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Old 08-20-2009, 03:09 PM   #1
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Please pray for my family

Hi Ladies,

I would appreciate it so much if you could pray for me and my DH. We have hit a rough patch in the road and I really need your prayers.

DH has been mostly out of work since before DD was born (9 mos.+) He gets random hours/days here and there but mostly unemployment checks. He is a carpenter so this is kind of the way it goes... but it is hard on a family.

I am struggling because I really want to be home with DD and it literally breaks my heart to put in her in daycare and work 40 hours a week but it is a necessity, especially now that DH is not working full time. I have always wanted to be a SAHM but we decided when I was pregnant, before DH lost his job, that I would need to keep working for a little while. We had hoped however, that his job would keep going strong and I would be able to leave my full time job and work from home or work part time.

The fact that I am working and he is not is starting to make me very resentful and bitter towards him. I am angry that he is not trying to find a new job and only applying for "dream" jobs in the field he wants to be in (videography) instead of just finding another construction job to pay the bills. He is upset with me as well because he feels that we are getting by ok on his unemployment and I should just be content with that. But it is killing me inside to drop DD off at daycare every morning and go to a job that is very stressful, where I am swore at, screamed at, or have my life (verbally) threatened (...and I do not exaggerate) all day long, when he barely has to go to work at all.

All of this has lead to a point where we argue all the time and I can barely be in the same room as him without wanting to break down and cry. I am having a very hard time respecting him as the head of the family and deeply resent being forced into the position of the only full time worker. I don't know how to change this so I have to give it to God and ask him to change my heart. I want to be a loving, understanding and patient wife to him but I am failing miserably.

Please pray for me and for my family. Please pray that either DH gets a new job or that the job he has starts having work for him again. Please pray for me that God will give me strength and patience and help me to let go of my anger and resentment. Thank you!

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Last edited by Imogen's_Mum; 08-20-2009 at 03:12 PM.
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Old 08-20-2009, 04:13 PM   #2
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Re: Please pray for my family

Oh, mama... I know (mostly) how you feel, and it sucks so much, and I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way!

My DH has been out of work for the most part (a few months here and there he worked) since DD was born in October 07. I still stay at home, we don't need for me to go to work yet (and I am so thankful for that), but I know all too well all the emotions you describe. I find that I don't respect my husband as the head of our family, we argue more than we used to - we are both here in the house ALL DAY LONG and we have a lot of $ problems to argue about. I am so resentful that he isn't going to work, and I am jealous of friends and family members whose husbands still have jobs. Oh, it sucks and hurts to even admit these things!

My DH is also in the trades (plumber), he's in a union and they just have no work for anyone. We are losing our health insurance in a month - that alone keeps me up at night. Ugh. I could go on and on.

Not trying to hijack, mama, but I know how you feel, and I know how frustrating it can be. I hope things turn around for you guys soon.

Can your husband watch your DD while he isn't working, to save on the cost of daycare, and lessen your guilt over leaving her?? I worked 2 months this past spring on a temporary job (US Census), and DH just watched DD. He didn't like it, but they both survived.
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Old 08-20-2009, 04:14 PM   #3
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Re: Please pray for my family

I am sorry to hear about this mama! I will be praying for you.
I had to work when my little guy was a baby, when I got pregnant for the second time we decided it was time for me to stay home and I have been home ever since, I know how hard it is to leave your baby so I am praying for you!!
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Old 09-05-2009, 03:02 PM   #4
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Re: Please pray for my family

Oh mama, I UNDERSTAND FULLY! Just remember that Proverbs 31 tells us that the woman works hard and her husband praises her. Resentment is not what God wants in your heart but the pleasure of knowing that you are caring for your familiy and loving your God with all your heart.

When I went to work because DH was fired it became unbearable at times leaving when my babies were eating their breakfast and thinking about all that I was missing out on. Then I had to realize that it was the same for DH and that this was my opprotunity to minister to him by him being allowed to experience the beauties of being with our children. He is able to bring new light and perspective to parenting allowing our children to learn from him and not jsut myself.\
\

I guess I didn't read your post completely...I would NOT drop the kiddo off at DD I would make him keep them and save the $$ Man I am sorry for writing all this with out knowign the whole story..

I will pray that you have peace and contentment and that this opprotunity for your Dh is memorable for him because it won't last!
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Old 09-05-2009, 03:04 PM   #5
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Re: Please pray for my family

We've been through a similar situation and I will definitely add you to our ever-growing prayer list.
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Old 09-08-2009, 10:44 AM   #6
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Re: Please pray for my family

Quote:
Originally Posted by ctj101502 View Post
Oh mama, I UNDERSTAND FULLY! Just remember that Proverbs 31 tells us that the woman works hard and her husband praises her. Resentment is not what God wants in your heart but the pleasure of knowing that you are caring for your familiy and loving your God with all your heart.

Thank you so much mama, you really hit right on the struggle there! I really appreciate the words and the reminder about Proverbs 31...rereading that one tonight!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ctj101502 View Post
I guess I didn't read your post completely...I would NOT drop the kiddo off at DD I would make him keep them and save the $$ Man I am sorry for writing all this with out knowign the whole story..
It's okay! EVERYONE misses that. It isnt as bad as it sounds. Because DH is a carpenter he has work here and there and only knows the morning of whether he works or not. Maintaining Day Care enrollment is a must because on any given day he MIGHT have work and if he turns a day down because DD doesn't have a Day Care to go to he will lose his unemployment benefits for the whole WEEK. We are looking for a Day Care where we can "drop in" as needed but havent found one yet. So for now we have to pay whether DD goes or not....so she goes. He has started using the time to more actively look for jobs and complete video projects (for free now but could make money in the future).

Thanks for the prayers!
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Old 09-13-2009, 02:48 PM   #7
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Re: Please pray for my family

I'm sending prayers your way. I can only imagine how hard this must be on you
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