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Old 06-15-2009, 06:58 AM   #1
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How do you do it?

We just had our 3rd child. Our original plan was 5, we KNOW we want at least one more (in a few years). Every time I see/ read about large families I get this yearning foras many as possible. My problem is I hate, Hate, HATE being pregnant!!! It also wreaks havoc on our marriage. How do you get past the difficulty and discomfort of that time over and over again?

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Old 06-15-2009, 04:15 PM   #2
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Re: How do you do it?

We started fostering babies. All the baby lovin' and no pregnancy. We've adopted one of our babies and are working on the adoption of our 1yo.
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Old 06-15-2009, 05:45 PM   #3
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Re: How do you do it?

What is it that makes being pregnant so bad for you? I love being pregnant so I'm just curious.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:02 AM   #4
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Re: How do you do it?

I DESPISE being pregnant. Hate it. Absolutely hate it. It's full of medical intervention for me, a surgery every time, preterm labor, and all sorts of drama. I hate it.

But, it's nine months. And the baby? A lifetime.

I consider it a trade-off and try to concentrate on the perks. I get to feel a baby moving inside me. That's pretty amazing. I get to watch the baby move from one side to the other. I get to give birth which is pretty awesome in it's own right. And at the end, I get to breastfeed all over again, which I DO love. I get a new baby, a whole new person.

So, I just try to change my focus. You can change a lot by being grateful I guess. I'm blessed with a friend who had a reversal about seven years ago. She has wanted a baby in the worst way. She had one and would LOVE to have another. She'd go through any trial, any hardship, any ANYTHING to have another baby before she hits menopause. Chances are unlikely that it will happen for her. She keeps me mindful.

I hate the medical intervention. I'm not fond of dry heaving over a toilet. I'm in a dreadful spot right now of trying to find a new OB. I've given up on my hopes of ever having a midwife. BUT I can still have a baby. And what a huge thing that is all by itself. All of the rest means very, very little, to the gift that it is to have another child in your life. When you think about it, it's a pretty cheap price.
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Old 06-16-2009, 12:36 PM   #5
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Re: How do you do it?

What problems do you have being pregnant? Totally nonjudgemental mama, is it sickness, exhaustion, or something else?
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:15 AM   #6
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Re: How do you do it?

Oh, I am the same way. I feel terrible when I say it too. I am not a happy pregnant gal. I would adore a big family (we are about to have #3) but I just dont know if I can go through too many more pregnancies. I dont have any advice. I just wanted to say I understand.
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Old 06-18-2009, 01:48 PM   #7
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Re: How do you do it?

Call me selfish, but really just don't like being nauseous 24/7 and highly uncomfortable and sore for several months. Only one of my pregnancies has been really hard from beginning to end, but it is just so difficult to be pregnant/huge/uncomfortable and still take care of my family. DH tries to help, but, honestly, fails miserably. I get horrible pelvic separation pain-this last time for the whole 3rd trimester. I always have all day sickness for the 1st trimester (one time for the whole thing). My house goes to pot for 8mos, my kids watch way too much tv, we spend too much money eating out (fast food), and DH gets super irritable and sometimes angry because of the toll it takes on our sex life. I enjoy being able to move without pain, bend over, pick up my little ones, play with my kids, not be totally embarrassed about the condition of my house, and stick to a budget so our finances don't get all out of whack.

I LOVE the end result and somehow this last baby has brought us all so much closer together (including the older girls to each other and the rest of us), but the trip to the end is really taxing for all of us and not something I enjoy.
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Old 06-18-2009, 03:27 PM   #8
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Re: How do you do it?

I experience everything you mention except the sex problems. My dh complains my desire increases too much, LOL. I hate the nausea. It is utterly miserable for me, sometimes until 20 weeks. We muddle through though. I took bonine last time and that helped. I am looking forward to this baby moving out soon, but will miss it as well. To answer your question, I just do it b/c that is the only way to have a baby, but also b/c we are devout Catholics who believe in no form of birth control, nor nfp unless there is a grave reason. My dh has improved a lot over the years in my pregnancies which has helped. He understands more than he did before when we just had little ones. But no it is not easy, truth be told. I would not change anything though
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Old 06-18-2009, 03:37 PM   #9
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Re: How do you do it?

I'm pregnant with my 4th and I totally hear you. I'm in my first trimester and so sick of feeling nauseous. I am dreading the awkwardness and discomfort of the third trimester. I had my first 2 kids and then took a long break...9 years...so when I got pregnant with my 3rd, I had forgotten it all pretty much. Now, this 4th baby is going to be 26 months after the 3rd and it feels like I was JUST pregnant. I know that's not as close as a lot of mommas have their babies, but it just seems like it because I'm still nursing the 3rd baby. Anyway, it doesn't really help you...but I understand. Hugs to you!
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Old 06-19-2009, 01:25 PM   #10
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Re: How do you do it?

I also was miserable when I was pregnant. The most miserable I have probably ever been in my life and went through a major depression as well. I don't want to birth any more children, but I want a lot of children. Right now we are adopting our 2nd dd through the foster care system. Sometimes I question the initial motivation (of not wanting to be pregnant), but there are many reasons we have chosen this path and it is the right one for our family for right now. How God will grow our family in the future we will have to wait and see.
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