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Old 05-27-2006, 12:15 AM   #1
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Is it me?

Did you ever feel like no matter what you do, it's not good enough? I feel like that with my DS. He's so difficult with his behavior probs for the past two years that has just been getting worse (I've posted about this before so I will spare you the details). I just feel like it's me that's causing him to be this way. I've read books upon books of how to deal with children like him and nothing seems to be working. I just want that sweet innocent boy back that I remember with the big grin on his face just before 2 years old. I want the laughter in the house again. The hugs "just because". I don't want the yelling back and forth with him. I don't want the constant meanness from him. Every time I look at that frown on his face that is always there, I just want to know where in the world my little boy went.

DH says it's me, my MIL says it's me, my own mother says it's me, my whole family. I get told how horrible I was by my family for working the first 3 years of his life (I was a single mom, I had no choice).

I'm trying really I am. But I feel like such a failure as a mother. I feel like I'm too strict or that I'm making him miserable. But I don't know how.

I'm sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest. You mamas are always so supportive. Thanks for letting me vent.

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Old 05-27-2006, 12:32 AM   #2
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Re: Is it me?

I'm sorry, just remind yourself your a wonderful mama, if your strict its only because you love him and want the best for him, this will pass and he'll be laughing and smiling again soon.
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Old 05-27-2006, 09:37 AM   #3
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Re: Is it me?

I remember that with my son too. I would always wish everyone could see the sweet happy boy I saw in those rare moments at home. I was told it was my fault too. THere were areas I needed to grow in but even as I grew, things got worse with him. All of the issues you described before could not be caused by you being a working mom unless all you ever did with him was beat and abuse him and then it still wouldn't have to do with you working but with the beating!!!!!!! I was a single mom until he was 5 and there were areas in my character that I did need to change but it wasn't all my fault. I believed it was all me for so long that I delayed getting him the help he really needed. He is 9 now and on medication for ADHD and the day he started it, it was like I had that child back. There are still behavioral issues and he is still a 9 year old boy that needs training in areas but it was like he was finally able to do all that good we had taught him. He would say "I try to do good but I can't". I never believed him before but now for the most part I now think he was right. Even his principal was amazed at the difference. She was the one who kept insisting that she didn;t think he could control himself and I thank God that she kept telling me so that I finally tried the medications. Even if there are areas that you aren't perfect, I firmly don't believe that you are the cause of all his behavior issues. You sound so much like me and I beat myself up for so long. I wish I lived by you so I could give you a big hug and hold your hand through this but you can talk to me anytime through here or e-mail. Stick with yur plan of going to your Ped and finding out about MH in your area.
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Old 05-27-2006, 01:15 PM   #4
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Re: Is it me?

Thanks mamas
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