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Old 12-16-2006, 02:13 AM   #1
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Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

Big problem here - DC is pushing 12 mos & won't sleep alone/all night. It wasn't an issue for us at all when he was waking to eat or needing something. Typically he would fall asleep & go to his crib after cuddling & then he'd wake to eat, then go back to sleep either in his crib or w/us. It was a great arrangement.

Now he's waking not to eat... but I dunno why He's been doing this a bit but he won't go back to sleep - not in his crib, not with us... nothing. We're done w/the family bed thing b/c no one is getting sleep. He'll lay there & scratch, turn circles, pull at hair, rub arms... anything BUT sleep. Put him in his crib - screams.

HELP! We need to figure out a way to make him ok with sleeping in his crib but are failing miserable. I HATE CIO, but that's what DH has tried twice. It's KILLING me. I'd like to resort to another option on the days that I have while DH is at work (DH lives at work more than half the time so I can work on this alone).

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Old 12-16-2006, 02:29 AM   #2
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

does he have a snuggly?
the thing that helped us swuitch with danae was she has this doll she just loves, so i put her in the crib and then give her the doll and her favorite blanket and she is happy. i also put telletubbies or baby signingtime on for her and she'll watch for a little bit and knock out.
i'm sorry your having trouble getting him back down

oh have you tried a warm bath before bed? we use baby magic calming bath, this and johnsons bedtime bath both work awesome@!
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Old 12-16-2006, 07:17 AM   #3
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

Is he teething? Is he walking yet? These are things that can keep a baby up at night. Ds2 woke alot when he was learning to crawl and again when he was learning to walk. He couldn't seem to stay asleep, and sometimes he would be up most of the night. Unfortunately there isn't much that i have found to do in that case, but as soon as he met that milestone he slept better again. For teething you can always use a teething remedy, hylands teething tablets for example.

Sorry I couldn't be more help.
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Old 12-16-2006, 07:48 AM   #4
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

How about laying down in/near his bed with him? or putting a mattress on the floor and laying in there until he falls asleep, than slowely moving out of his room? Good luck mama
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Old 12-16-2006, 11:39 AM   #5
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

2nd the warm bath. DD's pedi pushed "routine, routine, routine," and OMG it works.

We did the 5-minute rule...put her down and if she's still crying in 5 minutes, go back as many times as it takes. Are you still nursing? That rarely fails.

GL!
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Old 12-16-2006, 08:43 PM   #6
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

Unfortunately my situation wasn't exactly the same- my ds was waking to nurse and would go right bakc to sleep but at 1 year and with me working full time I needed to sleep and decided to make it happen.

It was a modified CIO. I started by putting him to bed after nursing and if he cried I comforted him and repeated my mantra which I said every time I came in to comfort him- "It's ok. Mama's here. It's time for night-night. Lay down." I would say it really calmly and quietly while I rubbed his back (whether he was laying down or standing up) and cuddled him- but I NEVER picked him up. The goal was to help him calm down, not to rub his back until he fell asleep.

After about 5 minutes I would say "night-night" and leave even if he wasn't laying down or calm. After about 4 minutes I would go in again (if he was still crying) and do the EXACT same thing- rub back, cuddle over the bars of the crib, don't pick up, repeat mantra. I would stay for 4-5 minutes then leave. This time I waited 7 minutes to go back in. Next time I waited 10 minutes. And every time after that the plan was to wait 10 minutes.

When he woke in the middle of the night I did the same thing. Did NOT pick him up just comforted and repeated mantra. Stayed a few minutes then left. Went back after 4 mins, 7 mins and 10 mins (repeated until he stopped crying) I will confess though that his crib was in the corner of our bedroom so after the first 2 times getting up to comfort (the first time and the 4 mins later time) I just called the mantra out to him from my bed.

The first night I had to go back quite a few times when I put him down to go to sleep- but he fell asleep a few minutes into the first 10 minute wait. And he woke up once around 2 am and I had to get up twice and then called out the mantra from my bed a few times (he would stand up and call out to me and I would respond and he would lie down, and he repeated this a few times)before he fell asleep. The second night I only went into the room to comfort him twice at bedtime and got up once in the middle of the night and called to him a couple of times from my bed. The third night he got it- he cried, heard the mantra and laid down so I could rub his back and comfort him. And when he woke in the middle of the night the same thing happened. Bedtime got easy fast and he kept waking in the middle of the night of and on for quite a while but I stuck to my plan and always responded the same way. (the hardest part!)

I do think I got lucky that he went with the program so quickly. But I also think that consistency was KEY. I always said the same mantra really calmly and almost monotone. And I NEVER picked him up out of the crib. It helped later on when he started waking up at 4:30 thinking it was time to get up! I would say the mantra and cuddle him and say "it's time for night night, lay down." Then I would go back to bed and he would go back to sleep- although not without protest some days! And there were MANY days. He did not immediately become a perfect sleeper.

But at 19 months, he is a great sleeper now! So it paid off. And he is a loving, smart, funny and very attached toddler. So it didn't do any damage.

By no means am I suggesting that you ignore your child if they wake up screaming in the middle of the night and things sound different than the normal protest cry. My ds woke that way a couple of times in a two week period recently (teething I think) and I did pick him up and rock him back to sleep. But be careful in the beginning, before your DC becomes a good sleeper. Consistency is key.

Hope that helps! Not as bad as CIO but working your way toward a good night's sleep- which you both need!

PS- My dh told me I should just let him CIO when I kept going in the room to comfort. He didn't think my way would work because I kept going in and "giving him what he wanted." I told him I could not let my baby cry for me and not respond in some way. That wasn't going to happen. I was so glad when my baby proved to his daddy that he wasn't "trying to get his way." He just needed help learning to sleep through the night.
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Last edited by turtle2who; 12-16-2006 at 08:50 PM.
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Old 12-16-2006, 08:51 PM   #7
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

that sounds like a good plan wendy, thanks for sharing.
danae has been doing soo well until last night, she woke up and would lay down to sleep for abut 15 minutes and woke up again, last night was soo long, i think about 4:30am we finally went to bed for good
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Old 12-16-2006, 09:32 PM   #8
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

I got almost the same results even though I picked her up every time---it did take longer though. Sometimes when I described my nights my crunchier IRL friends would say, "Girl, just put that baby in your bed! Don't kill yourself trudging back and forth!" But I couldn't do it. DH was working offshore and when he came home he'd often have been without sleep for 4-5 days STRAIGHT. It just wasn't safe. And I wanted consistency for my babe.

The computer room has always been near DD's, so I started by allowing myself 5 minutes of computer time while waiting and listening...and look where that led me!
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Old 12-16-2006, 09:37 PM   #9
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

Do you have a night light in your childs room? I found that around 12 months turning a night light on and putting some toys in with my son really helped him to sleep. He sleeps in his playpen next to our bed until about 5-6am and then comes in bed with us. It's been working really well - hope you guys find something that works for you!
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Old 12-17-2006, 12:53 AM   #10
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Re: Any tips *that work* for getting DC to sleep alone?

books on tape.... Hamish often has a book on tape played if he's resisting sleep. lights are out, he's in his playpen (bed) and he can listen to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Winnie the Pooh, Beatrix Potter.... Sometimes I cuddle with him before just to ge thim settled and we listen together.... then I will put him in his bed and turn the volume down a little so he has to be quiet to listen.

ummmmmmm can you tell I'm a teacher?
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