Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-19-2009, 06:15 PM   #21
mbillitto's Avatar
mbillitto
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 72
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Thank you so much for your post Erin. In the 9 years of TTC, the 2 children we have were the results of IVFs after years of trying both times. I HATE when people with kids who are TTC again tell me that because they have been TTC for a couple months they understand my struggle. Um sorry hunnys but no you don't.

Advertisement

__________________
Michelle SAHM to Andrew 1/05 and Brooke 1/08, co sleeping, babywearing, and CDing.
mbillitto is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2009, 08:50 PM   #22
mommy2kaitlyn's Avatar
mommy2kaitlyn
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Western South Dakota
Posts: 16,111
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Your post is so dead on to my feelings!
I have PCOS. I tried for 2 mos shy of 4 years with 2 losses to get my daughter, a clomid baby.
I am an only child because of PCOS also..my mom has it to.
You are so right about wanting another child being so strong, my dd asks often for a sibling even at age 6 almost 7!
I have often wondered why i have been blessed with many pregnancies but not carried any but one to term. It is very hard and emotional to want a child so bad.
I hate when people say but you have a child. Yes i do and I am very blessed with that child. I want her to be blessed with a sibling that she do dearly wants. And I would love to welcome another child into my life.
__________________
Proud Single Mommy of: 1 & 9 angels in heaven. Swags
I will not change my belief's, actions, parenting style, etc just because it offends you! I won't be offended by your belief's, actions, parenting style, etc either. ISO Goodnites Coupons
mommy2kaitlyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2009, 09:12 PM   #23
kt~mommy's Avatar
kt~mommy
Registered Users
Formerly: ben***katieh
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,291
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

yay for this getting stickied so needed!
__________________
Mommy to my charming and funny little man Oliver (2007)
and after years of waiting, overjoyed to welcome my new little lady Ava (January 2014)
kt~mommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-2009, 07:01 PM   #24
Revy's Avatar
Revy
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 577
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Thanks for this extremely helpful post and more so for making this a sticky! Definitely something every woman, regardless of fertility status, should read.

Hands down to you mama!
__________________
Naturally for Her is the first company dedicated in providing the best organic and natural fertility management options like Lady-Comp and the Today Sponge FREE SHIPPING in the US! FREE 1 BOX of Natacare 100% Organic products in every purchase of Lady-Comp!
Revy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2009, 06:37 PM   #25
KimA's Avatar
KimA
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 6,979
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

While I may not know the exact emotions that you share I do understand a lot of those emotions that infertile people go through. I am a surrogate. I am currently waiting to take a blood test to see if I am pregnant. It's a week away and it's agonizing even though this is not my child. I watched as my intended parents sat on the edge of their seats last week waiting for the fertility doctor to tell them how many embryos were good enough to transfer, only 2 were and 10 were not. It's heart breaking. If these embryos don't stick they have no more and have to start at the beginning.
I have been introduced by my own choice to the roller coaster of infertility and I get where you are coming from.
Big hugs to all of you and keep at it, never give up!
__________________
Wife to A mama to DS (96) DD (07), proud surro mom (10), & DD (12)
Missing my younger sister Ashley RIP 7/26/07 and our Booda RIP 5/3/09 everyday
NH's only dedicated cloth diaper retail store! All of our in stock diapers are prepped! www.petitebottoms.com
KimA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2009, 12:11 AM   #26
justlindsay's Avatar
justlindsay
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,008
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Thank you for posting this. I am nearly in tears reading it, I am choking them back. We have been TTCing since 05/07, nearly 2.5 yrs now. I didnt have infertility until this time around, and while I have a better respect for my childrens life and I understand the true miracles they are now, I still hurt just as deep inside. Not to mention, the pregnancy that I was blessed with during this rocky road, I lost due to an ectopic pregancy. I watched my hopes, dreams and years of TTCing flush out of my body and down the toilet. The hardest moment of my life thus far. Im sorry that sound so harsh but that is how I feel.

I put the pain in the back of my life, back of mind. I try to make it go away. I hate bringing it up. My feelings started with confusion, and than progressed to hurt and than anger with hurt on the side. I dont "get" it. I used to be able to talk about it without bursting into tears but after 2.5 yrs, that just doesnt happen anymore. I cant talk or think about my infertility without deep hurt and crying. I hate it.

Anyways, I am so so sad that anyone else is going through this but I am so happy that someone else understands because no one in my life does. No one has been through this. And the hateful and depressed thoughts I have now are hard to handle. I dont want to think them or feel them.

Anyways, Thank you for posting this. *hugs*
__________________
Lindsay, Wife to Jimmy , Mama to Braedon (8y) & Makenzie (6.5y) and sweet nephew Chris who lives with us (15y).
Lovin' My Job Rainbow Waters

Last edited by justlindsay; 10-21-2009 at 12:19 AM.
justlindsay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2009, 12:22 AM   #27
justlindsay's Avatar
justlindsay
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,008
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

I just wanted to add, that I also cant handle peoples remarks in regards to my infertility so I just dont bring it up anymore. I recently brought it up when asked to some friends of mine that has children in my sons classroom and the remarks I got that people thought would be comforting made me wanna vomit, cry and crawl in a whole. People have NO idea what to say I think, and than the things they do choose to say are so hurtful even though they mean it with kindness. I just would rather keep it to myself and close friends because of this, so we also have not told family and only a select few close friends.
__________________
Lindsay, Wife to Jimmy , Mama to Braedon (8y) & Makenzie (6.5y) and sweet nephew Chris who lives with us (15y).
Lovin' My Job Rainbow Waters
justlindsay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2009, 07:31 PM   #28
Melmonkey's Avatar
Melmonkey
Creator Of The Pixie Skirtie<br>www.hyenacart.com/Melmonkeyszoo
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,724
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

This was posted on the JTC thread, and it is so needed here in the stickied thread!

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother:
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

~Author Unknown
__________________
After a bumpy road of infertility, 6 years of procedures,CLAIRE IS 2!!!!!!! missing our angel(9/5/12)
BF for 18 months, BLW, AP,don't believe in any schedule and became a slave to my baby who is attached to my boob and am tickled pink to be that way. Yes, I shower daily!
Melmonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 08:36 PM   #29
kt~mommy's Avatar
kt~mommy
Registered Users
Formerly: ben***katieh
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,291
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

wow, melissa, that was so powerful. so true that the heartache that comes with infertility develops a keen sense of value and perspective mamas who don't struggle don't have. cheers to we future awesome mommies.
__________________
Mommy to my charming and funny little man Oliver (2007)
and after years of waiting, overjoyed to welcome my new little lady Ava (January 2014)
kt~mommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2009, 09:14 PM   #30
meeshkasheeba
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,995
My Mood:
Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

I absolutely LOVE this. I have terrible endo that has not been easy to control for us and although we now have two beautiful boys, they did not come easy and the second did not come without lots of medical help. This explains how I felt when I was going through all of the medical BS. I feel blessed to have my children and at times even feel bad to have them because of the wonderful friends I have who are still battling with infertility. You ladies still have my daily prayers for you.
__________________
Don't drink the koolaid
meeshkasheeba is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.