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Old 07-08-2009, 04:13 PM   #21
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

the difference is your baby's not alone. she knows you're there trying to help, and she doesn't have to be more afraid while she's upset or feels bad because she's alone CIO.

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Old 07-09-2009, 08:54 AM   #22
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

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My sis had this same issue with her son and I said that she may not know the difference, he's crying with her or without but HE knows the difference. There's a big difference between me being upset and crying and lying in my bed all alone just wanting dh to hug me and me being upset and crying and having my dh hug and hold me. I might not cry less but those arms sure mean a lot. I can't imagine it's any different for a baby.
I completely agree.
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:15 AM   #23
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

A child crying in your arms for 2 hours is not going to be happier than a child crying in bed for 5 minutes and sleeping during those 2 hours that they would otherwise be crying, kwim? There seem to be comments implying that it's wrong to let a child fall asleep on their own. If the child is not traumatized by it, then what is the harm in allowing your child to grow and learn that it's ok to go to sleep when they're tired? I'm not talking about letting your child scream in their crib instead of holding them. I'm talking about a child who will fall asleep easier in bed than in your arms.
Every child is different. The general POV that "a baby is happier to fall asleep in mom's arms" does not apply to all babies.
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Old 07-09-2009, 11:40 AM   #24
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

I think that it's not so bad to let a baby cry alone (for short periods of time), once you've exhausted all other options.

Personally, I get tired of people and find "comforting" after a cetain point to be rather suffocating and oppressive. I like to go alone into a room and yell as loud as I want where no one will interrupt or bother me. I imagine a baby with a personality similar to mine might feel the same.

We don't let my DS cry for more than five or ten minutes. (He's only 6 months) Sometimes, though, when we've tried everything else and he's still screaming, it turns out that what he wants is a little bit of "alone time". Usually, he'll continue to cry for about five minutes after you put him in his crib, then he'll quiet down and play with his feet or watch his mobile or whatever. And, as a previous poster mentioned, it's obvious when "I'm in a bad mood" crying transitions to "I'm upset and I need something".

My baby get lots of loving, but it isn't so bad to give them personal space, too.
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Old 07-09-2009, 11:57 AM   #25
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

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when some of you are saying he "only" cried for 30 minutes, that sounds like a long time to me! I can't stand it when my baby cries for more than 5 minutes!
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:54 PM   #26
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

I'm so glad this thread is civil Great views ladies!
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:04 PM   #27
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

I am fortunate as my own two boys have been great AP sleepers with rarely an exception. But I have witnessed the 2 hour scream fest of a child being rocked & held & comforted by mom or dad. I feel for you! I feel for the kid. I say try something different because this isn't working. Later bedtime, co-sleep nursing to dreamland, short & sweet laying down in crib. Whatever. But change it because from what I have seen, wow, that is no fun & can't be good for anybody.
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:21 PM   #28
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)-UPDATE!

Update in red in post #1
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:35 PM   #29
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)

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Originally Posted by Naturally Pampered View Post
A child crying in your arms for 2 hours is not going to be happier than a child crying in bed for 5 minutes and sleeping during those 2 hours that they would otherwise be crying, kwim? There seem to be comments implying that it's wrong to let a child fall asleep on their own. If the child is not traumatized by it, then what is the harm in allowing your child to grow and learn that it's ok to go to sleep when they're tired? I'm not talking about letting your child scream in their crib instead of holding them. I'm talking about a child who will fall asleep easier in bed than in your arms.
Every child is different. The general POV that "a baby is happier to fall asleep in mom's arms" does not apply to all babies.
I just wanted to say that I totally agree with you on this. DD1 was like that. She'd fuss for maybe 5 minutes (fuss, not scream) or less and then be off in dreamland for the night. She NEEDED her space in her crib. She never wanted to be rocked to sleep or held to go to sleep. She was an amazing self soother from day 1 and I will admit that I was totally spoiled by her disposition! She was such an easy baby and being my first I was confused when people talked about how some babies are hard. I just didn't get what was so hard about it. Now I do. I've spent nearly 9 months trying to figure out what is wrong and exhausted nearly every option there is. I feel that we're getting somewhere (see update in post 1) now.

I have let DD2 cry in her crib for a few minutes. Once when I had enough and just had to walk outside for 5 or so minutes for my own sanity. Other times I've put her in her crib to cry when she was crying anyway and I needed a shower. When we moved here we took only what we absolutely needed so no bouncy seats or swings made it. Anyway, I put DD2 in her crib so I could shower cause I knew she was safe there. DD1 can't get to her there and try to feed her something she can't eat or give her a toy that's not age appropriate. I hated to just put her in there to cry, but I needed a shower darn it!
But, as a mom, you know their cries and I can tell you that her crying for those hours on end was not just a tired cry, it was a cry telling me she needed something and the last thing I needed was to walk out of the room!

Thank you to all those who took the time out to read all of this! I appreciate any and all support from all you mamas!
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:37 PM   #30
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Re: So what's the difference? (CIO related)-UPDATE!

Poor babe! So glad you figured it out!
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