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Old 06-02-2009, 07:41 AM   #1
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adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

I don't have many, at least not what I consider many (we're pregnant with our third). However, I'm the 5th of 6 and want many. My sister (pregnant with her 9th) said that transitioning from 2 to 3 was when she finally felt like she had a family (as opposed to a couple and two kids) but it was also logistically hard for her husband...because he wasn't used to being outnumbered! She said for her the 1 to 2 was harder, but her second was a very difficult child.

So after which child did you have the most difficult time? Was that child a high needs infant?

I fully believe it really takes a while for a family to adjust to ANY child. How long does it take you to adjust and get to know a new child?

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Old 06-03-2009, 09:53 AM   #2
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

For me, I think it was the transition from four to five.

BUT, we had unique circumstances in that our children were:

Oldest
3 year gap
Second
(Because of the death of a child here, there was 2.5 year gap.)
Third
Two year Gap
Fourth
Eleven MONTH Gap
Fifth

The fourth had various issues as a toddler/preschooler, the main one being two major food allergies - dairy and soy which made my (NOW) angel a very difficult toddler. And obviously adding in a new baby less than a year apart. I WILL say that our current household is not neater, but runs more smoothly and with less drama than it ever did with just two children. :P
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Old 06-03-2009, 03:20 PM   #3
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

The hardest adjustment for us was 1-2. not sure if it was the addition of the extra child, or the fact that they were only 15 months apart, or a little of both. Adding the 3rd and 4th kids has been really easy, and our 3rd was a very needy, clingy baby, and is still the most high maintenance kiddo we have. She also sleeps terribly, but it still wasn't a very hard transition. I was just more tired for longer after she was born than the others. I don't really feel like we've had a major adjustment period when adding any of our kids. Baby number 4 actually fit in so easily it's like he's always been part of our family.
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Old 06-03-2009, 03:49 PM   #4
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

#2, #5 and #7 were difficult adjustments. ALL had to do with the needs and issues the new child brought to the family. And, only one of those children came as a newborn.
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Old 06-04-2009, 12:27 PM   #5
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

The transition from 2 to 3 was what I found most dificult, but #3 was a very HNB. I found going from 3-4 much easier, but I also had an 11 year gap between #3 and #4 and my 4th is a very easy going baby. I also felt outnumbered once the third came along.
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Old 06-15-2009, 10:32 PM   #6
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

Going from 1-2 was my hardest transition. Not exactly sure why, my 2nd was a super easy-going, content to just nurse to sleep and hang in the sling kind of babe. I felt a huge shock though being the mama of 2 kids. All the other transitions were no big deal and the new babe just sort of found their place. My youngest (5th kiddo) is 8 mos and she still ropes the moon for her older bros and sister.
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:39 PM   #7
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

Well...I went from 1 to 3, so...I don't know. But, we are TTC#4 and I'm a little nervous about the transition.
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Old 06-16-2009, 08:06 PM   #8
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

Thank you all for posting your thoughts on this. I can't help but wonder what it will be like to add a second child, if we choose to do so. I go back and forth between really feeling like I want a child (usually when things are going well with my son) and feeling like one is all I can handle (generally when things are not going well).
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:37 PM   #9
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

I think my second was my hardest to adjust to. I had only one child for 4 and half years before haven my next. Now I had my third two years after that and it wasn't has hard to adjust to. We still want more and I don't think it will be any big deal since I teach a class of 10 three year olds everyday.
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Old 06-18-2009, 01:31 PM   #10
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Re: adding in another child -- just some thought-provoking questions

My hardest transition by far was from 2 to 3. None of my kids were particularly high needs or anything like that, but like another poster said, I think adding any child to your family no matter what number takes some time to transition. I just found myself overwhelmed at points that had never happened before. With that being said I am hoping to conceive #4 by the end of the year.
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