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Old 12-12-2009, 05:41 PM   #1
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How long?

I was curious as to what you all thought as to how long do you TTC before considering adoption? I have not been at it very long compared to some but I am already sick of waiting, all I want to be is a mommy and I just wanted to see what opinions there are out there. Thanks!

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Old 12-12-2009, 06:21 PM   #2
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Re: How long?

we are on 15 months and starting to consider it. We are giving ourselves 3-4 more months of trying before actively pursuing it. It's so expensive that it scares me to get into, but dh really wants to even if we have another bio kid.
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Old 12-12-2009, 07:44 PM   #3
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Re: How long?

We have been trying for over 6 years and I still cannot bring myself to look into adoption, I get the feeling like I would be giving up on God and taking the wrong route into parenthood that God has planned for me
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Old 12-12-2009, 08:48 PM   #4
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Re: How long?

We tried about 3 years before we started talking about it. Even then it was only general conversations. I never started actually looking at an agency or anything....we just knew that we could not afford it at that time in our lives. We would want to pay for at least one round of IVF before considering adoption anyway and we didn't have the money yet to even do IVF so adoption was further down the line...no sense in talking about something if we had other options first that we preferred and were possibilities over adoption. The MAIN reason we wouldn't do adoption would be the cost involved. We just did not have that kind of money. IVF for us was quoted at about $9,000 and that was much more doable for us in addition to the fact that it created an opportunity for us to have a biological child. We wanted a biological child if at all possible. So all that to say that we tried for 4 years and succeeded with IUI which is a MUCH cheaper option.

I don't know your story or medical history but it may be that at this point, you have MANY options before you consider adoption....that is if having a biological child is a goal for you. I am not downplaying adoption at all but for us it was further down the list of methods we would take to become parents. I definitely felt frustrated about how long it took us. It is a long road for those that struggle to be parents. Most fertility doctors will not see you until you have been trying for a year so if you have been trying that long, I would recommend seeing a gyn for bloodwork and exams and ask to be referred to an RE if you are ready for that next step. If you have not been trying a year or are not able to go to a fertility doctor yet, I would recommend doing a lot of research on your own on natural ways to increase your chances including using the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
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Old 12-12-2009, 09:09 PM   #5
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Re: How long?

i've wanted to adopt since i was a young kiddo, and i never thought i'd struggle with fertility issues, so i had always planned to do both. fortunately the man i eventually married was on board we have been ttc for 6 failed cycles so far, and in the 2ww last cycle we finally bit the bullet and registered with an adoption agency. i am also tired of waiting and i want my kiddos to be close in age. i know the adoption process takes awhile too, so i wanted to get it started. plus, through the end of th 2010 there a big adoption tax credit that apparently covers most of your cost (after the fact, but a huge incentive!) i don't know much more about it.

i really feel that God will lead us in both directions... i don't know exactly when for either one, but we just take one step in front of the other and see where we are led. in all honesty i would be really sad if we only were able to have one bio child, but at the same time, i do believe we are meant to parent a child whose parents can't care for him/her. that is so deeply rooted in my heart that it's possible that would overrule my felt-NEED to be pregnant again. i guess i'm open to what happens, and for us, that meant to start the adoption trail while continuing to ttc. if that means we find ourselves with two babies, we would be ecstatic!
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:09 PM   #6
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Re: How long?

We have always talked about adopting. I want to adopt once we are out of the military since I feel so bad already about moving my kids all over. I would love to have 3 bio and 2 adopted children. If god is willing than I am on board
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Old 12-12-2009, 11:17 PM   #7
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Re: How long?

I'm like Katie...always wanted to adopt since I was a kid and married an awesome man who was totally on board. My dream was to adopt after I had a handful of bio children though. DH and I just talked today and semi-decided that if TTC naturally for one year gets us nowhere, we will pursue adoption at that time, rather than waiting. We won't be going the fertility treatments route.
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Old 12-13-2009, 02:58 AM   #8
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Re: How long?

Around 16 months TTC, I started looking at adoption agencies online. However, I knew we'd never be able to afford an international adoption or a domestic infant adoption.

And since we're overseas, knew we couldn't do foster to adopt till we returned stateside. However, looking through the adoptions pages, I knew deep in my heart that it wasn't the right time for us to adopt, even if we had the funds.

I think if we had tried a few IVF's (DH and I agreed that donor IVF isn't something we want to do) which failed, we would have looked more seriously into adoption.

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Old 12-13-2009, 09:42 AM   #9
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Re: How long?

I am adopted and have always wanted to adopt but it is so expensive. I agree with Mel though, I feel like I would be giving up on God and telling him pretty much that he couldnt preform a miracle if he so chose too.
I have been trying since March 2007, in there have had 2 7-9 weeks loses and a few chemicals.. so I am hoping and praying for my own first. But I would love to foster at one point.
If you have been trying for over a year get to a Dr if you can, but if you haven't everything I've read says it can take up to a year for a healthy women. So just try to wait, I know its hard though.
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:22 PM   #10
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Re: How long?

Thank you ladies so much! I have an appointment with my doctor early January (which will be 13 months trying) to see where we go from here. I guess what prompted my question was that I was talking to dh the other night about how long we try before considering adoption and he is not convinced we should any time soon. We are still young but I want multiple children and don't want to be older with no energy when I do. (I think this has turned into a rant so feel free to skip this post hehe ) I know it all depends on your personal situation but it helps to know I am not alone in my thinking.
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