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Old 01-22-2007, 03:51 PM   #1
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cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

So, here's the situation. I am at a loss. We have coslept with our 18 month old her whole life despite everyone we know thinking we are nuts. However, I wouldn't change it for anything so we now want to cosleep with our "soon to be" newborn (due Feb. 10). I bought a cosleeper that attaches to our bed (last baby we had a close and secure sleeper early on and then she just slept in between us) and we have been trying to put our 18 month in a crib on the other side of the room. I don't want to move her to another room just because we are having a new baby because I certainly DON'T want her to feel tossed out just because there is a new baby. However, I am afraid that when the baby wakes up and cries, my older dd will wake up. The only solution we could come up with was to put her in a crib on the other side of the room (not that it is probably going to make a HUGE difference in noise). Yet, I thought maybe me getting up lots with the newborn and being right near the newborn would make her more restless and wake up more. Soooo....problem is, my older dd fall asleep with us, gets put in the crib, and will wake up at about 2 AM each morning wanting to get back in bed with us. I certainly don't blame her and it's not that I mind. I just don't know how it's going to work when the newborn comes...Any suggestions? Has anyone been able to make this work or dealt with this? Thanks!

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Old 01-26-2007, 10:46 AM   #2
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

has no one done this...uh oh
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Old 01-26-2007, 10:52 AM   #3
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

We still co-slept with Dominic after the twins were born for awhile. All 5 of us were in a king size bed. Sometimes the crying woke him up, sometimes it didn't. I usually rolled over and fed the one crying right away and it wouldn't disturb him. If it did wake him up he just fell back asleep on his own. He was about 22 months when they were born.
Now after saying that, eventually (a few weeks later) we moved him to his own queen size bed in another bedroom and he slept better in there. Now DH goes in and sleeps with him at night because it helps that someone still co-sleeps with him and I get the king size for just me and the girls. That set-up wouldn't be great for everyone, but it works well for us. DH works nights (well, usually gets home 3-4am) so it keeps from waking me or the girls up and he gets to spend time and cuddle with DS if he wants.
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Old 01-26-2007, 02:02 PM   #4
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

I know what you mean, we have been co-sleeping with our son since he was born and he is now amost 2 1/2. I am due in March, and naturally, we want to co-sleep with the new baby as well. What we have tried doing (and hasn't really worked yet, lol) is putting his crib mattress on the floor in our room right next to our bed. This may not work for you, because your little one is only 18mo, but just a suggestion. I find that I am just as attatched to him sleeping right next to me as he is! Another room just seems so far away I am going to keep checking this thread, and hopefully get some advice as well!
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Old 01-26-2007, 07:55 PM   #5
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

what about naps? does she nap in bed or in crib? you could try napping her in crib if she doesn't already to get her used to it. then try putting the crib next to your bed at night with the rail down so it is sorta like a co sleeper and putting her in their somewhat awake. if she goes into the crib already asleep and then wakes up in the night (as we all do) then she will be like "hey this isn't where i fell asleep!" and of course want back in. so try putting her in awake and then as she gets used to that slowly move the crib foot by foot to where you want it!
works for some but not all! worth a try!!
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Old 01-26-2007, 08:25 PM   #6
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

My DD was almost 3 when DS was born. I don't remember the sleeping situation being too difficult. I had enough to worry about without thinking DD was feeling left out by being in another bed! And I slept better with them both near me. The truth is we were all up quite a bit anyway just trying to adjust, KWIM? After a bit, the baby could scream his head off and she could sleep (even fall asleep) just fine! Our toddler slept in the middle of DH and me and the baby slept on my other side in the crook of my arm. On the occasional night when DD was restless, I slept on the couch with DS on my chest-still one of our favorite things to do and he is almost 2 now!
Maybe you are just stressing too much about it. We thought we had to make changes before the baby came to "prepare", but the truth was-for us anyway-that everything worked itself out. I thought about putting DD in another bed or crib, but it wasn't right for us. Our bed is a family bed!
Now I put them to sleep together sometimes in DD's big girl bed (queen size) and they come to our bed when they wake up during the night. That's especiallyt nice when we need some "mom and dad time". I still love feeling both of my children next to me in bed at night and I love the sleepy laughter and cuddles in the morning. It is such a special time for our WHOLE family!!!
Don't know if that all made sense, but hope it helps some!
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Old 01-27-2007, 11:20 AM   #7
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

I've done it with 3 nbs. If you want to continue co-sleeping with everyone, maybe get a ten bed as an ad-on to yours and have the arrange go: wall-baby-you-dd-dh.

GL!
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Old 01-27-2007, 11:26 AM   #8
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

My DS was 17months old when DD was born & had slept with us since day 1 & never in a crib! I was so worried about co-sleeping with a toddler & newborn too BUT it was/is great! Our bed goes: DH, DS,Me, DD & lately: DH, DS, DD, Me since the kids like cuddling together!

I definatly would try to not get DD out because adding a new baby is hard enough, KWIM?

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-27-2007, 08:00 PM   #9
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

My kids are two years apart...we co-sleep with both. We have gone through a couple of rough spots with my youngest keeping my older child awake but he is a pretty sound sleeper so it doesn't really bother him too much.

MY kids can't sleep next to each other b/c they just want to play...we started out since birth with wall DD me DS DH and that's the way it has stayed.

Good luck!

eta...we had both of them in bed all night long--they never slept in a crib at night
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Old 01-27-2007, 09:48 PM   #10
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Re: cosleeping with a newborn and toddler..help:)

We co-sleep with both of our sons, 2.5 years apart. AND 3 big dogs! DS1 is between me & DH and DS2 is on the other side of me between me and the c-sleeper, no problems ever. (The dogs sleep at our feet)


ETA: DS1 gets kinda woken up by DS2 but he was just so happy to be near everyone he never complained and if DS2 was going to cry for a while we take him out of the room. Its actually easier to have DS1 in the bed with us because you could rock the baby in their room and not wake anyone up
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