Do you CIO?

[ammcmaho]

absolutely not. especially not for babies (under 1 year)

[madebymommy]

we did CIO with my DD when she was about 2 years old. It worked for us, but like PP said, I know her cries and I know when she NEEDS me, versus when she is fussing because she NEEDS sleep. But I don't think its for every child and I don't believe in it being used with young young children.

[Computermama]

Yep. DD would wake up if I moved her. The second I started to put her down, she'd be awake. So at three months, once she started seeming sleepy, I'd make sure she wasn't hungry, check her diaper and change it if it was wet or dirty, put her down in her bed, turn on her music and walk away. Sometimes she'd fuss. Usually no more than 5 min, but she'd fuss. If she started into a full blown cry, I'd go and get her. If by the end of the 15 min when her music box shut off she wasn't asleep, I'd go get her back up - both of those meant that she wasn't ready for sleep yet. But usually 5 min of fussing tops and out she went. I started doing this at three months and never looked back. It's a pretty gentle form of CIO, but it is still CIO.

[carmismom]

I also put down other. For DD we did it only because like others have stated I know her cry and it wasn't a frantic cry, just a tired one. She cried for about 5 min and that was it. DS I tried and he just works himself up, so it is a no go for him.

[mommy2abigail]

My definition of CIO is leaving a baby/toddler/child to cry in order to try to teach them to fall asleep on their own. We do not leave our children to cry alone. If they are crying, then need something. It's hard to remember that especially as they get older, but I honestly do not believe that they are trying to make my life miserable or manipulate me. Whether it is reassurance, a cuddle or a warm body next to them, they need something. Any time I've been tempted to do CIO because of a rough few nights or whatever, we realize the baby is sick, teething, or there is something stressful going on in our lives. Unfortunately, because of dh's work, I'm solo parenting a lot of the time, so I can really relate with the stress of having a baby that wont sleep and being totally exhausted yourself. However, I do not think that lack of support for the mother excuses CIO for the baby, you know? They don't know and it's certainly not their fault. There have been times when I'm by myself and dh is either out of town or working a lot of hours, that I'm at my wits end and I set the baby down to have a moment, but I always go back for her as soon as I am calm. It's not done to teach a lesson or anything, it is a mommy time out.

In my perfect world, I'd have lots of friends and family who parented the same way that I could lean on for support...

[Miles]

I had to say other because we did try it a couple times but it didnt work for us. When she got older we started to do it and it wasnt really CIO as she never really cried.

[GEM Cloth]

Nope. Babies do not cry themselves to sleep alone in this house.

[PipersMomma]

so some of your posts got me thinking.... Does CIO mean a hard cry, sob, or is a fussy, whining considered CIO too? Bc Phe has never "cried" to sleep, but I will let her self soothe if shes just fussing or whining.

[Everywhere]

I put "other". I don't cry to "extinction" or let my babies get hysterical. And not on a young baby because I don't feel like doing whatever they need to get to sleep.

I do let them cry when they are older, if I put them down and they are simply crying because "I don't wanna" go to bed. The same way I would let them cry if they wanted to play with something dangerous and I wouldn't let them.
In this situation, the crying lasts 5 minutes or so, and it's more like whining/protesting than crying. It's not a scared cry or a hysterical cry...there are no "heart sloughs", gagging, or any of that.

If the "I don't wanna go to bed" protesting progresses to hysteria, then I will go in and calm and reassure them and lay them right back down.

In my opinion it shouldn't be something stressful or traumatic. Like my pediatrician has told me about how I should handle night crying, he says "If it's stressful for you, it's stressful for him, and that isn't good for anyone"

So that's what I base it off of....is the crying stressing me out or "bothering" me? If it is then it's time for me to go in and reassure. If the crying is simply protesting/tantruming, it's not going to hurt him and will be over in 5 minutes (and if I DID go in and get him during one of these tantrums, it would teach him that all he has to do is throw a fit to get what he wants-- not what I want to teach him whether it be the candy isle or at bedtime)

[DesertRat]

Yes. Sometimes when I'm really stressed out and tired and emotional, it's good to just go cry it out. Then I feel better afterwards.

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Oh, did you mean for my kids?