View Poll Results: Am I the most evil mother on the face of the planet?
Yes, you should not have canceled his party, that is just wrong 35 12.64%
No, he needs to learn his lesson 222 80.14%
Not the most evil but you're up there behind Joan Crawford 20 7.22%
Voters: 277. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-23-2010, 08:57 PM   #1
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I canceled ods birthday party

I don't feel the least bit bad about it either, but I'm sure it makes me the Worlds Meanest Mother EVER.

We've been having LOTS of issues with him being ungrateful. Just flat out rude and ungrateful. At Christmas he kept saying "That's all I get?" "Why don't I have more presents?" we tried talking to him about being grateful, thankful for what people give him. How some boys and girls don't have ANY toys (we don't have a homeless shelter anywhere near by so I couldn't take him to a soup kitchen or anything). Well he kept on with the ungrateful attitude.

If we tried to do ANYTHING nice for him it was "Why didn't I get more?" honest to God.

Well flash forward to today, we're in Target. The kids were actually being pretty good sitting in the cart so I told them I'd get them both something out of the $1 bin. Well they didn't have ANYTHING for a boy so I told him I'd get him a hotwheels car ($0.97). We walk back to the cars and I grab a couple to let him choose and he grabs this $10 set with a track and I say "No, we're not getting that. You are getting ONE car, that's it." he argues that it is one car...with a track. I say yeah, but you're getting one of these cars. Now pick or I will pick for you. He again demands the car with the track, wants the track. I say no and DH picks a car and I hand it to him and we leave...the whole time he is whining and screaming and throwing a fit because he is wanting this $10 set. Finally he pretty much stops but then 5 minutes later he lays in that he wants another toy, why can't he have another toy. On and on and on. Finally I took the car and put it back on the shelf. I told him if that car isn't good enough he's not getting anything (the whole time DD was sitting there with her $1 tutu hugging it and calling it 'pretty girl' ).

This resulted in him SCREAMING at the top of his lungs clear through Target...clear to the check out, and out to our van.

I've had enough.

I try to do something nice for him and it just blows up in my face and it isn't effing good enough. Nothing I do is ever good enough for him. He wants more more MORE. I'm DONE. DONE. I don't want to do anything nice for him now because it just results in "Well why didn't you do this? Why did you do this?" It's bulls*it.

So I canceled his birthday party.

We WERE going to go bowling, him and a couple of his friends I was going to do the party package...it's what he asked for for his bday party probably 9 months ago. But now he'll get cake and ice cream at home and that's it. No fun, no party, nothing. I'm not going to kill myself doing nice things for him just to have him whine and complain that it's not enough.

So, am I the most evil mother on the face of the planet??



ETA- I've given him a thousand warnings, I've been telling him for WEEKS (literally) to fix his attitude and knock off the whining/demanding/ungrateful bs or his party was getting canceled. Finally, I've had enough so we're following through. We will have a 'celebration' of sorts at home. We'll do cake and ice cream (candles, a gift...I actually bought his present right after Christmas so it's already bought and wrapped) with DH, DD, YDS and I...but we're not going bowling. I'm not going to spend $40 on a party (plus more money for his gift and cake) he won't even appreciate.

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Old 01-23-2010, 09:12 PM   #2
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I didn't vote, because it's not my place to say how you should parent.

To me though, that sounds like pretty typical behaviour for a little boy tuning 5. Do you or I have to like it? No. Would I have gotten him a car at the store? No. Would I have canceled my son's birthday in your shoes? No way in heck.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:13 PM   #3
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I don't think you're evil at all. Sometimes we need to do drastic things to get the child's attention and show we mean business I remember my parents keeping me home from halloween one year because of my attitude... I thought it was the end of the world at the time, but I survived. I think it's good to have guidelines and consequences. If the child knows that a certain behavour will result in a specific consequnce and they still choose to behave that way, well then they are stuck with consequences. Did you give him a warning that he would loose the party though? It might be a bit harsh if it was totally unexpected... and maybe give him the chance to earn back the party, or something... I dunno, it's a hard one! I'm worried all the time about my DD getting spoiled because she get everything she wants and asks for from the inlaws... I'm dreading the day I hear "well, fine I'll just ask grandma to get it for me" I hope things get better with your DS, being greatful can be a hard lesson to learn and teach.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:15 PM   #4
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I have had problems with DS. He got the threat of not even having a party this year due to his behavior on my b-day 2 months before. I have had 6 b-days since he got sick where he throws a super temper-tantrum or meltdown on my day. The sickness he has has made it like he is a spoiled brat. I call it "entitlement syndrome": where a kid thinks they are allowed to have any and everything they want when they want it, no matter what the cost, and they don't have to do anything for it. Makes it VERY fun in our house.

But I don't think you did anything wrong at all. In fact, if he gets presents he should give them to the goodwill around you. I can't tell you why your DS is like this but it needs to be nipped in the bud now before it gets worse.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:16 PM   #5
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I've been telling him for WEEKS that he needs to fix his attitude (not whine about everything, be grateful for what he's got, not be so demanding, etc) or his party is getting canceled. He completely ignored me and maybe even got worse...so I finally followed through.

His bday is in a week so I don't know if he could earn it back in time. I'm just so sick of his attitude and ungrateful crap...

He'll probably get to keep his presents...haven't completely decided what we're doing there. The only reason we're still doing cake at home is because DD is really looking forward to it.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:19 PM   #6
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

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Originally Posted by lemurmommies View Post
I didn't vote, because it's not my place to say how you should parent.

To me though, that sounds like pretty typical behaviour for a little boy tuning 5. Do you or I have to like it? No. Would I have gotten him a car at the store? No. Would I have canceled my son's birthday in your shoes? No way in heck.
100% agree.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:19 PM   #7
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

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Originally Posted by MamaNae View Post
I've been telling him for WEEKS that he needs to fix his attitude (not whine about everything, be grateful for what he's got, not be so demanding, etc) or his party is getting canceled. He completely ignored me and maybe even got worse...so I finally followed through.
That's what I would have done, then... if he got a warning then he should have listened. I hope it works!
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:19 PM   #8
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

It isn't something I would do, but whatever.
I did vote for option #3 just because it's funny.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:22 PM   #9
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

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Originally Posted by lemurmommies View Post
I didn't vote, because it's not my place to say how you should parent.

To me though, that sounds like pretty typical behaviour for a little boy tuning 5. Do you or I have to like it? No. Would I have gotten him a car at the store? No. Would I have canceled my son's birthday in your shoes? No way in heck.
Isn't it just rewarding his bad behavior? "Oh, you keep being ungrateful and demanding more and more and more from everyone and whining that the 20 presents (total) you got for Christmas wasn't enough and that the special stuff I do for you isn't enough...and I'll still bend over backwards and throw you an awesome party that you won't appreciate." that's what it is. Even if I did the party he'd probably throw a fit because we won't stay there for 4 hours (only a 2 hour package) or he didn't get to bowl enough, or didn't get enough bday presents or didn't get the cake he wanted or on and on and on...I'm just sick of it...

My IL's got him $150 tickets to the Sprint Car Nationals this summer as well as a bunch of toys and he threw a fit at their house because he didn't get 'too many' toys. Honest to goodness. DH even showed him the tickets saying "See, we get to go to the races!" but he wanted more...
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:23 PM   #10
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

the tutu part made me snort and all! and no i don't think ur an evil mama
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