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Old 11-11-2009, 11:07 PM   #21
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

Originally Posted by jenndoxx View Post
Do you trust your MIL to not ruin your nice cloth?

I actually encourage sposie use with my MIL because I'm terrified she'll slop a bunch of diaper cream and baby powder all over them, bleach them to death, or dry them with a half a box of dryer sheets. I just don't trust her to not ruin my nice pockets and AIOs. She and my mother don't get my "rules" for my diapers. They both are totally supportive of my CD-ing DS since they CD'd all their kids, but they refuse to understand why I use a tiny amount of "special" detergent and why I don't slather on gobs of Desitin and baby powder because those things never hurt their cloth diapers (Curity diapers w/plastic pants & pins). I do trust my mom to respect my new-fangled cloth diapers, but not my MIL. No chance. She'd "accidentally" ruin them, I just know it.
Great point to bring up. I have three bins by my washing machine. Each clearly labelled- Dirty Rags, Cloth Diapers and Wipes, Trash. She still throws stuff either on the floor or in the washing machine!!! If I can't trust her to put stuff in marked bins then I definitely don't trust her with my cloth. I've told her about not being able to use "regular" stuff on cloth but I think the drugs from the 70's fried her brain too much as every time it seems to be brand new to her! That said, I have no problem with her using sposies. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I would have to agree with having bigger fish to fry. But if you decide you feel that strongly about using cloth only then stick to your guns and have DH help you deal with her.


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Old 11-11-2009, 11:37 PM   #22
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

Originally Posted by sasterb View Post
I've told her about not being able to use "regular" stuff on cloth but I think the drugs from the 70's fried her brain too much as every time it seems to be brand new to her!
oh I feel you! Except with my husband's maternal unit, it's the drugs from the 70's, yesterday, and breakfast! But that's also why that nutjob doesn't watch my kids while I leave the room to so much as take a pee. But in the beginning my MIL wanted to give me a diaper and bath goods shower, bought us Pampers (that I refunded at Walmart ), and gave those same dumb comments. She also bought a can of Enfamil - out of the blue - and brought home a lot of Similac coupons. And signed me up for both of their junk-mail "easy beginnings" campaigns, AND signed HERSELF up for the coupons and samples too!

So while I completely sympathize with the issues you're having, but it could be/get worse.
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Old 11-11-2009, 11:42 PM   #23
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

Originally Posted by KarenK View Post
I guess I'm going to be the lone voice of an opposite opinion.

While it would be nice if everyone who watched my son in diapers was enthusiastic and willing to deal with cloth diapers, I don't expect them to. If disposable diapers were causing a painful rash or some such reaction it would be one thing, but if it's for a few hours while someone is doing me a huge favor by babysitting, I don't see the big deal. There are so many worse things that she could be asserting herself into such as vaccination, breastfeeding, sleeping habits, diet, discipline, etc. Diapering is so minor.

Provide her with the simple cloth diapers you hope for her to use, but if she feels more comfortable watching the baby with disposables that she is buying and it isn't affecting the baby in any way I personally would let it go.
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Old 11-12-2009, 12:07 AM   #24
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

Here is another vote for "a disposable diaper once in a while is not going to be a major problem". If hse is willing to watch your LO and buy the diapers herself, I say let her use what she is comvortable with. Save your battles for something really important.
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Old 11-12-2009, 12:17 AM   #25
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I guess for me it would depend on how strongly I would want my baby to be in cloth. If the occasional sposie doesn't bother you or you don't mind he only wears them at his grandparents than I probably wouldn't say much.


If you really want him in cloth and you don't want him in sposies than if it were me I would tell them that.

I understand if you don't want to cause a rift......but IMO since YOU are the parent YOU SHOULD have the right to say which diaper's your child wears. kwim?

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Old 11-12-2009, 07:10 AM   #26
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I'm a little in between on this issue. I definitely felt like you in the beginning - my MIL thought we were crazy for using cloth. I don't really understand why because she used it on her boys...I think she used them out of financial need, though, and we chose to do it for both financial and environmental reasons.

My mother and my MIL watch my daughter while I work (my mom has her 3 days, MIL has her 1 day), and both were initially using cloth all the time. I never use disposables, but they both have some at their homes which they purchased. My mom also keeps a small stash of cloth at her house (about a dozen prefolds), which she uses, but my dad and siblings don't know how to use, so they use the sposies, or if she runs out of diapers for the week or whatever. I don't mind that. I DID mind when my MIL started sending back the whole bag of cloth diapers I packed untouched (and did so for several weeks in a row) instead of just telling me she preferred to use disposables at her home. I was a little miffed about it, but I ended up just biting the bullett and letting it go. I mean, we get free daycare, so I really can't complain, and we aren't the ones buying the diapers, so I feel like it wasn't worth the fight.

HOWEVER, if my daughter starts developing rashes (which she has NEVER had in cloth), then I would put my foot down about using cloth.
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Old 12-20-2009, 01:37 PM   #27
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

We started out with all BG pockets and AIOs, b/c prefolds intimidated me.
My MIL came to visit when DS was about 2 months old. She never used cloth diapers on DH or his sister, but she WAS very impressed with my BG AIO's. She liked how soft they were, how cute they were, and she commented on how pretty the colors were.

I didn't meet with much resistance, partly because no one lives anywhere near me, also because in the beginning I constantly talked about....
how it doesn't leak out of cloth, how it doesn't get on his clothes, etc.

I would always tell people that I wasn't doing any "extra" laundry, b/c if I wasn't washing poopy diapers, then I would be washing poopy clothes.

That might be enough for them to give cloth a chance...
Honestly, though, if my IL's were THAT opposed to cloth, I wouldn't get into a fight over it. That's just me though, I am living 3500 miles away from family and DH is deployed, I would LOVE to have grandparents living close enough so that I could leave the house without DS once in a while. As long as he wasn't unhappy, I wouldn't care what diaper he was in if it was a couple hours once a week.
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Old 12-20-2009, 01:49 PM   #28
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

Here is my honest opinion. Having a few sposies around is not going to hurt. I wanted to do cloth from day one and guess what I had one of the few children who had a serious reaction to CD. Any amount of wetness would cause him to scream and his entire diaper area to turn bright red. I talked to his ped who is incredibly pro CD and even the ped said to use disposables for a while until his skin got a little less sensitive. We went back to CD at 3 months and have never looked back. You never know exactly how things are going to go with a new baby. It is not worth arguing about with your MIL. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and she sees how easy CDs are and returns the sposies, but it is not worth causing a family feud over.
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Old 12-20-2009, 01:50 PM   #29
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

Let's see, my mom is the same way.
Basically what it boiled down to was that is she was unwilling to use our cloth then she would be responsible for purchasing the diapers she wanted to use at her house.

Yes, disposables are being used...however I am not paying for them
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Old 12-20-2009, 02:09 PM   #30
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Re: Afraid MIL will be using disposables

I'm strongly opposed to my LO being put in sposies, so for me it'd be a big issue. I feel that the negative health effects of sposies will continue to come out, and I'd prefer to use natural things on my baby's genitals/mucus membranes, and I'm very passionate about it. So if someone was insisting on putting sposies on my LO, or worse- doing it in secret- it'd be the last time they watched my LO. My child, my choices!!! So for me it's as much an issue of respect as anything else, and of trust.

I'd make it clear why it is important to you, and that it is non-negotiable. Most people should have no issue with that at all.
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