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Old 01-23-2007, 05:16 PM   #21
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

We used the CIO method. DD#1 cried for about 20 min for three days before bed. Every five I would go in and rub her back and tell her it was ok. After that she went down to sleep awake for naps and bed that was at four months. We did it a little sooner with the twins because it was hard to rock and comfort two babies at once. That was at two months, they never have cried at bedtime/naptime since. If the crying went longer than that I would have probally did something else. And no I am not a cruel person.

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Old 01-23-2007, 05:21 PM   #22
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

we did hav this thread before
i remember asking if CIO was also for other things OTHER than sleeping. cuz i was confused too. i dont do CIO, i let him cry if he is being bratty or wants something that he cant have, but someone told me taht is not CIO. hahahahah see? im one confused. cuz i thought CIO was for everything.
i dont do the cio for letting him sleep nope. if i hear him get up during the night i roll over and pat his back and confort him.
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Old 01-23-2007, 05:27 PM   #23
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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Originally Posted by Proverbs169 View Post
Well, it seems like the phrase "it out" would mean until the end- until they are asleep, no matter how long that might take. Allowing a child to fuss for a few minutes isn't the same as allowing an infant to cry for an hour or longer. IMO they cannot be in the same catagory.

I have a baby that is a year old next month. When we put her down at night, she will from time to time fuss for a few minutes. To me that isn't a big deal. She KNOWS that it's bed time. She would like it to be play time instead. Not gonna happen. I know my children well enough to know their different cries. Some people would consider this CIO, but I certainly don't.
This best sums up my personal definition as well. I don't let my son cry often, unless I was at the of my rope and need to collect myself (which has happened a few times and it was never more than 20 minutes). Sometimes Nicky fusses for a minute when I put him down, but I know his fussing to sleep cry versus his I am really upset cry. If he is really upset I go in there and comfort him.

And I never let my baby CIO when he was a small infant, never.

When I think of CIO I think of a baby screaming and its parents ignoring it in order to "train" it to fall asleep. And no matter how long it takes they will let that baby cry. Makes me so sad.
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Old 01-23-2007, 05:46 PM   #24
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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Crying it out to me is knowingly letting your baby cry when you could be going to him/her.


We do not, have not and will never CIO with our babies. Not only does it go against my instincts as a mother, it is harmful to the baby. Letting a baby continously cry causes their blood pressure to rise dramatically, which in turn lessens the oxygen in the blood that flows to the brain. It also causes the brain to flood with stress hormones. Not to mention young children who cry are crying for a legitimate reason. Whether it be hunger, a dirty diaper or just emotional needs being met - I believe it's my job as a mother to meet all those needs for my babies. My parenting doesn't stop at 7:00 when it's my babies bed time.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:01 PM   #25
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

I don't consider my technique to be CIO, therefore I have invented a new name: "The Five Minute Rule." When it's naptime or bedtime, I change DD, nurse her, rock, sing to her (the same song so she recognizes it), then put her down. She will usually cry for a couple minutes...shorter periods depending on how sleepy she is. Only if she's exhausted will she go down with only one whimper. I have never put her down and not gotten at least a "Wah...." before she started snoring.

If she cries for more than 5 minutes I go back. Usually I have to nurse her again at that point. I might have had to go back and forth a dozen times when she was tiny. (Not anymore, thank goodness.) If the pitch of her cry changes, if she's panicked, I might go back sooner. Usually that's not necessary.

In the beginning I tried to rock her down and she had me up til midnight (or later) every night. I was starting to crack from the stress and lack of sleep...it was bad. Five minutes was all I could stand then. I would go down the hall to the office to check my email while I watched the clock on the toolbar.

In my mind The Five Minute Rule isn't CIO. Cry it out is more like Ferberizing, where you let them cry for progessively longer periods of time and you're not "allowed" to pick them up if you go into their rooms. My MIL used this technique maybe twice with my DD (because I was too exhausted to argue). It seemed to work for her. It never worked for me--quite possibly because I breastfed DD. (If Mom came in, she was getting a snack, by golly! )

Anyway...CIO never worked for us. No value judgments here.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:11 PM   #26
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

IMO, CIO means to let your child cry for you and the parent choosing not to tend to the child. I have never had to leave my children to CIO and yes, I do still have time to shower, do my makeup and clean the house. I think it is an awfully cruel thing to do to your child.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:34 PM   #27
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

What people refer to as "cry it out" came from Dr. Richard Ferber. But Dr. Ferber does NOT advocate letting your child cry and doing nothing about it. Here it is, straight from Dr. Ferber:


Rumor
Ferber says you should let your child cry it out alone in his crib until he falls asleep.

What he actually says

Ferber never says you should simply leave your baby in his crib and shut the door behind you. His progressive waiting approach allows you to gradually limit the time you spend in your child's room while providing regular comfort and reassurance as well as reassuring yourself that he's okay.

In the preface of his new book, Ferber takes pains to clarify his position: "Simply leaving a child in a crib to cry for long periods alone until he falls sleep, no matter how long it takes, is not an approach I approve of. On the contrary, many of the approaches I recommend are designed specifically to avoid unnecessary crying." Ferber's "progressive waiting" technique encourages parents to frequently comfort their child during the sleep training process.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:37 PM   #28
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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Originally Posted by Taylor View Post
Letting a baby continously cry causes their blood pressure to rise dramatically, which in turn lessens the oxygen in the blood that flows to the brain. It also causes the brain to flood with stress hormones. Not to mention young children who cry are crying for a legitimate reason....My parenting doesn't stop at 7:00 when it's my babies bed time.
Just to clarify: the technique does NOT involve "letting a baby cry continuously." It also does NOT involve stopping parenting at bed time.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:48 PM   #29
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

To me CIO, just means letting your baby cry instead of responding exactly the way the cry is demanding. There are extremes that I think are unhealthy and would never do, but, I personally want my children to learn to fall asleep on their own, and when they are used to nursing to sleep or rocking or whatever, they are going to resist change, thus cry. I try my best to find the appropriate age for that particular child to do it, because every child is different and has different needs. I also try my very best to do it as gradually as possible, but their is always some crying. Even if I am right there soothing and whispering, they might be crying just because they want to be picked up. I don't think there is anything cruel about the way I teach my children to sleep on their own, but it is some form of CIO. If it feels wrong, it is probably wrong. That is they way I do most of my parenting. Letting them cry for three minutes while I pat them thru the crib slats never felt wrong....it felt like good parenting. And three nights later, when they cried for a minute or two because I left the room still just felt like the right thing to do. Both my children are fabulous sleepers, and it is because of what I have done as a parent. All kids have different needs and all parents have different styles, so I just think you have to do what you feel is right for your situation.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:51 PM   #30
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

No.. it is not cruel to help a child learn to go to sleep without mommy there all the time... It has never hurt a child to cry it out.... A child will cry to get what they want when they want "sometimes", just because a child cries does not mean they NEED something. I look at it this way... children are perfectly capable of showing their emotions just like us.. minus the ability to speak at certain ages.. so, instead of doing what we might do, such as yell words or slam a door, or walk out of the room, or talk out what we want and decide if it is needed or rational, all they have is crying. So, they cry to try to get what they need or want. Sometimes it is difficult to tell if it is a need or a want, if you are not sure, check the diaper, try a bottle and check for fevers, love a little and then back to bed. At bed time, they are getting use to finding how to fall asleep and learning to be alone or they simply don't want to go to bed, so they cry to try to get a parent to come and get them. I don't think that you should let them cry indeffinately of course. A social worker friend once told me that crying it out was a good thing and that it won't hurt them. She talked to Dr. who backed up the theory and suggested it to me. I asked her one time how long it should go on and she said that an hour was not too long. No one can help you with this decision. You will have to figure it out.
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