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Old 12-27-2006, 09:06 PM   #1
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do u ever feel

critisized in the way you parent bc its different. I love my S/O so much but we clash on things like that. He dont see why i use slings,cloth diaper,dont spank just LOTs of stuff. Also we dont have cadence on a schedule she sleeps when she sleeps. I dont wanna be up at 7 am so why would i force my child to. he dont understand her being rearfacing in her carseat either. Im happy with how i do things and he isnt gonna change that but he just dont understand. Sometimes he will make little comments and it really upsets me and i know in my heart hes not trying to upset me he just doesnt "get it". Do others do this to you? How do you deal with it. Im so sick of handing out websites and stuff i just wanna be like this is my child and im gonna parent her in how i feel is right (which i do say) but ...idk just sick of being judged i guess....

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Old 12-27-2006, 09:10 PM   #2
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Re: do u ever feel

my mom
jsut now she told me why is david still sleeping on your bed?? you spoiling her.
i just keep quiet. she critizes everything i do with david. i just dont respond to her back. reason why i love my MIL, she doesnt do that to me
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Old 12-27-2006, 09:18 PM   #3
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Re: do u ever feel

haha i slept with my mom honestly till i was in fifth grade and that was comforting for me cadence co sleeps right now sometimes i wanna wean her from it but i cant sleep alone so for now shes staying in my bed haha. He also asked my my veiws on BF in public and im like yea id do it and he just gave me this look i go "well you dont see ff moms run and hide do you im sorry but if my child was hungry i woudl feed it then and there" and then told him i would bf till they were ready to wean. He was just asking opinions on that though we are not pregnant nor trying haha not anytime soon so those were just random questions on my veiws. its weird he says things about stuff i do but doesnt care that i dont believe in hormonal birth control? he says either way i could skip a pill or lie to him about my fertile period so he has to trust me? idk just think its odd he comments about everything but that haha silly man
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Old 12-27-2006, 09:50 PM   #4
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Re: do u ever feel

My dh and I don't agree on a LOT of big issues - yelling at the kids, spanking, bedtime/cosleeping, but he doesn't ask me to change my ways, just wants to understand better (so he can justify to other people? I dunno). Anyway, I think it's normal, as long as he isn't actually saying things that attack YOU, if you kwim. He should be able to learn and question w/out being MEAN. I hope that makes sense...it's pretty late here lol!
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Old 12-27-2006, 10:21 PM   #5
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Re: do u ever feel

yea i dont think he is trying to attack me i guess i just take things personal he laughs at me bc i go wow that lady needs a sling and its not like im gonna go up and say u NEED to do this but i veiw it as like everyone can use pointers and ya she has a fussy baby so why not try it but i guess he thinks im pushy (although i have NEVER said to anyone they NEED to try them but if we talk about it i do suggest them)
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Old 12-27-2006, 10:39 PM   #6
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Re: do u ever feel

Quote:
Originally Posted by reborin View Post
My dh and I don't agree on a LOT of big issues - yelling at the kids, spanking, bedtime/cosleeping
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Old 12-27-2006, 10:53 PM   #7
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Re: do u ever feel

I think as parents, everyone gets criticism however they chose to parent. You should be proud of yourself for being such a strong and caring mommy to stick to your guns. Eventually your SO will either come to terms with how you do things, or just learn to deal with it! Good for you!
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Old 12-27-2006, 11:03 PM   #8
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Re: do u ever feel

He's probably not trying to criticize you. Sounds more like he just wants to understand how you do things. If you are looking at this being a relationship that is more serious than a midsummers night fling... then he's looking to see where you are on topics to match them up to his views, ask about the ones that differ to see why you do them, accept the ones he does agree on and just go from there. My DH and I did this for the two years we dated before marriage and the times we took my 3 yr old neice with us on camping trips, beach trips, etc... we became the defacto parents. And it was interesting to see how we interacted dealing with a child (and even more humorous since she wasn't even ours).

Don't sweat it mama... I'm sure he's just asking to ask, not to condemn or critisize. Trust me when I say you'll KNOW when it's criticism (which I'm sure you already know that too). My IL's love to condemn, criticize, pick on, put down, bash, belittle, quesion... EVERYTHING I do. My DH can do the exact same thing but they won't say anything to him, but if I do it... *BAM*... jumping all over me. I just stay away from them now.

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Old 12-28-2006, 01:42 AM   #9
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Re: do u ever feel

Yup, my inlaws are jerkoffs sometimes. It gets old.
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Old 12-28-2006, 06:33 AM   #10
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Re: do u ever feel

When anyone says something to me, I just shrug and go about my business. I acknowledge that they said something, but show them that I obviously prefer my way.
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