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Old 09-18-2010, 09:46 AM   #181
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

no family has said anything so far, but they all kind of did the same thing. the amber necklaces were a new thing both family's haven't seen but they all thought it looked cute.

my MIL cloth diapered, co slept (my BIL coslept till he was 8...eep), and BF'd. My mom BF'd, coslept, and did babywearing. I didn't know my mom babywore us until i came home one day while she was watching DD, and she had DD in a back carry and i never taught her LOL!

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Old 09-18-2010, 09:48 AM   #182
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

Our sleeping arrangements seem to get the most comments from both sides of the family, as well as friends, neighbours, and health professionals. I don't even bring it up, but I don't know why everyone cares so much about our sleep. Apparently by 6 months, he should be sleeping through the night in a crib by himself and we need to let him CIO in order to learn this. I understand objections to cosleeping for safety reasons, but any other reason is just not anyone's business.

My mother made many natural choices herself (breastfed and natural childbirth, etc) and my SIL broke in my MIL on those things so they haven't been issues (although extended BFing might be, and certainly my in-laws are concerned that I am not feeding him enough solid food at 8 months--this comes up at every family gathering). They didn't understand CDing because my mother did it out of necessity and no one could understand why I would choose to use them when I didn't need to, but after seeing them, they think they are cute, and after seeing me use them for 6 months, they realize that they work for us, so they don't say anything. Actually, the one time my mother changed DS's diaper, she put it on WAY too lose, as if she couldn't figure out how to use the snaps properly, and the in-laws have not ever been in a position to change his diaper because a) they seem to be scared to be alone with him now, apparently because he doesn't sleep! and b) I haven't been brave enough to discuss intact care with them (DH is circ'd so I would need to discuss this before leaving him in their care--I'm not sure if they realize DS is intact yet, but they have watched me change his diaper).
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:02 AM   #183
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

It is probably a toss up between not circumcising and homeschooling. Both falling on my side. My IL's were only thrown off by my kids' names and only made mention of that with Kearnan (I made a big enough issue of it that they didn't dare say a word when Tharen came along). My MIL co-slept, cloth diapered, breast fed, and home schooled at least with dh. They do a lot of natural remedies so my not vaccinating and choosing to use homeopathics part time doesn't shock them and they like it. They think babywearing is neat and like that the boys like it. My mother also breast fed, co-slept, and carried me in one of those original snugglies. After Kearnan's reaction to the MMR vaccine no one has argued with me about not getting him any more vaccines and they didn't really think getting Tharen any was such a good idea, especially since our pediatrician (who was also my pediatrician) seemed to be on my side. They are also obviously old enough to have had many of the diseases we now vaccinate against and don't see what the big fuss is all about. So that just left the circumcision thing, the amber necklaces, and home schooling. No one really cared about the amber necklaces, thought they were cute, if they worked great, if not oh well. My mom asked why we didn't have Tharen circumcised. I told her it was no longer recommended, they realized there were no medical benefits. She said "oh, when your brother was born they told us it reduced infections." I told her "they found out the reduction was so low it wasn't worth it." She said "Oh, that's good to know." And dropped it. She is very analytical that way. She isn't swayed by emotion much, though more so now than when she was younger. If you can give her a good scientific reason for something she just goes with it. My dad was hung up on it for a long time though. He was sure it was going to be a huge issue because who was going to teach Tharen to clean it, how to pee standing up, wasn't he going to be upset it looked different on and on and on. Well my father is so shy about nudity that he didn't teach my brother to pee standing up. We have no idea how my brother learned. As far as I know my brother has never seen my father nude, I know I haven't. So I have no idea why he is caught up on this. In our family (dh, the boys and myself) we are open about these things and I don't foresee any issues. We will discuss everything openly. I am sure he will manage to learn to pee standing up (something I intend to have dh teach him very soon) and when he is older we will teach him how to clean it. Right now he isn't retractable and it isn't an issue. The IL's never made mention of his intact status. The first time they babysat for us DH made a huge issue about their not retracting him during diaper changes. I swear I wanted to smack him cause he was teasing his mom so much. But no one has said a word about it.

My mother is not so supportive on the whole homeschooling thing. She wasn't supportive from day one. I have always planned on homeschooling if I had kids. I hated my school experience and she knows it. She thinks I am just being rebellious and difficult. When Kearnan was diagnosed ASD I think she decided I would have to send him to school and that would be the end of it because I wouldn't be able to handle home schooling him, but I'm still at it. Ever so often she will grudgingly admit he is doing well. I did send him to charter school briefly, and she was thrilled. But even she had to admit it didn't go well. She is always encouraging me to look in to other charter schools. She has admitted that the local ISD is not the answer for him. Their opinion on what to do with ASD kids is not encouraging. Even if I kept him home and let him play video games all day he would be no worse off than what they would do with him. Probably better actually. But she still doubts my abilities to educate my own child. However Kearnan and I work very well together, especially recently. We have a good rhythm going and we are covering material at light speed. Now I am the first to admit I don't know how school is going to work with Tharen but we will cross that bridge when we come to it (very soon it seems). My father is more supportive in this area. He worries about what happens if Kearnan wants to go to college but I figure I will enroll him in one of the online charters for high school or let him take community college classes starting at 15 or so and it won't be a problem. Our state is pretty flexible. My MIL is super supportive which is surprising because she is a teacher. But she always tells me what a good job I am doing, even if she is only saying it to be nice I appreciate the support.
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:24 AM   #184
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

everything! cding was the first, they all said it was gross and asked if i had to touch the poo, lol...i dont know how many times ive had a leak and people freak out,i just say pee is sanitary!! and then everything else followed, when i wore the moby wrap i would get the look like im squishing her or she is uncomfortable, one day i went to my brothers soccer game and cam was wearing some wool shorties and everyone was telling me im so mean bc she is too hot in those ugly things, lol...i get made fun of for still having my kids in 5pt harnesses, people say " are you going to make them go to middle school in a carseat?" um, probably, lol...now, im pulling my son out of pre-k bc i just dont like it and people are going crazy on me, bad mom, etc...im not super crunchy, but these choices ive made are still different so people act like they are bad???
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Old 09-18-2010, 12:38 PM   #185
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

Most Let's see my mom for the most part just goes with the flow. She doesnt get my carseat hang UPS especially with my nephew who she is raising. Is fine with cd but grossed out by cloth wipes..god forbid i ever mention mama cloth. However, I do think that she thinks i justjump on bandwagons.

Im working on all natural cleaners an better eating.

My husband is a problem with cloth wipes and erf. Also with organic food he whines about cost. Also me bfing in public weirds him out.

Inlaws everything is nuts..to make matters worse they don't like to follow our rules. Don't get no pop or juice. Or no certain foods.. mil complained about bfing an cding. Unless we are here dd is ok sposies at inlaws. but i won't buy them. Tons of things i wont even remotely bring up bc it will be an argument.
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Old 09-18-2010, 01:35 PM   #186
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

The only thing I had comments on was breastfeeding past 3 months, and then (gasp) past 6 and they had stopped noticed when I went past a year.
Also postponing solids until 6 months and not giving bottles of water they were sure that she would starve and dehydrate.
Everyone thought the cloth diapers were a great idea!
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Old 09-18-2010, 01:51 PM   #187
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

i read through some of this and i just don't understand why cloth diapering would be considered "gross". any kind of diaper you use, you still deal with poop and pee. it's just that cloth diapers are washed and used again.

what's the big deal with that one?
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Old 09-18-2010, 02:33 PM   #188
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

Leaving my son intact probably was the most shocking for the few people that know about it. My mom was really opposed to it but it wasn't really her business...Mostly because they are all from the era of "everyone else is doing it so it must be normal".

Home birth they have been ok with for the most part. Once they realized I wasn't some weak and frail thing that would keel over dead with the first non-medicated contraction and now that I have had 3 very easy and successful home births it never really comes up. My husband's family has no problem with this since 3 of his 6 siblings were born at home and his oldest sister is a midwife. They are also big on breastfeeding and some use cloth diapers so total acceptance there too.

Gentle discipline is something I kind of keep to myself since both of our families are religious and hold to "spare the rod, spoil the child". I just told them spanking didn't work for us and left it at that.
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Old 09-18-2010, 02:46 PM   #189
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by steph410 View Post
i read through some of this and i just don't understand why cloth diapering would be considered "gross". any kind of diaper you use, you still deal with poop and pee. it's just that cloth diapers are washed and used again.

what's the big deal with that one?
I think it's the "wash and reuse" part of cloth diapering. Many people think that it means that you have poop in your washer, and the thought of putting something on that has been pooped/peed on (even though it's washed) is gross. I obviously don't have a problem with that though, since I smell the diapers when I take them out of the dryer
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Old 09-18-2010, 02:55 PM   #190
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

Breastfeeding for a year. They all knew it was best and natural and yadda yadda yadda but once we passed about 3 months I started hearing questions about when I would wean. Uhh... I dunno, ask the baby!
My parents knew how much it meant to me to make it at least a year and my mom promised not to say anything about my breastfeeding until DD2 came home from the first grade and asked to nurse just her way of saying she'll leave it alone, I laughed my butt off.
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