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Old 09-09-2009, 07:41 PM   #1
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spoiled children?

I guess this is more about me mulling over my thoughts and wondering how other mamas relate. DD is about 8 months old, and yes, she has a lot of stuff. I was given quite a bit of it, but I keep it just in case. She does only have one box of toys, and she gets one or two out at time. She has larger toys like a rocking horse that she loves, a walker which is mostly for traveling somewhere since it has toys on it and is foldable, and some floor toys. She has a lot of clothes as well. Looking at everything in her closet, she has a lot. My family and friends joke that she is spoiled. I know it's joking in these cases because they also comment on how sweet she is and are known to spoil her themselves.

She's always been very good natured and tempered from birth, she does share, and she has a routine that works for her. But I often hear of kids being overwhelmed from having too much stuff, etc and I wonder if my enjoyment of buying her things is actually a negative? Do you think your children have a lot, and if they do do you think it affects them negatively? What makes a spoiled child, I wonder?


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Old 09-09-2009, 08:03 PM   #2
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Re: spoiled children?

I think lack of discipline and respect makes a child "spoiled." Or ones that feel entitled. Does that make sense?

My DD is 25.5 months old and is often called "spoiled," b/c of the amount of clothing she has... or the toys, space... whatever.

She is very well-mannered, sweet, kind, caring, considerate and respectful. Yes, she has her moments, but ALL children do.

I get really irritated by the "she's spoiled" remarks, because she's not.
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Old 09-09-2009, 08:27 PM   #3
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Re: spoiled children?

I agree with pp, that's it's a sense of entitlement and lack of discipline. But I would expand that to include that telling your child no is NOT a bad thing.

I know someone who has one 8 yo...she talks back, is wickedly rude, refuses to eat certain foods, and has more toys that freakin toys r us. She came to our house and stole something from my daughter (a webkinz code that allowed her to change ds password) I was LIVID...and the punishment no where near equalled the crime. I think SHE will have issues as she gets older.

There are times I want to smack this child. (isn't that terrible?) For speaking to her parents like they're dirt under her feet, for demanding toys, clothes, etc, for making her mother a short order cook...and I would love to smack some sense into both parents as well and tell them to discipline their child and take control.

I don't think your child having more or a lot will ruin her. It's what you teach her about what she has - it's a gift, it's not an entitlement, she's more fortunate than others and should be thankful...etc, etc.
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Old 09-09-2009, 08:33 PM   #4
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Re: spoiled children?

I agree w/ Tiffany. Spoiled is an attitude. A child who has very little toys/space can still be spoiled if he's a PITA and has "entitlement" issues.
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:10 PM   #5
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Re: spoiled children?

one person has called my daughter spoiled ever. She has lots of stuff but we always shop clearance and thrift stores (for clothes and toys). Shes not the kid you see freaking out in the toy aisle bc she wants something. She can go to the store and look at all the stuff and still not act like shes entitled to getting something. She is very polite and opens doors for people and helps others out (my mom and her friend are handicapped and she is a HUGE help) I HATE when others think she is spoiled... she has her bratty moments but shes 4 and I expect that but she gets things only bc she deserves them (and bc she likes the sale racks lol).... I agree spoiled is an attitude
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Old 09-10-2009, 07:41 AM   #6
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Re: spoiled children?

Well, I think as kids get older, it's good to limit their "stuff". I do think a child can become materially spoiled if they get every little toy they look at or ask for.

But, that is awhile down the road for you. I don't think an 8 month old even understands what is "hers" and what isn't. That's why she "shares". Now that's not to say that she will grow into a child who learns to share nicely, but right now she doesn't understand the concept of "mine" very well so she doesn't care if others play with her things.

My son is 2.5 and has a lot of toys. I personally have bought probably 1-5% of them. The rest have been gifts, and MANY are things my mom has picked up for him at thrift stores. I still don't think he is old enough to be materially spoiled. The past couple of weeks, we have been moving to a new house, and right now most of his toys are at the new house while we are still at the old house. I don't think he has even noticed. As he gets older I will start to watch how much "stuff" he has because I don't want him to develop a sense of entitlement.

Right now your baby would be happy with a thrift-store tee-shirt and an empty box to play with. That doesn't mean you shouldn't buy her things, especially if you enjoy it. My point is just that you can't materially spoil her right now because she just doesn't "get" it. So, have fun buying things for her. Just my
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Old 09-10-2009, 08:19 AM   #7
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Re: spoiled children?

I agree. Spoiled is an attitude.

I have limited my childrens belongs for many different reasons but children can still own many things and not be spoiled
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Old 09-10-2009, 04:49 PM   #8
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Re: spoiled children?

I wonder what that term even means. My grandmother told me that ds was spoiled when he was 8 weeks old because he liked to be walked when he was fussy. I figure you can't ever give a child too much love and attention, and as long as you do that than who cares what anyone else thinks!
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:05 PM   #9
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Re: spoiled children?

DD has lots of clothes..but being all second hand they really cost a fraction of what they would have new. She has too many toys..IMO but really not that many. I haven't bought her very many and if I did they were small things from yard sales. I don't think she is spoiled because she has no idea how many clothes she has..or toys. Heck..she plays with anything you give her. Is she spoiled..nope. She sounds just like your DD..very well tempered and just a real happy baby!
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Old 09-10-2009, 10:56 PM   #10
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Re: spoiled children?

A sense of entitlement and complete lack of gratitude can be traits that anyone can matter what income level or situation in life.

Sounds like your baby is very luck to have so many people to "spoil" her.
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