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Old 12-20-2009, 05:26 PM   #31
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

That was a good read!

I never felt any of those things. I had one good cry when I realized that we weren't going to get pregnant again and then said "okay, onto foster parenting" and that's what we did. Then right after we got our license (which took about a year and a half) I got pregnant again. Now I've had two sons die- again, none of those feelings you have so beautifully and helpfully described for us.

I have a hard time relating to other women who have fertility issues and because of it I sometimes lack the compassion that I want to have but fail miserably to achieve.

I'm one of those obnoxiously overdone optimistic people, you know?

Thank you for this- it was truly very helpful for me. I'm in the same boat and yet I feel like Luna Lovegood- I just don't quite fit in.

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Old 02-13-2010, 10:39 PM   #32
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

This is really great. It is PRECISELY what I felt before we conceived DD...and the thing that made me the angriest was when people would say "It will happen when God wants it to happen". I'm a Christian and I believe in the power of prayer, but to be quite honest, if I had just waited until God decided it was time, chances are nothing would have come from that. It always made me feel that doing anything other then waiting for God to perform a miracle on my messed up ovaries meant that I was going against His will. I know it's not what people meant, but that's how I felt.
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Old 04-30-2010, 08:50 AM   #33
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Thank you! I was over here checking out the TTC thread- as we're THINKING about trying for a dc2. After ttc for over 2 years and having several friends and family members get pregnant in that time- I felt like I was a failure- that the only thing I wanted and needed was never going to happen for me. I finally found an amazing PCP and when I explained that dh and I had been ttc for a long time- she did a US on me and found many cysts- and diagnosed me with PCOS- gave me a perscription which I started in Feb 08 and ended up getting pregnant LMP-JULY 28, 2008. I now have Mirena in place but we're talking about getting it out on the 4th (my next annual) and going from there to see IF we can do it on our own or if I'll need to take meds again- and if I do we won't be ttc for years before we realize that it's not "JUST US"
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Old 07-22-2010, 09:13 AM   #34
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

I'm very new here but just wanted to post and say I'm in tears after reading that.

I've only been TTC for just over a year, but already I've had major surgery and in the last month 2 new problems have been discovered. At the moment, it is impossible for me to conceive. Even if we are able to move past the current problems, my doctors keep warning us that this will be an uphill battle all the way. I'm 37, my husband 42, so time is running out for us.
My husband and I don't talk about it much (well, I try to talk and he just sits there silent, staring straight ahead). I've never been brave enough to try to talk about how I really feel with anyone else. I'm just so emotional after reading it--that someone else knows how I feel. I feel indeed very betrayed by my body.
All 10 siblings on both sides of our families have children that they conceived with no difficulty (or decided they didn't want a family). They keep telling me how easy it is. My sisters say I'm so caring and motherly--I'm surely the most fertile of any of us. As if being a good potential mother automatically makes my body work. And of course everyone tries to downplay the "what if we don't ever conceive" by saying "children aren't everything" or "you can just adopt" or my fav "have you ever considered that you just want kids this badly because you can't have them?". I hate when they say that. As if having a child of our own is some passing fancy that I should be able to just get over if it never happens. I've never wanted something so much in my entire life. I spent the last 20+ years trying to not get pregnant and now I can't. I'm scared to the depth of my being about what will happen if I never conceive. Will it consume me? Will it devastate me beyond recovery? Will I ever be whole and happy again? Will any of my family, friends or even my husband ever understand how the loss has impacted me?
I'm looking forward to reading many more posts from women who have been on this journey much longer than I. Women who know how I feel inside and why the comments from well-meaning loved ones can hurt so much. I'm so very glad I found this forum. I'm no longer alone.
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Old 07-22-2010, 01:01 PM   #35
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

I haven't been reading this forum for a few months, because I have just been exhausted by the years of infertility. There is so much about this thread that I can relate to.....the hurt, loss, loneliness, anger, resentment. But mostly, I am so glad to hear someone else voice emotions that I feel so strongly but have no one to voice them to. Thank you so much. It helps to be understood.
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Old 09-21-2010, 12:08 PM   #36
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Thanks for sharing this. We tried to conceive for 16 months before getting pregnant. We have been trying to get pregnant for about 15 months now and still no baby. It is incredibly painful to go through. I feel SO VERY ALONE. Nobody can understand what we go through.

Also, if you want to get pregnant, just hang out with me for a while. Everyone around me gets pregnant very quickly. LOL

There are supposedly tons of people out there that are experiencing infertility, but where are they? Sometimes I feel like I am the only person in Kansas that is infertile!

Sorry for my little rant. You ladies are wonderful, and I am so privileged to speak with you.
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Old 11-28-2010, 12:42 AM   #37
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Thank you for this. It explains exactly how I feel. Even my own mom has told me to be grateful for the two kids I have. I am so grateful for them, but it doesn't make me want a third any less.
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Old 01-09-2011, 03:30 PM   #38
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Thank you so much for saying all the things that I have felt and never known how to put into words. I read this to my husband and now he is more aware of how I feel! We have been TTC for almost 3 years now, with no real success. We have been to all the experts, gone through all the tests and the only answers that we got in the begining was that they didn't know and here are some fertilty drugs that will work for you. Upon consulting another specialist we were told that I would need to undergo even more tests as he saw that they didn't test me for everything. I just found out that I have PCOS and that there is a way to treat me that may in fact make my infertilty subside. But before they would perscribe the meds that I needed I was required to see a high risk OB to get "permission". It's strange to me how I need someone to tell me that it is ok for me to get pregnant as I am a married adult, yet my niece at 15 is capable of acheiving pregnacy the first time that she has sex.

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Old 01-09-2011, 06:02 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eeyore_143 View Post
Thank you so much for saying all the things that I have felt and never known how to put into words. I read this to my husband and now he is more aware of how I feel! We have been TTC for almost 3 years now, with no real success. We have been to all the experts, gone through all the tests and the only answers that we got in the begining was that they didn't know and here are some fertilty drugs that will work for you. Upon consulting another specialist we were told that I would need to undergo even more tests as he saw that they didn't test me for everything. I just found out that I have PCOS and that there is a way to treat me that may in fact make my infertilty subside. But before they would perscribe the meds that I needed I was required to see a high risk OB to get "permission". It's strange to me how I need someone to tell me that it is ok for me to get pregnant as I am a married adult, yet my niece at 15 is capable of acheiving pregnacy the first time that she has sex.
Yeah I know exactly how you feel! I hope that you get your BFP soon and have a little one to hold in your arms
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Old 01-09-2011, 11:12 PM   #40
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Re: What We Wish You Knew About Infertility

Quote:
Originally Posted by eeyore_143 View Post
Thank you so much for saying all the things that I have felt and never known how to put into words. I read this to my husband and now he is more aware of how I feel! We have been TTC for almost 3 years now, with no real success. We have been to all the experts, gone through all the tests and the only answers that we got in the begining was that they didn't know and here are some fertilty drugs that will work for you. Upon consulting another specialist we were told that I would need to undergo even more tests as he saw that they didn't test me for everything. I just found out that I have PCOS and that there is a way to treat me that may in fact make my infertilty subside. But before they would perscribe the meds that I needed I was required to see a high risk OB to get "permission". It's strange to me how I need someone to tell me that it is ok for me to get pregnant as I am a married adult, yet my niece at 15 is capable of acheiving pregnacy the first time that she has sex.
Awww, sweetie, I know your struggle all to well. We tried for over 6 years and I have a sleeping princess I gave birth to this past September. If you ever need to chat/vent, please feel free to PM me and I will chat with ya any time you need it.

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! It will happen!
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