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Old 11-11-2009, 06:20 PM   #1
bevinjoy
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Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I'm committed to FT CDing. I have a complete stash of both PFs (with Snappis & Dappi nylon covers) & pocket diapers. The ONLY reason I sewed pocket diapers was b/c I knew that some of my friends & family who would want to watch my son (due 12/18) wouldn't be comfortable with PFs. I've told them that all they'll need to do is shake any poop off into the toilet and treat the wetbag as a trash bag that I'll pick up with my son. I'm not asking anyone else to treat the CDs any differently than they should sposies. (Funny how so few people seem to realize that you're NEVER supposed to send solid human waste to a landfill...)

Well, I think my MIL is dropping hints early. She told me that when she went to Sam's the other day, she picked up a bunch of diapers since they're one of their better buys, and I may be too tired to deal with the CD laundry in the beginning. Then she told me she stocked up on wipes. ("Rags are fine for pee, but sometimes poo requires more.") I'm thinking, "Why are you telling me this?" but I'm afraid I know why.

Whatever it is, my MIL is ALL about convenience. I love her to death, and DH & I both want her to enjoy time with our son, including times when neither of us will be there. But I have visions of battling diaper rash, and aside from that, I don't think my preference for CDing (given my pocket routine) would be inconveniencing her at all.

How do you all recommend I tackle this situation without creating any unnecessary tension?

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Old 11-11-2009, 06:24 PM   #2
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

With my MIL, I basically told her that I respected and appreciated her advice, but that we expected all of the family, including my parents, to respect OUR wishes with OUR child.
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:34 PM   #3
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

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Originally Posted by jveprek View Post
With my MIL, I basically told her that I respected and appreciated her advice, but that we expected all of the family, including my parents, to respect OUR wishes with OUR child.
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:40 PM   #4
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I agree, you need to be firm and remind her that you are the parent and she will need to respect any decisions you and your husband have made concerning your children. Short, Sweet, to the point!
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:41 PM   #5
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

My MIL is such a gentle, kind-hearted lady that I'm really afraid of hurting her feelings. Did you get the sense that your MIL took offense?
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:44 PM   #6
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I had to be a little more forward with my MIL. Before DS was born she suggested buying sposies to keep at her house so we wouldn't have to bring dipes over - I just told her no sposies on our baby's butt ever. Period. She got it.
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:47 PM   #7
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I say don't tackle it at all, don't say anything about her buying the diapers and wipes. Don't use them if you don't want to but I personally wouldn't risk a rift over diapers.
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:54 PM   #8
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I guess I'm going to be the lone voice of an opposite opinion.

While it would be nice if everyone who watched my son in diapers was enthusiastic and willing to deal with cloth diapers, I don't expect them to. If disposable diapers were causing a painful rash or some such reaction it would be one thing, but if it's for a few hours while someone is doing me a huge favor by babysitting, I don't see the big deal. There are so many worse things that she could be asserting herself into such as vaccination, breastfeeding, sleeping habits, diet, discipline, etc. Diapering is so minor.

Provide her with the simple cloth diapers you hope for her to use, but if she feels more comfortable watching the baby with disposables that she is buying and it isn't affecting the baby in any way I personally would let it go.
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:58 PM   #9
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I guess I just need to get in the habit of standing up for our son regardless of who might be offended.

In this case, I think I'll lead by example (Whenever she sees him, he'll be in a CD.) and broach the subject if I see him in a sposie. After all, this will be my first child, and he's not even born yet. Maybe she just wants to be ready in case I decide I was crazy to want to CD. (Not gonna happen!) I'll give her the benefit of the doubt unless or until she puts him in a sposie.

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not alone in feeling like I might have to come across as a jerk once in a while.
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Old 11-11-2009, 07:03 PM   #10
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

KarenK, you make good points. I should consider myself lucky that she isn't stocking up on formula. (I WOULD assert myself about that in a HEARTBEAT.)

I guess maybe I shouldn't worry unless he actually DOES develop a nasty diaper rash. I'd just prefer to prevent it, as I think CDs do.
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