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Old 06-24-2009, 11:01 AM   #1
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Kissing cousins

Yesterday I was at my Mom's house for our weekly Mommies club and my brother (who lives about 3 hours a way) and his family were in town for a Dr. appt. We talked and the kids played, we had lunch.
Well, I got up from the living room to go get a drink and I see my nephew who has my DD by the hand, trying to go into the bathroom. (which is locked because someone was in it) I asked what they were doing and my nephew ran away, while my daughter explained that he wanted to take her into the bathroom to kiss her!
Inside I was FREAKING OUT! My heart was beating fast, I didn't know what to do. (I might ad that was sexually abused as a child)
I sat DD down in the other room and told her she doesn't need to be in the bathroom with anyone but herself, and that they shouldn't be doing anything that they would need to hide from everyone by going into the bathroom.

I don't know if I should talk to her about it again. What worries me is that my nephew knew it was wrong, but DD was clueless. Even when I tried to tell her it was not okay, she didn't understand why.
I am usually very forward with her and clearly explain (simply) things, but I just don't know what to do here.

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Old 06-24-2009, 09:39 PM   #2
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Re: Kissing cousins

Aw come on!
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:44 PM   #3
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Re: Kissing cousins

I think you handled it perfectly. If she still continues to question why she shouldnt be going into a bathroom with someone explain, as many times as need be, that going into the bathroom is a single act and only for doing bathroom-related activites.

You might also want to talk about secrets and appropriate kissing(again).
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:20 PM   #4
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Re: Kissing cousins

At 5, I think that I would discuss a little more in depth about appropriate and inappropriate touching and kissing. I don't have any advice as to what exactly to say though...
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Old 06-24-2009, 11:30 PM   #5
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Re: Kissing cousins

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Originally Posted by ShyDaisi View Post
At 5, I think that I would discuss a little more in depth about appropriate and inappropriate touching and kissing. I don't have any advice as to what exactly to say though...
I'm freaked out for you!! I dont know what I would do exactly. Have you spoken to his parents about the incident? They need to know so they can talk to him also. Also, you should let her know that if anyone wants to take her by herself into a private area again that she needs to say "no", whether it be a child asking her or an adult. G/L Mama!!
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Old 06-24-2009, 11:53 PM   #6
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Re: Kissing cousins

I would give a refresher on the "nobody touches your privates" talk and also discuss what is appropriate kissing (ie on the cheek only until she's older...)
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Old 06-25-2009, 12:04 AM   #7
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Re: Kissing cousins

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I'm freaked out for you!! I dont know what I would do exactly. Have you spoken to his parents about the incident? They need to know so they can talk to him also. Also, you should let her know that if anyone wants to take her by herself into a private area again that she needs to say "no", whether it be a child asking her or an adult. G/L Mama!!
I didn't want to tell my brother or his wife because I know they would have severely punished him. I should have sat him down as well but I wasn't thinking straight. I think I will have another talk with her.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:07 AM   #8
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Re: Kissing cousins

I think how you handled it is fine!

My DH has a lot of girl cousins, all with kids, and once I heard a story about how some got together once and were encouraging the kids (mostly under 2) to be kissing with tongues. I think that is highly inappropriate! Stories like this are why we usually don't bring our kids around them.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:20 AM   #9
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Re: Kissing cousins

I would talk to her more about the topic, but try not to relate it to that specific incident b/c you don't want her to think you're harping on it or that she did something wrong (even if you say she didn't do anything wrong).
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:22 AM   #10
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Re: Kissing cousins

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Originally Posted by bluemerle View Post
I think how you handled it is fine!

My DH has a lot of girl cousins, all with kids, and once I heard a story about how some got together once and were encouraging the kids (mostly under 2) to be kissing with tongues. I think that is highly inappropriate! Stories like this are why we usually don't bring our kids around them.


How old were the instigators? Yikes!
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