Question for SAHM?

[Psychomom]

I used to feel that way when I only had 1-2 children. I kind of HAD to quit working after my second child was born. She is very spirited and she was such a high needs baby that we had 3 babysitters quit in 3 months (this was from the time she was 3-6 months old, as I took a maternity leave for the first 3 months of her life.) Dh said we couldn't put her in daycare because she was the type of baby people would abuse. He was kidding, but we knew she'd be placed in a crib to scream the majority of the day because a daycare worker just can't meet the needs of every single child at every single moment of the day. So the only option that made sense to us at the time was for me to stay home.

I always thought I'd go back to work, even though I enjoyed staying home. Then I had a third child and financially it didn't make sense to go back to work. Then we added a fourth child and my perspective now is that they grow up way too fast and I won't have the opportunity to be with them forever. I am so happy I never went back to work. My hope is that I can continue to be a SAHM until my kids graduate from high school.

ETA: I think subbing or finding something outside of your children for yourself is a great idea. For me, I play trumpet in a concert community band and I am a La Leche League leader. I also have quite a few opportunities to go hang out with friends. It really helps.

[ecwalke]

Oh, and your job is not to clean the house. Sure, it should be cleaned, but your job is to nurture and teach your children. At day care you would probably be upset if they just cleaned the building and ignored your kids all day. Sure, they keep it clean, but you would pay them to care for your kids. That is your job, too!

[Miles]

Mama if you feel like you need to get out and get a job do it! Im a SAHM been for a while but Im very happy being one. I love being one, now once Im done having kids plus they are grown up it maybe a different story.

[ktarsha]

I voted "once every few months," but in reality it's somewhere between that and "happens all the time" for me. Usually it's when 1) the house is a disaster and I'm too tired to clean it up and I feel like a complete failure as a mother/housekeeper/wife; or 2) when money is tight and we can't afford things that we could easily afford if we had two paychecks coming in.

However, I love having my days free to do whatever I feel like - stay home in pajamas all day, run errands when the stores are less crowded, work in the garden, have playdates with my niece and nephews, etc.

I'm planning to stay a SAHM at least until my son goes to school in two more years (we've talked about homeschooling, but for various reasons I'm thinking it's not going to be right for us). Then I'll probably look into part-time work, or see if my old company is hiring again.

[PipersMomma]

I know this is probably gonna sound bad but I seriously can NOT wait to get a job!! As much as I love being at home... i really do need a break from it all. Dh doesnt really get that either. I dont really wanna full time job or anything but something part time would be awesome so i totally know where your coming from. And we only have one debit cards and only one cc(for emergencys ONLY) and it would be nice to have my OWN cash and not have to ask DH for the debit card when i need something kwim?? I think if i got my wahm business outta my head and actually DID it I would be ok with that too but i just need SOMETHING ya know? Esp on days like this when my ODD is refusing to nap

FWIW, i would not put my kids in daycare just to have a job but thats just bc there are not any really great ones around where I live and I just dont trust them. But my mom doesnt work and she is more than willing to watch the kids while i work

[Computermama]

I would be perfectly fine being a SAHM, if it weren't for the money issue. But I could totally understand people who aren't satisfied to stay home - I have days when I wish my life had a quitting time to it. I personally never would have guessed that I could be content to stay home - I had absolutely no problem with people who did or could, but I never thought it would be for me.

[HeatherlovesCDs]

My oldest is 3.5 years old. So, it hasn't been that long for me, but we do also plan to homeschool. I voted "every few months," but really, it's not that often even. However, I have had that feeling, like I want to do more. Most recently, around last fall when my twins were still only about 9 months old, the feeling lasted a few weeks or a month or so. I really did some soul searching then. I realized for me and my family, staying home is my calling.

What I did start doing was getting out more. I "got a life" so to speak. I have since made friends through a MOPS group in my area and through my church. It has really, really helped. I might start getting involved in leadership in my MOPS group. I'm even planning to possibly do some "tag-team" home schooling.

Being a SAHM isn't for everyone, but before you give it up, you really need to search your heart and decide if this is what is best and if it's really what you want. Or, are you just feeling restless and maybe need to shake things up a bit a home. IMHO, if it's really what you want, pursue it, but give it a little time and search your heart before you do it.

[jujusmommy]

I answered "other". I don't feel disconnected, because I do try and touch base with at least one friend or family member daily. I don't spend all day cleaning, nor do I spend all day doing nothing. Now, my DSS comes to visit for the summer...and drives me CRAZY! He is severly ADHD and because of his mother has a ton of issues. My DH cannot take off the time to be home all week every week. Honestly, if they offered summer school around here, he would be in it! He loves to go to school and sometimes I think he misbehaves because he wants to go. And if we could afford to, he would be in daycare. Our daughter on the other hand does not have the same issues and she really is a sweetie to be around (except when she is learning off of him...) So I guess it depends...for me, I love being a SAHM. I will also add, my DH is military and we are stationed almost 5,000 miles from our family. Soooo, you have to learn to get out and have support around you, otherwise, yes, you will feel disconnected...even if you do work full time.

[jandk]

I voted other...
I LOVE being a SAHM and am so thankful that my hubby lets me stay at home and raise our kids every day... however, sometimes I get tired of not having a life outside of our little family!
I just wish there could be a job that both my husband and I could do that we could take turns at!! He could go to work one week, and I could do it the next! Then he wouldn't get tired of going to work every day, and I wouldn't be 'stuck' at home all the time!

[jac1976]

I voted "other" I completely understand how you feel. I was feeling that way last year. I talked to DH, and we came to the decision that I would get a part time job as long as it didn't make us lose money. I found a job as an educator at the local zoo. I have a very flexible schedule and work a couple of weekend days a month. The job is easily the best job I have ever had. I am happy and I feel like I am actually doing something for me.