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Old 12-19-2006, 09:09 AM   #31
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Re: I've gotta know...

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Part of it is my fault, I am to lazy to get out of bed in the middle of the night to feed the baby. So once he wakes up for the first time after I go to sleep, hes in our bed.
I am this EXACT same way. We do co-sleep but only because it's just easier to feed him for me in the night when we do.

We did with DD also but at 6 months she decided to wean herself and sleep in her own bed through the night just all of a sudden, it was a little traumatic for me at first

But I find it uncomfortable because I literally get less then 1/4 of the bed so I am soooooo sore right now.

I thought I would just bottle feed at night because it would be "easier" NOPE so I just kept with the BFing at night and along with it came the co-sleeping.

But if we didn't I wouldn't really be sleeping much in my bed anyway what with feeding so often.

But we will probably only do it until 4 months or when DS decides he's had enough like DD.

Whatever works I say!

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Old 12-19-2006, 09:19 AM   #32
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Re: I've gotta know...

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Originally Posted by FitMommyOf2 View Post
I'm not against it; my motto is 'whatever floats your boat', kwim? For us I just found everyone sleeps better, deeper, undisturbed in everyone's own bed. We do have however family nap times from time to time (Not the lil one yet as he still thinks it's 'party time' every time I try to take a nap w/him in our bed..)


OMG .. my kid thinks its party time too when we try to bring him in our bed.. he really does best sleeping on his own .. he sleeps longer and it saves me trips to the chiropractor. when he was about 4 mo old i would nurse him around 5am and let him sleep with me.. but he would invariably nearly push me out of bed!!
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Old 12-19-2006, 09:30 AM   #33
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Re: I've gotta know...

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Originally Posted by kannondicarpo View Post
Thanks for all of the input and honesty. My DH and I are, as seen in my sig, expecting our first this Spring, and though we are against it for reasons such as feeling like we will lose that quality time that we get at night and not wanting to have a school-age child still in our bed long after we intended to, we wanted to hear from those of you who are experienced. I know that we will likely have the baby in our room for a few days or weeks but then off to the nursery. I do plan to exclusively BF and will have to see how it all works out but I am sure that there are mamas on here who EBF without their baby by their side all night. Thanks again for all of the input. Alot of it was very insightful.

Glad you found it helpful. I'll add my : When DD was born I wanted to co-sleep but didn't dare. DH was working offshore at the time and would be gone for days, weeks, sometimes months at a time and I thought, "What he doesn't know..." But I thought it would be better for DD to have consistency, and while her daddy was offshore he would very often work 4-5 DAYS with no real sleep (maybe 2 hour catnaps here and there) and then drag himself home to bed. (For that reason we had to live really close to his shop. More than once I got up in the middle of the night to go get him because I didn't want him to drive.) I knew the man slept like a log. Even if I VACUUMED around him he didn't stir. He was scared to have DD in the bed with him and frankly, so was I. She slept in a co-sleeper attached to our bed at first (daddy had several weeks off), and while it was a little more convenient for BFing, it was awful for my sleep. Especially since DH didn't even stir when she screamed at the top of her tiny lungs. I hated him in those moments and wanted to kick him (sometimes I did) and say, "Wake up! If I have to suffer so do you!" You can't understand the bliss of a full night's sleep until you've had a newborn interrupt it a thousand times...when she slept through the night for the first time I felt like a million bucks! We moved her to her crib at about 2 months....mostly because she was approaching the weight limit on the co-sleeper/bassinet (18 pounds!) It was hard at first. I kept the monitor on and ran down there at every little sound. She adjusted well, but when she started cutting teeth it was AWFUL...back and forth, back and forth, seemed like 5 million times a night. My crunchy friends told me to give up and put her in bed with me, but I didn't. Get a comfy chair for baby's room if you do this! And make sure the hallway is safe and well-lit. I was terrified of turning the wrong way and falling down the stairs, so we installed a night light.

You CAN EBF and not co-sleep. It will mean not much sleep for awhile, I think it's worth it. I pumped, too, so DH could participate in the late-night fun, but he never did get around to it and then when she was a little older she refused the bottle. We have to get a suite now whenever we stay at a hotel (or an adjoining room) because the slightest noise will wake her...she doesn't want to miss a thing! (BTW, this came when she hit about 15 months. Before that she'd sleep in the pack-n-play with us nearby.) But 99% of the time, she's a great sleeper.

Sorry this is so long----Congrats and good luck!
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Old 12-19-2006, 09:34 AM   #34
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Re: I've gotta know...

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I hated him in those moments and wanted to kick him (sometimes I did) and say, "Wake up! If I have to suffer so do you!"
I thought it was just me that felt that way
They way he just lays there all sleeping peacefully
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:13 AM   #35
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Re: I've gotta know...

Like others, I'm not against it for other people, but it does NOT work for us.

We started out with Katie in our bed because it was great for a while to not have to get out of bed to feed her. However, she stirs a lot in her sleep, and I think part of the reason I was feeding her at night is that she would stir, which would wake me up, so I would automatically feed her without having the benefit of being fully awake to think about it. Also, having her in our bed meant that I had to go to bed at the same time she did.

I got to the point where I realized getting up once or twice during the night would be better than getting bad sleep all night. So we moved her to her own room when she was 2-3 months old. A week later, she started sleeping through the night.

It is heaven - now I get better sleep and I have a few hours in the evening to myself after she goes to bed. (DH stays up late and listens to her, so he can get her up if she is REALLY crying.)

We recently went to my ILs for the holiday. We share a room with Katie (in her pack n play). The lack of sleep reminded me why I'm glad she has her own room.
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Old 12-19-2006, 11:23 AM   #36
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Re: I've gotta know...

It's not that I'm against it really. Actually I planned on it with the next child we have...

I've changed my mind after a recent case of Sids hit the family. My niece's 2 month old Died while in the bed with my niece. No one is positive if she might of accidently rolled over on the baby or if she just died, but we do know when my niece woke up she was face down and not breathing.

It's scared the crap out of me, and I'll NEVER sleep with a baby in my bed.

It was out of the question really anyway because I roll and sleep VERY HEAVILY. People say, well you don't do that with the baby in the bed, you know the baby is there, Blah blah blah.. well my husband has been in my bed for 5 years now almost and that doesn't stop me from kicking him, hitting him, pushing him and rolling over him in my sleep. lol He'll wake me up in the morning and tell me what i did. I honestly don't remember doing any of it. And if i can do that to my 200+ lb husband, i don't wanna know what i could do to a 10 lb baby.

We might just get us a cosleeper though. I really haven't decided. Miranda slept so good once she was in her own crib by herself.. first 3 weeks of having her in the bassinet.. neither of us got any sleep.

More power to the people who wanna have a family bed kind of thing, but I don't think I can ever think of cosleeping with a child IN my bed. maybe next to it, but never in it.
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Old 12-19-2006, 11:41 AM   #37
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Re: I've gotta know...

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Originally Posted by FitMommyOf2 View Post
I'm not against it; my motto is 'whatever floats your boat', kwim? For us I just found everyone sleeps better, deeper, undisturbed in everyone's own bed. We do have however family nap times from time to time (Not the lil one yet as he still thinks it's 'party time' every time I try to take a nap w/him in our bed..)
My thoughts exactly.... except on the naptime. DD sleeps in her crib for naps too. I am afraid to cross the line- once she sleeps in my bed i am afraid i would never get her back.
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Old 12-19-2006, 08:11 PM   #38
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Re: I've gotta know...

Just wanted to add that I EBF for a year and she didn't sleep with us. There were times (which are now becoming more often thought) that I do get her in the middle of the night and I'm too lazy to take her back to her bed. I didn't think it was that bad getting her. We kept her in a cradle in the kitchen (I live in a trailor for the time so it was kitchen/living room.) and then we brought her to our room in the cradle for a couple of weeks when she had really bad reflux. I was scared I wouldn't hear her if she started choking. Her being that close helped a bit but not much. I felt uncomfortable having her in there when dh and I would you know... LOL even though she was asleep in her cradle. I just think for us it's better that shes in her own bed for the majority of the night. Anyway all that being said I just wanted to say that I did do the exclusive bfing thing to a year when we started solids full force. You can do it momma!!
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Old 12-19-2006, 08:52 PM   #39
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Re: I've gotta know...

I have co-slept with all my kiddos'....I LOVE it..however I have hit the point were I want the older two out or I want a bigger bed. We have a queen size bed with 5 people in it! It's insane!
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Old 12-19-2006, 09:06 PM   #40
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Re: I've gotta know...

I have co-slept with all of my kids and I LOVE IT!!! We sleep better, we feel better and it just works for us!! My 10 month old daughter just went to pack n play last month because she would not stay asleep with us. she is in the boys room with them. If she wants to come back when she gets older.. she is more then welcomed. We are very fortunate with our kids. We never had any problems with our boys going to their own beds or sleeping anywhere else. Our daughter does fine on her own too. My husband is military and when he is deployed.. all 3 kids are in the room with me. the boys on the floor in their little area i made for them and the baby in the pack n play.

As for my husband and I.. we have no problems with alone time or us time. We get plenty of that. We make time for it and make sure we get our time together too.


Each to their own.
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