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Old 01-22-2007, 03:46 PM   #21
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Re: Circ

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Any advice would be appreciated because I would really love to just walk away from a conversation and not feel like i need to
thanks in advance and
Amber

i understand what you're saying...however...don't you think that we'd like to be able to walk away from it as well w/o

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Old 01-22-2007, 03:52 PM   #22
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why do you insist on grating my cheese...my kids already do that
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my DH and i argued about this. he also had unfounded reasons. regardless of how strongly he felt, his opinion was uneducated, mine was educated. I win! we;re not talking about something minor here like a hair cut, this is your sons foreskin and his civil rights being removed without his consent. if your husband wanted to remove a finger woudl you say ok? i assure you, your son will get much less use out of his pinky than he would out of his foreskin!


marriage is not always about winning whether you have a "better" reason than his or not. yes i realize he may not have an educated opinion on the matter and you do. just as i do. but it's not a board game. obviously i would not let him decide to chop my sons finger off...for one thing loosing a limb is not the same as loosing foreskin no matter how you want to look at it's usefulness. for that matter...do you know if there's religious reasons involved...no you do not. would you bash my dh's choice of religion if there were??? are you willing to take your argument that far? i don't think the OP opened this thread necessarily to bash our choice, i think she opened it to ask if there is a better way to bring the information across to those who weren't willing to educate themselves. then you have to come in and act as if you're better than us and high and mighty b/c you WON.

as far as my child's rights....trust me as parents you take away many other "rights" from them as they grow up. that was a lame argument.
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Old 01-22-2007, 04:00 PM   #23
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Re: Circ

My DS is intact. And luckily, his father isn't as stubborn as me and gladly did the research that I did. He is now very against circ as well. We are not together anymore (and even though he doesn't want anymore birth children with anyone else...long story) we discussed wether or not he would let a future partner circ their baby (adopted or whatever) and he said NO WAY.

My sister, however, is pregnant and in a constant battle with her SO on the issue. She is *very* educated about it and has done tons of reasearch - and she has, afteralll, spent the last 20 months knowing an intact baby- and her SO knows NOTHING about it. His reasons are that it is ugly and that it will stink. (WTF, has he ever SMELLED an intact penis? Erm, no.) And, *intact* is the default. Not circ. I think her SO's *real* reason for wanting the baby circ'd is because he doesn't want to admit that anything is wrong with his because he REFUSES to read anything that we put infront of him. Many men are like that and its incredibly sad. And their relationship is on the rocks because of it and she's on the verge of just leaving him. And YES, its that important to her.

And I'm thankful everyday that Bram's dad is the way he is, because otherwise we would have seperated a LONG time ago.

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Old 01-22-2007, 05:09 PM   #24
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Re: Circ

whooaa!! now chill out !!
i appreciate that this stop!! cant we just stop beating a dead horse!!! This is a warning now i dont want to start infracting people!
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Old 01-22-2007, 05:17 PM   #25
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Re: Circ

Whoa.....I think this is the shortest thread I've ever had to ask ladies to cool it on, sheesh.

Some people agree with circ, some people don't (I happen to be 110% against it). BUT, there is a time, a place, and a certain way to educate an share information from an intactivists point of view. Calling someone weak and presuming to know how their marriage should work is not going to get your point across.

Someone usually gets good information out of circ threads, hopefully at least the OP gets the advice she's looking for... Lets keep it civil ladies. We're not here to attack others.
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Old 01-22-2007, 05:21 PM   #26
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Re: Circ

come on Sandy.... gimme an infraction! you know you want too!!!

as for the OP's question... in reality, the only thing you can do is present information you believe is valid to support your position. You can't force someone to change their views, and you can't force someone to even read the info you present. It's their choice. But you also can't hate them or think less of them because they choose differently.

as for the topic, and I know people think it's stupid, but ask me if I care... it's my DH's choice. He's firm in his belief that the person that owns and operate an organ is the one that'll make the choice for his son. He'll look, study and review the info I present to him, but the final choice is his and because any son we may be blessed with is equally his, I won't force my opinion onto my husband. And I can tell you, he's looked, studied and reviewed the information and he's still of the mindset that any son we may have will be circ'd. And as his wife, I will respect his decision. Just as much as he will respect my decision as a mother, and woman, to educate our daughters as to menstrual cycles and how to care for themselves during that time. Why? Because I have the said organs and know what it's all about.

With that said... don't go attacking people mama's. I'm with Sandy on this one.
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Old 01-22-2007, 06:00 PM   #27
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My son is intact. My daughter, due in a few months, will be intact too!

My DH wanted DS circed. To me, the needs of my child will ALWAYS come before the wants of my husband. No child NEEDS to be circumcised and it is only a WANT of the parents. It is a no brainer to me.

Choosing to alter your child's gentials for comestic reasons in hopes of not arguing your husband is mind boogling to me. I just don't understand why the husband being happy is more important than the child's right to consent to comestic surgery.

And, my DH is pro-circumcision. He wanted and still wants DS circumcized. I may be a bad wife for "defying" him and not allowing it to be done but I am a good mom because I defyed him and didn't allow it to be done.
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Old 01-22-2007, 06:11 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by MamaJo View Post
Whoa.....I think this is the shortest thread I've ever had to ask ladies to cool it on, sheesh.

Some people agree with circ, some people don't (I happen to be 110% against it). BUT, there is a time, a place, and a certain way to educate an share information from an intactivists point of view. Calling someone weak and presuming to know how their marriage should work is not going to get your point across.

Someone usually gets good information out of circ threads, hopefully at least the OP gets the advice she's looking for...
Lets keep it civil ladies. We're not here to attack others.
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Old 01-22-2007, 06:17 PM   #29
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well i guess i am weak then.
i wouldnt say im weak but I personally felt that it was not a HUGE ordeal to have him circ-ed or not . I have researched,both sides of the fence , and also AP is not a " way " to be.. there are no rules, it is term that typically covers a type of parenting, If I had to "label" myself as a parent I would say that I fit into the AP group becuase the majority of my beliefs fit in there, but my son is circed.. it doesnt mean I love him less, and I think referring to it as mutilation is a little harsh, it is a medical procedure, maybe not a necesary one but it is none the less, Gage slept though his, with local anesthestic ( sp ) I was in NICU when they did it..



so come on with the neg comments, and calling me out
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Old 01-22-2007, 06:23 PM   #30
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Our son is intact. I also think baby boys should be given the same right as baby girls. Genital integrity for all!
Can I hear an AMEN.

My son was left the way he was meant to be - just as my daughter was.
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