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Old 09-09-2009, 12:32 PM   #11
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

So what are the other creepy things? Is this her first grandbaby??

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Old 09-09-2009, 12:48 PM   #12
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

In my experience, moms and MILs are supposed to throw YOU a shower, and YOU are the one who gets all the nice, new stuff. My mom and MIL bought some used stuff (pack-n-plays, garage sale and 2nd-hand clothes, a few toys) to have on-hand at their house to use, which I thought was just fine. I would feel REALLY strange about MIL (or my mom) having a shower for herself. I get upset when she even suggests that DD looks like her. But that's just me. I'm actually quite blessed to have a wonderful MIL.

Bottom line, if I were you, I would (or have DH) talk to MIL and tell her what she's doing is hurtful to you, and it undermines your relationship with YOUR child. Let her know you will have everything she needs for when baby visits (IF you let baby visit). If she feels she needs some supplies at her home, she can buy them herself. That's what grandparents do. I would definitely talk w/DH about it beforehand, and make sure you are both on the same page.
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:05 PM   #13
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

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Originally Posted by dramaqueenapril View Post
This grandma baby shower is the worst in a long line of creepy things that she has done to act like it is her child.

I think you got it right there! It's not HER baby and she needs to realize that!! Tell her you'll not be going, to have a nice time, but there is no need for her to have things, and you'd rather YOUR baby uses YOUR own things.
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:23 PM   #14
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

Well, she started out with calling the baby hers every time she had friends over. Then she got some onesies that she originally talked about giving us and then decided to keep. then she brought out all of my husband's old baby stuff.( That's when I started joking about her making a nursery at her house). Then she got a crib and made the baby a nursery by clearing out her husband's office. Then she started walking around humming lullabies. Now the grandma baby shower!!
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:31 PM   #15
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

I would def be ticked! if they wanna spend money on your baby, why not spend the money and give the stuff to you, the person who really needs baby stuff!
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Old 09-09-2009, 02:51 PM   #16
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

My mom does that from time to time with my dd (she's 4), calling dd "hers" and it drives me crazy!
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Old 09-09-2009, 03:00 PM   #17
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

Wouldn't fly with me. Our dd just spent her first night at grandma's this last weekend and she's two, so if my MIL or Mom did that it just would be a waste, but I don't know if you plan to let her watch the baby a lot or what your situation is there.
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Old 09-09-2009, 03:18 PM   #18
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

No I don't plan on letting her watch the baby a lot. I was thinking that two would be the youngest I would want my daughter staying away over night. Also, I plan on staying at home so I won't need a babysitter during the day either!
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Old 09-09-2009, 03:36 PM   #19
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

Wow, the whole situation sounds pretty creepy to me. Is she throwing the shower for herself? Or does she have some crazy friend in on it too? Either way, it's weird.

I agree with the suggestions that you or DH talk to her and establish some boundaries/ground rules when it comes to the baby. I suspect the situation will only get worse unless something is said. Or you can take the approach I took and move 3000 miles away from your family. Worked like a charm.
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Old 09-09-2009, 04:19 PM   #20
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Re: Grandma Baby Shower?!? Good, Bad, Crazy!

Maybe you should have a chat and avoid her for a while. Let her know if she's going to be all creepy and controling and try to make this about her, maybe she wont see much of you and baby when born. All I know is you can't let her start calling the shots and minipulating you now or it will be worse later. Playing you and DH against each other, butting into parenting decisions.....blahhhhhh. So sorry you have this to deal with.
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