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Old 01-27-2010, 01:49 PM   #1
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So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

This has been on my mind for about 5 yrs, this week, to be exact,
So about 5 yrs. ago, our first was 3 months old, and we were very young. I "felt different", took an E.P.T., and it was positive. My husband and I didn't tell anyone else about the positive test. Less than 2 wks. later, I had a heavier than usual period start in the evening, that was pretty painful.
(I never have cramps, either, if that means anything.)
I never went to the dr., to be examined.
Several months after, I called my OB, and asked, the nurse said it was probably an early miscarriage, and that the E.P.T.'s usually don't give a false positive.
I've heard that's it's really common for women to have early miscarriages, that most women have at least one in life, and don't even realize that they were pregnant.
Well, like I said this happened about 5 yrs. ago, and I don't know if I should count it as a miscarriage, or just forget about it. I know there are so many mamas that carry sooo much longer, even full term and lose babies, so I fell wrong to say that I lost a baby, but don't how I should think, possibly that we would have had another child, about 7 months after that?
Any response are welcome...
Thanks.

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Old 01-27-2010, 01:53 PM   #2
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

It does sound like an early miscarriage. I had one right before DS was conceived--I knew I was pregnant, got a faint BFP, and then only a couple of days later started bleeding. It was way "different" than a period, too, not to be TMI. Then the next month I got pg with DS, and the MW didn't really want to "count" it as a m/c.
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:56 PM   #3
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

If you feel you lost a baby then that's how you should feel. And, no, it isn't abnormal. You haven't forgotten it by now, and you probably won't. But, everything happens for a reason and (hopefully) makes us who we are today.
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Old 01-27-2010, 02:49 PM   #4
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

yep, probably what it was. One of our twins died around 5.5 weeks but to me it was a real little baby and i grieve over him/her and you should too. Big hugs!
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Old 01-27-2010, 03:04 PM   #5
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

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Old 01-27-2010, 03:19 PM   #6
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

Thank you, mama's this helps.
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Old 01-27-2010, 04:24 PM   #7
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

That happened to me before I got pregnant with #1. I was only 5 weeks. I hated saying that I'd had one miscarriage when asked about my history. I didn't feel like I lost a baby, since it had been so early, even though we were very much trying to get pregnant. When I moved states and switched providers, I quit telling them I've had a miscarriage. Early miscarriages are very common so I don't feel like it's significant to my ob history. Like you dr said, many women probably don't even know they've had an early miscarriage and just thought they had a long cycle.
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Old 01-27-2010, 07:50 PM   #8
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

Like you, I've also had to wonder because many, many years ago I had a similar situation except I never took an HPT. I never had regular periods and so never thought anything of it. One night my then boyfriend and I were rough housing and suddenly I felt very sick and my abdomen started cramping. I spent the next couple hours on the toilet and then in the bath cleaning up. It was like a gunshot victim, I swear....I had absolutely no idea what was happening. The next day I called my gynecologist and told him what happened and he told me it was probably a miscarriage since I wasn't bleeding anymore. I never did go in for an exam or take a pregnancy test. I just didn't want to think about it since I was 19 years old and in a relationship with a total punk for only 3 months or so.

Fast forward to now, nearing 30 years old with 2 more miscarriages under my belt, yeah I mourn that baby too even though there is no "confirmation" I was really pregnant or I just had some sort of 2 hour period. But I think I know in my heart of hearts that was my first baby and I'm saddened that I never properly mourned its life and death.

The point is miscarriage is a very personal thing...whether you're 3 weeks or full term, the loss of a child is a loss and you are entitled to mourn that loss in any way you choose.
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Old 01-27-2010, 08:03 PM   #9
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

It sounds like it to me too. I also agree that it is absolutely okay for you to say you lost a baby. It really doesn't matter if you were pregnant for 2 days or 9 months. It's a baby and a real loss to you and your family. I lost a baby at 5.5wks. I still think about it. We know that our baby is now in heaven. If anyone tries to act any differently, just ignore them.
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Old 01-27-2010, 08:44 PM   #10
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Re: So, this has been a question for ~5yrs...possible miscarriage?

Sounds like a miscarriage to me. I've always felt that not only do you lose a baby, you lose all those hopes and dreams. You thought about the future with that baby, you dreamed about birthing that baby and you prepared mentally (no matter how long you knew you were pregnant). So no matter how early, or even in the cases where it is a blighted ovum with no embryo, I think it counts. If you FELT the loss, then you lost a baby.
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