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Old 09-23-2009, 12:51 PM   #1
sheenamc
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Age gap between your children?

DH and I have been talking about number 2 already. We are not TTC yet and to be honest I wanted to wait until DD was at least close to 2 before trying again. I thought he would be on the same page and that would keep my baby fever in check but it seems he is getting baby fever too! So here I am wondering about age gaps and what would be best for our family. I am an attached mom to a 15 month old who is still breast fed, (I have only had AF once so I am not even fertile yet most likely) I am thinking that if we do deicide to stop trying not to have a baby it won't be until after xmas.
What is the age gap in your family between children, would you have changed anything if you could go back?

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Old 09-23-2009, 01:00 PM   #2
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Re: Age gap between your children?

I only have one child currently.

My daughter turned 2 on July 20th and we're TTC #2 in November of this year (I think), which means, if I conceive right away (I sincerely doubt that I do since it took a few cycles to conceive DD), then DD would be just over 3 years old when LO #2 is born.

IMO - based on talking to people who have multiple children - 3 to 4 years is "best."

I just knew I didn't want two babies (two under 2) at the same time or any of that.

My sister and I are 14 months apart. We did not get along through childhood and don't get along that well in adulthood either (we don't argue or disagree anymore - we just don't keep in touch). We were never able to be individuals, b/c we were so close in age that everything overlapped. That probably doesn't make sense and I'm sure "many" people here will disagree, but that is MY take on it.

My cousin has three kids - a 7 y/o girl, 4 y/o boy and a 5 m/o boy. She says their age differences are "perfect" My other cousin has an 8.5 y/o boy, almost 5 y/o girl and a 19 m/o boy. Again, they say the age differences are "perfect."

My best friend and his wife also have three children - a 8 y/o boy, 5.5 y/o boy and a 7 w/o boy and they think that the youngest and the middle's age gap is a little far apart, but that the oldest and the middle's age gap are too close together (they're almost 3 years apart).
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:05 PM   #3
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Re: Age gap between your children?

My older 2 are 18 months apart. It was the perfect age! They are best friends, get along great & definitely are individuals.

DD and my youngest are a little over 3yrs apart. It is a good gap too because the older ones are old enough to understand DS2 is a baby and what not.

I wouldn't change either.
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:13 PM   #4
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Re: Age gap between your children?

My son was 2 yrs, 10 mos when my daughter was born. It was very hard at first but now that I've figured out how to take care of both of them and it's fine. Obviously I wouldn't change anything but I think if we have another kiddo we will go closer to a 4 yr age difference btw the babe and the middle child.
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:18 PM   #5
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Re: Age gap between your children?

I would guess you're fertile! I don't know much about it, but many people have gotten pg BEFORE af has even shown up again, I've heard that nursing isn't really a "reliable" method of bc after about 6mo. (and "reliable" is used very loosely.) Maybe if your 15mo wasn't eating solids AT ALL... but even then.... if you're trying to prevent a pregnancy, I wouldn't rely on nursing now.

as for us, there are 4 years between DSS and DSD and 2 years between DSD and DD. Because they have two different moms "people" were horrified that the girls were so close together - but I think it's good. I think it really depends on the dynamics you want for your family. I wanted the girls to be good friends and that can be hard when there's a big gap in age. Especially living at different houses... tho I know they might end up being worst enemies because they're close!

I think the gap between DSS and the DSD is too big. But that's just me. They don't really play together. DSS just bosses DSD around because he's older and "knows better" etc. Tho that can depend on parenting styles, too... But they just don't have much in common. (also do to gender, perhaps)

There's 8 years between me and my sis. and she says she'll NEVER do that to her kids! I don't think it's that bad...but we're not best buddies, either. We never fight and we get along great, but there's always that age gap. and my feeling like I have the be the good example, etc. (also due to the way we were parented!)

Mom always says she had 2 "only" children. - which she loved! So if that's what you want for your family, perfect! I was always helping out with my sis and doing things with and for her as a baby - it seemed as though she had three parents sometimes.

DSS tends to try and "parent" DD a bit too, and he's 6 yrs older.

There's a recent thread on here about having kids close together - and LOTS of people said it worked really well for them and that the kids are best friends.

GL!
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:20 PM   #6
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Re: Age gap between your children?

Mine are 18 months apart, 14 months apart, and will be 22 months apart.

The 14 month spacing was the hardest. Partially because DD2 was still very much a baby, and partially because she is/was "special needs" - she didn't even start walking until she was 22 months, has had a lot of issues with solid foods, talked late - so for a while I felt like a "twin" mommy of sorts.

However, I'm more nervous about the 22 month spacing, because DS is more aware of what is going on than the others were, being older, and is also very attached to me...
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:21 PM   #7
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Re: Age gap between your children?

I am the poster woman for "Exclusively breastfeeding with no return of Aunt Flo" CAN STILL ALLOW YOU TO GET PREGNANT lol! Adam is 4, his sister is almost 3 (15 months apart) and Jacob is almost 2. Jacob and my daughter are exactly a year and a day apart! He was a HUGE surprise but a wonderful one!!! So, my children were born in 2007, 2006, and 2005!
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:25 PM   #8
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Re: Age gap between your children?

My oldest two are only 16 months apart (I got pregnant with my middle child 6 months after oldest was born and hadn't even had AF yet). It was tough in the beginning with having my oldest in the explorative stage while my baby was in the needing mommy every 45min-1 hour stage. But after the first 3 or 4 months I fell into a good routine and it worked out well. Those two are the best of friends and do everything they can together! They play well with others also but with only play if they are both included. It's really cute to watch them together.

Now my baby is 3 months and my middle child is 5 years...so the oldest two have become the big helpers and they love telling everyone about their new baby brother. So for now the age gap is working..I'm sure we'll have problems later when baby wants to play with their toys and such though.
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:34 PM   #9
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Re: Age gap between your children?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Birbitt View Post
I'm sure we'll have problems later when baby wants to play with their toys and such though.
!! This was us! DSS would want to play with things with small pieces, or set things up and have them be there when he returned! (not too much to ask, right?!) Well DD just couldn't have that!! She wanted to be in e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. of his! (nowhere was safe, she could climb like a monkey!) It's getting better now that she's a little older and understands more, but yeah - oof!
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:46 PM   #10
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Re: Age gap between your children?

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Originally Posted by Sakari View Post

There's a recent thread on here about having kids close together - and LOTS of people said it worked really well for them and that the kids are best friends.

GL!
i looked and couldn't find it, do you know where it is? thanks
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