Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-24-2009, 04:01 PM   #21
mommy2kaitlyn's Avatar
mommy2kaitlyn
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Western South Dakota
Posts: 16,111
My Mood:
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

Well I don't mow here partly because we don't really need to and partly because I tell dh to do it if we need it. He also does the trash..it is litterally 5 steps away from back door where we put it out for garbage day. And laundry..he is way to picky plus i hate the basement stairs.
I do everything else clean, cook(well mostly), dishes, bills, etc.
Talk to your DH about your feelings. Remember no feeling is stupid and you have every right to them. Also not talking about it can create bigger issues for you two in the future that could have been prevented.

Advertisement

__________________
Proud Single Mommy of: 1 & 9 angels in heaven. Swags
I will not change my belief's, actions, parenting style, etc just because it offends you! I won't be offended by your belief's, actions, parenting style, etc either. ISO Goodnites Coupons
mommy2kaitlyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 04:17 PM   #22
Terra
Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,253
My Mood:
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

I usually do:

All housework
Cooking/cleaning from it
All laundry
Taking out the trash/recycling
Majority of kid care [DH now has bath duty as I have asked ]
Grocery shopping
Majority of bill paying

Basically I did have to sit down with DH and say "look you go to your job during the day" and my job is the home/kids. BUT when you come home it is BOTH of our jobs to tend to the children and the home. You are not "off" when you come home. I sure don't get to suddenly be off at 5pm.
He and I are both first and foremost parents and we need to work jointly on that IMHO.
__________________
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side!
Terra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 04:35 PM   #23
momtoamiracle's Avatar
momtoamiracle
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: southern Louisiana
Posts: 2,772
My Mood:
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

you're doing way too much. Your dh should help. And you wouldn't be whining. I used to help mow but since 've had a child dh does all the mowing. I don't know when it would get done if I had to do it. I mean, who would watch DS while I did it? He has always done the bills, as I would forget to pay something.

We do groceries together a lot of the times, tho sometimes I rather go by myself. I do all cleaning, laundry, childcare, and most of the food prep. Dh cooks his own breakfast several days a week as I don't fry bacon and he wants it every day.


I honestly couldn't do more than I do. Not and be sane. Just childcare alone for 12 hours a day by myself wipes me out...


((HUGS))
__________________
Sydney - mom to miracle boy (9/06),
, XTI, 28mm 2.8, 50mm, 1.8, 28-135mm 85mm 1.8
momtoamiracle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 04:48 PM   #24
cassieJJ's Avatar
cassieJJ
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Colorado.
Posts: 4,484
My Mood:
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

So yeah, I just re-read your post. You're taking out the trash and mowing while you're preggo? If that were my dh I would straight up make a list and say that although you understand how tired he is, he needs to understand how tired you are. Someday the baby will be able to take some of the chores off his hands , which is why he needs to take extra care of you.
__________________
Wife to T, mom to M (7.5) and A (4)
cassieJJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 04:56 PM   #25
Calgary SHAM's Avatar
Calgary SHAM
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Calgary, Canada
Posts: 474
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

You can't let anybody else tell you that you are doing too much or not enough, you should be doing what you can handle. I know this isn't popular, but IMO I'm a stay-at-home-MOM, I'm not a housewife and I'm not a maid, my job is to play with, feed, clean, teach and be there for THE KIDS. I do that more hours than he is at work (there is a commute after all) Everything else is shared 50/50. One week I might do more cleaning, one week he might. It works for us, and what is important is you find what works for YOU.
__________________
Mother to two of the greatest, sweetest, smartest kids ever
Calgary SHAM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 05:06 PM   #26
cassieJJ's Avatar
cassieJJ
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Colorado.
Posts: 4,484
My Mood:
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Calgary SHAM View Post
You can't let anybody else tell you that you are doing too much or not enough, you should be doing what you can handle. I know this isn't popular, but IMO I'm a stay-at-home-MOM, I'm not a housewife and I'm not a maid, my job is to play with, feed, clean, teach and be there for THE KIDS. I do that more hours than he is at work (there is a commute after all) Everything else is shared 50/50. One week I might do more cleaning, one week he might. It works for us, and what is important is you find what works for YOU.
This is said beautifully.
__________________
Wife to T, mom to M (7.5) and A (4)
cassieJJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 05:15 PM   #27
AutumnTrees's Avatar
AutumnTrees
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lansing, NC
Posts: 513
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

I do absolutely everything. Except mow - my dad does that for me...

I care for another baby as well as my own during the day and am a student.

Honestly, I really am glad I don't have a partner for one reason. I know if I did, I would expect help and would end up feeling resentful if my partner didn't. I've noticed this in so many relationships and I've been there as well. At least now if something doesn't get I only have myself to blame.
__________________
Daphne , single student mama to eight year old Anya , six year old Nyanne and baby River (11-02-08)
AutumnTrees is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 05:23 PM   #28
myfrugalfunlife
Banned- member requested
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 16,918
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

I do all the inside stuff and dh does all the outside stuff, including fixing our van when it breaks. I also do all the kid stuff like diaper changes but he helps out if I ask, which is not often. We do budget together and groceries together.
myfrugalfunlife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 05:36 PM   #29
Menfusse's Avatar
Menfusse
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,835
My Mood:
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

I work two days a week and Dh works 5. He is home with the girls one of the days that I work, cuz it's Saturday, but I'm off by 3pm.

Dh does almost all outside work. I do certain things like scrubbing our deck and sometimes some raking. The lawn is his though, always.

I do all inside work except for the dishes. Dh always does the dishes. I cook 99.9% of the time, but he will step up if I've had an exceptionally crazy day and there's something easy to make in the freezer, lol.

He makes out the bills. I take them to the PO, lol.

I do the budget though, make a bi-weekly menu plan, and the list to go with it, but he will go to the grocery store with me, or for me if I ask.

He will pitch in when the house needs a good "spring" type cleaning, but I have to ask.

I do almost all kid care as well.

For the most part, I don't get bugged by it. I despise doing the dishes and gleefully scrub the toilets every time it needs done to avoid it, lol. I do sometimes get annoyed by him saying that he never gets to do anything on Saturday, because "it's my only day I can do stuff", stuff being running around or whatever a man would do. So, he seems to come up with reasons to drop the kids off to his mom a lot of Saturdays based on that reasoning. We had a bit of a fuss about it a couple of weeks ago and I think he finally realized that I don't get a day off. I go non stop at home dealing with a special needs, tube fed, 'lotta meds kid, the house (other than the dishes), homework when the other kid gets home, dinner, baths, picking the house back up, dog care, girl scouts, karate, soccer....um...there's more I'm sure. Then, there's the two days I work out of the home, and come home and still do dinner and all that other stuff. He actually gets to leave his work, and come home...and relax. I never leave work. Being a mom is a 24/7 job.
__________________
Melissa
Mommy to: Mrs. Finicky Fussabunch 11-29-05;The little Adult 9-25-01

Last edited by Menfusse; 09-24-2009 at 05:38 PM.
Menfusse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2009, 07:06 PM   #30
lovespepper
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,901
My Mood:
Re: SAHMs: How much are you repsonsible for??

My dh works an office job and a part time job and I sahm, but we have 5 dc, one of them being only 3months old and we pretty much split the chores and parenting 50-50 when he's home. When he's at work, I obviously do the childcare, but generally the big stuff is done together. We figure my job during the day is to nuture the kids and if i can get around to doing some chores, then it gets done, if not, he helps when he comes home. We are a team. Having said all that, all bets are off during pregnancy or if someone is sick, then special treatment is in order.
lovespepper is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.