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Old 01-23-2007, 09:08 PM   #31
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

Dearonebaby, actually your social worker friend is wrong. Many studies have shown being left to cry for as little as 30 minutes can have long reaching damaging affects to a child's developing brain. It causes stress hormones to flood their system and cut off the flow of oxygen to their developing brain. There is a post just a little way down about a piece that Dr. Sears did on this very subject.

The fact is that gut wrenching feeling you get when your baby cries is natural. It is your instinct telling you to go to your baby and take care of them. It is natures way of protecting and caring for babies. Only humans would turn it around and try to turn off the instinct insisting that their babies are trying to manipulate them. Babies do not have wants vs needs. Everything is a need for them. Even touch is a need. Babies cannot sooth themselves, they are not built for it.

When ds1 was little I held him non stop. I only put him down if dh or my mother was going to take him. He never cried it out. I showered when he was sound asleep, or when some one was here to watch him. I have done the same with Ds2. It is possible not to use CIO at all, but I will admit it takes a bit more effort, and you have to be willing to grab a moment when you have the chance. AS for attending to my showering needs with two, I let ds1 play (he is 5.5 now and doesn't need me constantly) and ds2 showers with me. He loves to sit and splash while I shower. Same for going to the bathroom. He just comes with me. When he was tiny I brought the bouncer in with me for the call of nature and waited for dh to get home to shower. They aren't babies forever, and being a parent means making some sacrafices.

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Old 01-23-2007, 09:15 PM   #32
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

irris0110 ~

I love what you said about them only being babies for a short time. So true!
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Old 01-23-2007, 09:24 PM   #33
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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Originally Posted by Dearonebaby View Post
No.. it is not cruel to help a child learn to go to sleep without mommy there all the time... It has never hurt a child to cry it out.... A child will cry to get what they want when they want "sometimes", just because a child cries does not mean they NEED something. I look at it this way... children are perfectly capable of showing their emotions just like us.. minus the ability to speak at certain ages.. so, instead of doing what we might do, such as yell words or slam a door, or walk out of the room, or talk out what we want and decide if it is needed or rational, all they have is crying. So, they cry to try to get what they need or want. Sometimes it is difficult to tell if it is a need or a want, if you are not sure, check the diaper, try a bottle and check for fevers, love a little and then back to bed. At bed time, they are getting use to finding how to fall asleep and learning to be alone or they simply don't want to go to bed, so they cry to try to get a parent to come and get them. I don't think that you should let them cry indeffinately of course. A social worker friend once told me that crying it out was a good thing and that it won't hurt them. She talked to Dr. who backed up the theory and suggested it to me. I asked her one time how long it should go on and she said that an hour was not too long. No one can help you with this decision. You will have to figure it out.
That is not what the Drs. Sears said on Dr. Phil last week. They said CIO increase blood pressure and restricts oxygen to the brain. Not sure what is good about that.
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Old 01-23-2007, 09:42 PM   #34
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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No.. it is not cruel to help a child learn to go to sleep without mommy there all the time... It has never hurt a child to cry it out.... A child will cry to get what they want when they want "sometimes", just because a child cries does not mean they NEED something.
Two weeks ago my son was crying at naptime. Not screaming but crying. He *should* have been tired and he *should* be able to put himself to sleep at 16 months old. I decided he probably needed some "mommy time" and went in to rock him.

Turns out his leg was stuck between the crib rails. The way he was laying had him helpless on his back, thigh stuck in the crib.

It scares me to think what could have happened if I believed in CIO and left him to fall asleep helpless and stuck.
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Old 01-23-2007, 09:51 PM   #35
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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What is your definition of "Cry It Out" and what do you think of it ?
I think of CIO as sleep training or training to self-soothe. I don't think it's healthy.
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Old 01-23-2007, 09:55 PM   #36
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/...enNeedTou.html
Quote:
The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.

"Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're overly sensitive to future trauma."
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Old 01-23-2007, 10:24 PM   #37
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

I was not saying crying continually without checking on them to those that responded.. and ONE or TWO dr's opinions are not what I am after.. bottom line, it is a "SELF DECISION"... I was offering opinion in this thread and held back on the ones that pointed at the ones that allow children to CIO were "cruel".. but thanks for the info... I was adding in what was my opinion... The last points after mine were made before my comment and were not needed for repeating.. Thank you though...
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Old 01-23-2007, 10:27 PM   #38
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

Many studies have shown being left to cry for as little as 30 minutes can have long reaching damaging affects to a child's developing brain. It causes stress hormones to flood their system and cut off the flow of oxygen to their developing brain. There is a post just a little way down about a piece that Dr. Sears did on this very subject.

The fact is that gut wrenching feeling you get when your baby cries is natural. It is your instinct telling you to go to your baby and take care of them. It is natures way of protecting and caring for babies. Only humans would turn it around and try to turn off the instinct insisting that their babies are trying to manipulate them. Babies do not have wants vs needs. Everything is a need for them. Even touch is a need. Babies cannot sooth themselves, they are not built for it.


That was nicely put!!

I think we all have different versions of what CIO means. When I say I use CIO, I do what most people are saying isn't CIO.

Are there really people that leave a baby in a dark room alone to cry for an hour...half and hour? Who does that, and why would anyone think that is ok, let alone GOOD??
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Old 01-23-2007, 10:29 PM   #39
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

I do not like the term "Cry it out". It sounds so harsh. We tried a few times to let her cry until she fell asleep and it was a disaster. BUT at 11 months I was so tired of getting up every 2-3 hours to feed her.

I read the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight" and it presents a more tolerable way to let your baby learn to put themselves to sleep. You put them in their crib but sit right next to them in a chair for 3 nights. THen you sit in a chair across the room for 3 nights, then in the doorway for 3 and then you leave them. It worked marvelously for us and after only a few nights there was almost no fussing. Since I was in the room with her I felt that I was not abandoning her and she knew I was there for her.
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Old 01-23-2007, 10:37 PM   #40
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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I asked her one time how long it should go on and she said that an hour was not too long.
IMO this is plain wrong. There is a huge difference between a baby fussing for 5-10 minutes and letting them cry for an hour until they wear themselves out. That social worker was very wrong. As a health care worker or caretaker, if you let an elderly person in a nursing home or a paraplegic cry for help for 30 minutes, let alone an hour you would be liable for abuse- how is this any different?
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