View Poll Results: Am I the most evil mother on the face of the planet?
Yes, you should not have canceled his party, that is just wrong 35 12.64%
No, he needs to learn his lesson 222 80.14%
Not the most evil but you're up there behind Joan Crawford 20 7.22%
Voters: 277. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-23-2010, 09:59 PM   #21
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

Dd turned 5 this month and we've been getting the major ungrateful thing too. My Mom wanted me to have a big party I refused, she got cake and a few presents at home, and we went out to lunch, she got a happy birthday balloon on the way and the staff in Strings started singing and all the other kids in the section did too, she almost cried. I was so happy she was touched not my the stuff she wanted but by the people who didn't even know her singing to her.
You know your child, you do what you have to, we still have a tantrum thing going, but were working on it. I hope this works for your child, just don't rub it in or remind him he's not getting a party because, it's still his special day.

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Old 01-23-2010, 10:06 PM   #22
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

have the party without present. No kid deserves to go without celebrating his birthday.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:07 PM   #23
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I think you did the right thing, you can still have a special day at home. Just do cake with the family and give him his gift from you guys, if he has been that ungrateful about everything and you have warned him then I think taking away the bowling trip is an acceptable punishment, it is not like he is not getting anything done for his bday.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:10 PM   #24
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

You might want to add the info you put in your second post to the OP...so people know you're still celebrating, just not doing the bowling thing.

I say, stick to your guns, mama. Too many people won't anymore, and, franky, America is raising a lot of brats!
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:28 PM   #25
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I don't think you are mean at all. I think you are nicer than I would be. I would cancel the party for sure and if he wanted his presents from family and friends that sent them I would make him 'earn' them and/or a home party by making some changes. Good for you mama. I am sure it is as hard on you to follow through as it will be on him but I am sure it will be a good lesson!
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:29 PM   #26
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

Mama, what you did took a big pair, and more parents need to be that willing to go the extra mile to remind their kids that the world does not rotate around them. It may be drastic to cancel his birthday party, but seriously, if you don't catch it now it could get MUCH worse. I applaud you for your strength and I hope this gets the message out to him loud and clear that as much as you love him, you're not his doormat!
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:35 PM   #27
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

Quote:
Originally Posted by lemurmommies View Post
I didn't vote, because it's not my place to say how you should parent.

To me though, that sounds like pretty typical behaviour for a little boy tuning 5. Do you or I have to like it? No. Would I have gotten him a car at the store? No. Would I have canceled my son's birthday in your shoes? No way in heck.

Same. I likely would not have cancelled the party. at not even 5 kids don't really understand grateful vs greedy etc... I would just take more time to teach him about it. Use the computer as a teaching tool to help him learn that not everyone lives the way you do etc... Watch World Vision on Sundays. There is a lot that you can do, children don't understand that not everyone lives like them.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:38 PM   #28
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I read this to DH to get his opinion on it.. and we both agree.... good for you mama.

It's hard to say what I would or wouldn't do in your shoes.. because I'm not IN your shoes. We have a 2 year old DD and a boy on the way, and who knows what might happen in the future with us. But if I had a kid acting that way, I probably would have done something similar.
We just went to DH's 9 year old niece's birthday party. DD saw the present when we were going out the door and thought it was for her. I explained that yes it was a present, but it was for her cousin and not for her. She was just excited that there were presents, it didn't matter who it was for. And by the time we got to the party (which was at Chuck E Cheese.. of course) she was so happy to be there she didn't care about any presents.

OP - your tutu comment made me think of my DD... she would totally have done the same thing.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:54 PM   #29
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I voted "No." There are children who don't have any toys. Children who don't have anything to eat.. and part of our job as parents it teach our children graciousness, respect and thankfullness for the things they have.

I think his attitude sucks and he needs an adjustment. You've been warning for weeks to check himself or you would cancel his party.

I think it will be a good lesson. Next year he may actually be greatful for a birthday party with his friends.

I know it stinks to have to be "the bad guy" sometimes...but hey, it's part of being a parent, and it's part of teaching them life lessons. He's not always going to get what he wants when he hits the adult world, so why let him think that he can always get what he wants now?

God bless,
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:00 PM   #30
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Re: I canceled ods birthday party

I completely agree that children need to have consequences for their actions and that too many parents let their children get away with heck. The Fancy Pansy said it all - America is raising a lot of brats! Stick to your guns and don't let anybody make you feel guilty about it.
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