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Old 09-24-2009, 02:12 PM   #11
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

can you hire someone to mow while you're pregnant?
you do a lot mama. much more than me

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Old 09-24-2009, 02:12 PM   #12
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

I do the majority of the inside work- basically all of the cooking, dishes, and laundry. However, DH does help with cleaning, but that's because he's a crazy cleaner, not because I ask him to. He also does most of the outside work, although the garden is pretty much my domain. When he's at home, we split parenting duties pretty evenly. For the most part, I think we have a pretty even split. Also, although I would say I'm a SAHM I do work a few afternoons a week and am going to start watching a baby.

ETA: I'm also in charge of garbage, recycling, composting, bill-paying (although he balances our checkbook- it keeps is both involved in that area)...and possibly other things? And DH is definitely in charge of home/car maintenance.
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Old 09-24-2009, 02:16 PM   #13
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

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Originally Posted by amphibology29 View Post
We have a general rule that once DH is home and relaxing, I do too. Dinner dishes wait until morning, and we spend the evenings as a family together. Then on the weekends we take one day off to just do family stuff, and then the other day is spent with both of us doing things around the house; takes less time and energy with two working! DH usually mows the lawn but I enjoy doing outside work so sometimes I'll do it if I have time, he takes out the trash on trash-day morning when he's on his way out the door to work, and he does his own laundry since his work clothes require special attention. I recognize that he works long hard days away from home, and he recognizes that I work long hard days at home. Being more lax about the housework waiting until morning, and taking one weekend day off have helped a lot with feeling like there's no time to just relax and rest.
Same here DH actually reminds me to rest when he is home too

I do NOT mow. We have a 12 year old to do that
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Old 09-24-2009, 02:21 PM   #14
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

Inside stuff is my job....outside stuff is dh's job. We share dish duty quite often and take turns bathing the kids. Bedtime is dh's.

I own my own company, I drive school bus and I am a wahm. I put in about 14 hours a day with all my jobs....so i feel like I work enough to ask for help when I need it.

If I were you I'd tell hubby mowing can now be his thing....and whenever you need a break ask for help....being pregnant is a job in itself.
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Old 09-24-2009, 02:24 PM   #15
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

I don't mow, take out garbage or pay bills. I do everything else (take care of kids, doctors appts., school work, baking, cooking, meal planning, cleaning, shopping).
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Old 09-24-2009, 03:13 PM   #16
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

As someone who was in your postition not too long ago, here is what I can tell you. I'm a home daycare provider. DH and I have come to an agreement...

When he is working, so am I...I work on the house, care for the children, pay bills, clean, cook, etc.

When he is home and relaxing, so am I. If there are things I cannot finish, he will try and help me complete them (unless of course he is doing another chore). He doesn't do dishes, so most nights I do the dishes and he gives DD a bath.

Honestly, make a chart, write down EVERYTHING that needs to be done weekly/daily. Then put down beside the chore the person who is doing the chore.

For example:
Lawn care-DH
Dishes-me
Laundry- me (mainly b/c he messes it up)
Kids baths-DH
car care-DH
grocery shopping-me


Leave certain ones blank, but tell him those are responsibilities that if you can't finish, he needs to help you complete. Sometimes not EVERYTHING will get done. Sometimes you will complete certain chores together...like grocery shopping or lawn work.

Another thing that has helped. We have menus for daycare (breakfast/lunch/snacks) and now we go ahead and make up the menu for 2 weeks worth of dinners. We also prep a lot of our meals...like I cook ground beef and then freeze it in 1 lb. lots. Today for lunch I pulled out the meat, thawed it and threw it in a skillet with Manwich...within 10 minutes I had it thawed, cooked and served. A lot faster than if I have to thaw raw meat, cook it and then serve it. He also helps me vacuum seal everything and prep cook stuff to go in the freezer. I cook a lot in bulk...and then we freeze the extras for another meal or two. For example, I made two batches of chili in 2 crockpots. We took the chili and separates it into quart size baggies for our foodsaver. One baggie serves both of us and our daughter...the two crockpots yielded 9 meals.

For me, it has been a struggle to not feel resentment for doing so much. By making my DH see what needed to be done, he is more willing to help so that I can relax with him. After almost 3 years of marriage, we are finally working as a team!
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Old 09-24-2009, 03:27 PM   #17
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

My dh helps with the dishes if I need it, I refuse to do the trash.

I normally do all the normal household chores (dishes, laundry, mopping, vacuuming, making bread, making tortillas...etc.). Take care of the kiddos. I am taking care of my business and getting ready for a craft fair so I'm very overwhelmed, luckily dh is helping me out a bit with housework. Clean the car, the fish tanks (even though I can only move half a bucket at a time from our 55 gallon ).

ETA: Yeah, I normally go grocery shopping too, but dh will help me out if I'm not feeling well or if I just ask him. We also both pay the bills. I used to do it all because I'm better with money, now dh has set up a budget for us and I have him do most of it.
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Old 09-24-2009, 03:46 PM   #18
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

Preface: hubby works 45+ hours a week and is in school full time. We also have 1 car that he uses most of the time.

I clean, cook, take care of DD#1, pay bills, and take care of things that need to happen (we are cub scout leaders and I do most of the planning, etc).

I don't mow though I told Hubby, if we got a reel push mower I would mow our tiny fenced in backyard (because I can do it with a toddler at my heels). We go grocery shopping together, its family time.

Oh, and our consumption of super easy foods has increased. Partly because my nesting has meant total reorganization of the house and i am just too tired to make anything other than sandwiches. We eat a lot of PB&J as well as pasta (hubby cooks pasta though, cause I get too hot). But yeah, he has to pick up more slack when I forget to pay bills and not complain if the living room is covered in toys when he gets home at 10pm (after being gone since 6am).
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Old 09-24-2009, 03:51 PM   #19
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

Wow!!! That is a lot. I cook, clean, take care of all of the childrens' needs, iron clothes for hubby for work, pay the bills, make all the weekend plans and everything that needs to be done to make sure it is done. Hubby does come home, eat and relax, but he also helps with some of the chores on the weekend. Mostly he does mopping and vacuming on Saturday (I do the rest of the days).
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Old 09-24-2009, 04:01 PM   #20
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Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

Most of the house chores are split. I do most of the laundry and all the cooking. SO tends to do more dishes than me but I still do probably 40%, he vacuums, mops and does the bathrooms. I tend to be the clutter cleaner upper. I pay the bills, run all the errands and either I do the grocery shopping by myself or we do them together. He rarely goes to get anything by himself unless it's just milk. I do 80% of the diaper changing and when SO is home we tend to take care of DD together...one is changing the diaper while the other is getting her food ready..stuff like that. I'd say it's pretty equal..if I wasn't a student and was home a lot more I'd take more responsibilities.

ETA: My FIL mow's the grass because SO works too much to mow it and I guess he doesn't want me mowing while DD is napping..which I don't want to do either!
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