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Old 07-05-2009, 11:28 AM   #1
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How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

He's wanting to know exactly how baby's are made from the mom and dad ..... I'm slightly uncomfortable talking about it and forget dh helping out .,


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Old 07-05-2009, 11:35 AM   #2
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

I always just answer the questions they ask, but we were looking for graphics and found this fabulous site that is for kids that age and answers a lot of questions!
Michelle, mom to DD (7/9/99), DD (11/12/01), and DS (4/17/07); wife to DH (8/31/96)
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Old 07-05-2009, 11:39 AM   #3
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

I also just answer with the facts, and when dealing with these topics use the correct term for everything (vagina, penis, menstrual cycle, etc.). It's much better that he hears it from you than a friend who got it from his older brother etc. Also, try not to let your discomfort show on the outside or while talking to him as it may put him off from coming to you in the future. Good luck!
JC, SAHM to my three beautiful daughters Nathalia Grace , 12, and my Irish twins Ava Elizabeth, 8,: Olivia Catherine 7
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Old 07-05-2009, 11:46 AM   #4
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

I do the same as Honeymommy. Our conversation thankfully was part of our biology curriculum - he studied reproduction methods of different animals before we got to humans. By the time we got there it was pretty painless - I grabbed a few choice books from the library to supplement our science encyclopedia, we looked up some amazing pictures of the egg and sperm and how they join/multiply/divide into cells to become the start of a human and how it grows from there. I answered his questions and provided info until he looked uncomfortable, then pointed out the books I brought home. He looked through them a LOT on his, all in all I'd say it was a much better conversation than the one my mother and I had at that age.
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Old 07-05-2009, 12:51 PM   #5
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

I just went through this with dsd. She's 9 1/2. She was a high school baby and dh and her bio mom were never married/lived together, anything. Her bio mom has been married to dsd's step dad since before dsd can remember and dh and I married when dsd was very young also. She's had a really hard time recently with how she came to be. She couldn't really understand why her dad and mom wanted to have her when they never really loved each other. Her bio mom has expressed to me several times that she didn't want to be the one to have that talk, so I did. I didn't use funny names for body parts, just told her the truth. The hardest thing was that once the light bulb went off in her head about how she came to be was the thought of her bio parents doing the act. I then had to explain to her that s*x was an adult act and her parents made an adult decision when they were teenagers and not really prepared for what they were doing.
She's really a well adjusted kid, but it's easier to just tell them like it is.
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Old 07-05-2009, 02:10 PM   #6
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

You can find some great resources on-line to help you explain it in an age appropriate way. Here's a link

Good luck!
Amanda, Mama to my 5yo wild child and PITA Hubby.
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Old 07-05-2009, 03:39 PM   #7
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

My oldest asked when she was 5 (I was pregnant with her first sibling) and I told her that mommies have something called an egg and daddies have something called sperm and when you put them together, sometimes it can make a baby. That satisfied her at the time. As she got older and asked for more details, she got them. We finally put it all together when she was 9 (and I was pregnant with her 3rd sibling.)
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Old 07-05-2009, 04:33 PM   #8
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

Honestly, with no nicknames for body parts... try to create a safe and open environment because if there are any issues or questions, I'm sure you would like your DS to come to you and you would like to know that the informtion he is getting is accurate and from a reliable source. If you don't know an answer to a question, tell them you'll find out and get back to them.... During these talks is a great time to interject any religious beliefs you may have if any by saying we believe.... Let them know that it is an adult act between to committed and mature adults.... It's best to do it in a car or while doing chores or something because there isn't any awkward eye contact or fiddling hands and they're able to process everything on their own with you there. If they ask if you and daddy do these things (if they ask what a bj is perhaps) I think the best answer if you don't want to divulge that information to your kids (and I'm sure most of us don't) is that when they're old enough and married/committed we won't ask about what they do with their partner if they promise not to ask us what we do with daddy/mommy. Every one has a sexual side that they choose to share with someone else and when we're mature enough, we have a right to keep that sexual side of us only between us and our partner because it's something private we share from the rest of the world.
Krystal , young and frugal little lady and very crunchy SAHmama to our two kiddos, DD (11/26/08) and intact DS (06/22/10)
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Old 07-05-2009, 05:24 PM   #9
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

Put on your best Mommy Mask and be as honest, straighforward, and matter-of-fact as you can manage.

My DD and I have had a running conversation for many years now. She knows heads and tails more than I did at twice her age, but she was ready for the information. Luckily, it's also lead to many talks about the emotional aspects of sex; a topic that's not as easy to broach as the facts of procreation.

The most important thing is not to act embarrassed. He'll be feeling embarrassed enough for you both, but you putting on a brave face will make him more comfortable and more likely to come to you with other important questions in the future.

One disclaimer that I always laid down with my DD is that these topics are private and personal and therefore should only be discussed at home with me, Daddy, or Grandma. (Mainly me, but the other two are open to talking to her, too. I wanted her to have options.) She's NEVER ever ever to talk about any of it with friends or people outside our family. (As a matter of fact, a friend announced a few days back that she was going to "teach" Calli about puberty. Calli told her, "No, thanks. I already know all about it and I don't need to talk about something like that with another kid anyway. Let's play in the water." The other girl probably wanted to talk about it because SHE just learned about it.)

Good luck!
-Kelli, single mama to 12 y/o Callista and 7 y/o Rickson.

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Old 07-08-2009, 03:02 PM   #10
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Re: How do you tell your 10 yrs old ...?

I am very honest and upfront with my children. I think it's important for kids to have the "correct" info. I don't want them to be told by someone who is misinformed.
But I am also a control freak so
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