Finding your Tribe" on Mothering.com. I LOVE him and it is SOOO nice to not have someone make you feel like you are doing the worst thing possible to your kids. Maybe look on Mothering and see if any other docs in your area would take you, since you are Military I am not sure, but would be worth a shot. Don't let them talk you out of it either!!! I know it's hard and they can make you feel bad, but just don't let em' get ya.

3. Family is tough, and really I found the best way to do it is to say NOTHING at all. Once an awhile it will come up with SIL but she pretty much figured out her trying to scare me isn't going to change anything. With my side well I don't even know if my mom and grandma know what I am doing and I am pretty close to them.....I just think it's easier to not say anything. It's tough though my SIL told me it was kids that don't get vaxed that get all the other kids infected.....I was like umm well if your vaxes are as all good as you tell me they are, then why would you worry??

I think I mentioned it all. I am kind of in a spot now where I really need to keep researching but I just haven't....but I know J won't be getting any anytime soon so I guess that allows me to slack off
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Old 12-15-2006, 10:05 PM   #4
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

2. How on EARTH do I deal with the doctor? This is in a military treatment facility BTW. I'm scared they will try to bully me, and that they will try to make me sign a refusal form that basically is self-incrimination of abuse and neglect.

I say if the dr bullys you don't take them to well baby check ups. I don't take my daughter and I know that she is healthy and thriving and when she needs to go to the dr (for being sick) I know they will not want to vacs when she is sick.

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Old 12-15-2006, 10:15 PM   #5
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

The bottom line is-THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN and you have the right to refuse any or all treatments, vaccines, etc. for them that you want to.

At first, it will be hard to stand up against "the professionals" but the more research you do, the better. Knowledge is power. And if anyone bullies you and demands more info, leave or tell them you will contact your lawyer. Nobody can force you to put anything into your child's body that you don't want to.

I think a lot of Docs pressure parents to test them. They want to decide who really knows what they're talking about or who is just going along with the "trend" More and more parents are choosing NOT to vax their kids these days and I am sure some of them don't do it just because their friends don't. But if you are confident and say you aren't comfortable with doing anymore for now, that is how it's going to be.

WIC can't force you to vax them and they cannot deny you of the program because you won't vax your kids. If someone tells you that, then you go to their director and then on to the county. You are not putting anyone at risk by not vaxing your kids, and therefore cannot be denied what has been set aside for you WITH taxpayer dollars. They will probably try to tell you that you have to, but you don't. You can provide an exemption form to them just as you would a school. Or, just keep "forgetting" your vax records. Chances are they won't notice since they have so many cases to deal with.

ETA: It's none of your families business, either. Just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with them. Nobody in our family knows. One of my Aunts does, but it's only because she made a comment about my cousin and his wife that don't vax their kids and she called them "freaks". I looked at her point blank and said, "We don't vax, either" That shut her up If everyone knew the truth about vaccines, most people would choose to pass on them. So, if your family members want hard facts, you can give them the info. But if they're just going to judge, just don't say anything.

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Old 12-15-2006, 10:28 PM   #6
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

1. If any of you were on WIC how did you deal with them? I know (in California) they required me to bring the vax records twice a year. I don't know if Kentucky is the same way, but will we be booted off WIC for non-vaxing??
Nope. They cannot MAKE you vaccinate your child. I simply told ours that we were on a delayed/selective/maybe none at all schedule and they were fine with it.

2. How on EARTH do I deal with the doctor? This is in a military treatment facility BTW. I'm scared they will try to bully me, and that they will try to make me sign a refusal form that basically is self-incrimination of abuse and neglect.
Signing the refusal form is just covering THEIR butts. They don't want your child to get something, then go back and claim you didn't know the risks because they didn't tell you. Sign it, and move on, imo. I have no problem signing their forms because I'm confident in my decisions.

3. How do I deal with our families (should they find out, and believe me, they are all nosey!!!!)?? I know my mom and I have been talking about it a lot and I think she'll understand that I am not comfortable with it right now. But the IL's will probably be a pain. Any words of wisdom??
I try to explain what I know, the risks of vaccinating and whatnot, past that, it's their issue not mine. I'd tell them if they are willing to research and give you what they find, you'll be more than happy to read and consider it. I always like to have something handy to give them to read as well.

4. Anything else I should be prepared for????
Friends. Some will think you're crazy. Some won't want their kids around yours. Your real friends will understand that it's not the decision they might make, but in the end it's not a big deal and the friendship can go on. For the most part, I avoid talking about it unless someone else brings it up.
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Old 12-16-2006, 08:32 AM   #7
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

thanks mamas. I know I still have a few months until I have to really deal with this, but I just want to be sure I'm fully prepared. I know the girls had everything that the pedi in CA wanted them to have up to 6 months. We have their "9 mo WBV" next month (they'll be 10 mo, I put it off) and I know in the back of my head that something may come up. I don't have their records from CA and I don't really WANT the new docs to have them. I'm just gonna tell them we don't vax, and so I am a bit worried they will want to do something. I'll update after then and let ya all know how it turns out! I'm glad my DH agreed that we can stop for now. He will do his own research, though he tends to leave these choices to me. I worry a bit that he'll ask his dad for help with the research, which means of course we'll get a big dose of the IL opinion, and biased research. Which is why I have a LOT of the links from here bookmarked!!!! LOL

Again, thanks everyone!!!
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Old 12-16-2006, 11:34 AM   #8
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

Hey, I have a military friend and she says they just pay extra to go to a friendly pedi off-base. Don't know if there are community resources where you're at; just something to think about.

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Old 12-16-2006, 01:10 PM   #9
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

Just re-affirming the WIC thing, here. When I went in, they asked if I brought her vax record and I said "she doesn't have one." The lady asked if that was because we chose not to do them and I said "yes." That was all. Not even a funny look. She just had to have the info for her form.
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Old 12-16-2006, 06:00 PM   #10
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Re: Non-vaxing ??'s

I'm in Cali and to keep my medical and WIC I just wrote a reason of explination and it worked!
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