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Old 02-05-2010, 10:40 AM   #61
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

I'm not sure what my MIL says to my DH, but I'm pretty sure he keeps a lot of that discussion to himself. But, she's constantly comparing DS and what we do with DS with her friends granddaughter that is the same age. It was worse when they were younger - it would be well Nicki's granddaughter's doctor said a bottle of formula at night will help her sleep through the night, and Nicki's granddaughter is eating a ton of solid food, what does DS eat?? Stuff like that.

My mother gave me a kind of disgusted look when she found out that DS is basically dry nursing right now due to the pregnancy hormones. I'm pretty sure she thinks its really weird he wants to suck on my boob and not get milk, and that I allow that. BUT - I'll give her credit, she didn't actually SAY anything.

This baby will be a homebirth and when I told her about that, she lost it! We had a long discussion - and she's still not on board. I told her at least I'm having a midwife! haha. The in-laws live out of state, so they don't NEED to know about the homebirth thing until after the fact. I'm leaving that up to DH. While talking to my mother about homebirth, she asked if the midwife will circ. And I said no, IF we get it done we have to find a pediatric urologist. OMG - she was like "what do you mean IF - you HAVE to" She went on and on about its cleaner and stuff. I told her I would not discuss my son's p*nis with her. At that point we didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. Jeeze!


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Old 02-05-2010, 11:16 AM   #62
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

#1. not vaxing (my side of the family)

#2. breast feeding after the baby "got teeth in"

#3. Homeschooling (DH's side of the family)

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Old 02-05-2010, 11:19 AM   #63
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

No CIO I think is the biggest one for my family. They are always telling me "you know you can just let him cry, he'll be ok". I usually say that I don't agree but I don't want to get into it because I know my mom let my sisters and I cry and my sister let her 2 girls CIO. So if I say "you don't KNOW that he will be ok (ie: what non visible damage to his self esteem, etc. that CIO may cause)" because I know they would be offended since they made the choice to CIO. My intention is not to criticize anyone elses way of parenting, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do the same things with my babv.

My mom has tried to convince me to get DS to sleep in the crib and now he is sleeping on a mattress on the floor in his room and she kind of rolls her eyes at that. But I think after we visited and she tried to put him in the crib (unsuccessfully) that she understands a little bit better now.

Cloth diapers I haven't heard too many negative comments just my sister that said I would never stick with it. She is big on convenience so she doesn't really get it.

Vaxing... I just don't discuss it with them. My mom knows we are delaying and spreading them out. I'm not sure she agrees but she hasn't said anything negative.
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Old 02-05-2010, 11:22 AM   #64
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

For MY family it's probably not vaccinating. For DH's family it'll be not circ'ing DS2. They're VERY VERY VERY pro-circ, it's gonna be WW3 when they realize DS2 isn't circ'ed.

And in general homeschooling...we hear about this one non-stop and it'll just get worse as September draws nearer (DS is 5 now, he could start school in September, they'll never buy that I'm Red Shirting him because he's crazy smart he probably could have started Kindergarten in 2009)
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Old 02-05-2010, 11:29 AM   #65
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

The cloth diapers. They thought I was cazy. The lady I work for said that her and her husband said "we'll see how long that lasts" But everyone was thinking about the stone age diapers. Once they saw my diapers they were very impressed. One of my sisters thought I was crazy too but she askes a lot of questions and souds interested in them. She is in the process of adopting a baby because they were told their chances of getting pregnant were 1 in a million and now they are pregnant. So I thnk it would be a good idea to try cloth diapering since they arehaving a hard enough time with money. I told her when she comes she has to try mine to see if she likes them because I will buy her some if she does.
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Old 02-05-2010, 11:34 AM   #66
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

I guess I am very lucky, because my SIL is crunchy like me and she had kids first so all the shock was gone when I started and make the same choices. I don't really talk to anyone about the non-vaxing simply because they haven't researched it and its pointless for me to listen to their criticism.
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Old 02-05-2010, 11:42 AM   #67
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

It's different with each child, I guess.

With DS, people were most freaked out by extended breastfeeding (he weaned at 32 months), no refined sugar for the first year, and cloth diapering.

With DD, my family was used to everything else but totally freaked by my choice to UC. Friends were mostly just, "Wow, that's different," but okay with it. Friends are mostly weirded out by extended rear-facing in the car, cloth diapering, and babywearing.

A lot of my local friends are delayed/selective vaxers, so that's not as unusual to them. My parents were weirded out by not vaxing at first but once I explained my reasons to them, they came around and even apologized for not making informed decisions about vaxing me and my brother as children.
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Old 02-05-2010, 11:48 AM   #68
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

My family isn't bothered by my natural parenting, after all I learned most of it from them. The one thing that does puzzle them is the erf'ing and my "expensive car seats". They think I'm wasting my money by not buying 10yr old cheap carseats from rummage sales! Other then that they are onboard with everything I do. Although, I get alot of crap from my mom for not homeschooling. I would love to homeschool, but dh said he would divorce me if I kept homeschooling dd
Inlaws are freaked out by EVERYTHING I do. First it was having a midwife (in a hospital!!), then it was natural birth. Our natural diet is very foreign to them and they think it's just crazy. Breastfeeding a newborn was upsetting to them and but even more so when they realized that I was going to do child led weaning, and then they couldn't believe that I would nursed through pregnancy and tandem nurse. We don't use baby food or spoonfeed, so they didn't like that. FIL is always making comments that don't feed my babies. They thought using cloth diapers was strange, but were proud when the kids have all pottytrained very young and say it's cause of the cloth. They don't like the babywearing and wish that we would just get a stroller and toddler leash for them so that we would look "normal". They see co-sleeping as dangerous and wish that the baby was "safe in a crib". They hate that the kids erf til 35lbs and that all the kids are still in 5pt harnesses. They wish that I would have the kid's to the dr and get antibiotics and steriod shots with every cold or fever. They are horrified that we didn't circ our ds's and are sure that they will have tons of infections and have to have it done later.
The good thing is that inlaws will not say any of their opinions to my face, so I don't have to deal with it in that way. MIL askes me how I do things and when I answer, she always says I'm doing great and that I'm such a good mommy and that she agrees with everything I do. Then her and fil go home and call up dh and ream him out for all the damage we are doing to the children. They seriously make him doubt all the stuff we do, but he has continued to let me make the parenting choices even when he's not sure if it's a great idea. Luckily he has seen how well our choices work for us and gets more on board with each child.
I think that part of the problem with inlaws is that they firmly believe that their son is perfect (he's an only) and that it's all due to their parenting, so they are very offended that I'm doing almost EVERYTHING differently. I also think that mil had an image of what being a grandmother would be like, I think she thought that she would "teach" us how to be parents and she feels hurt that her idea of how it would be was taken away from her. I try not to talk about how we do things, but she is always asking. When I answer I work hard to phrase my answers so that it doesn't sound like my way is better, just a different way of doing things.
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Last edited by mamoo3; 02-05-2010 at 12:09 PM.
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Old 02-05-2010, 12:57 PM   #69
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

Um....none so far? Both sides have been onboard w/everything so far - either b/c they did it (like CDing and BFing), or b/c they're keeping their mouths shut. Homeschooling might be an isssue on DH's side, but I don't know if it's going to be feasible to HS our kids since I work full-time. I have to get DH onboard w/it first.
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Old 02-05-2010, 01:19 PM   #70
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Re: What "natural" parenting choice freaked your family and friends out the most?

I love this thread- great idea OP!!

Im not that crunchy (I dont think...) but CD really threw them all for a loop ("Ewww thats so gross!, Where do you put the poop?!, THOSE are cloth diapers?!?!?" )

I have BF all my kiddos for some time or another but when DS3 didnt wean until two, I was hearing "How long are you gonna do that?, He's not gonna learn to soothe himself if your always popping that in his mouth!, and my personal favorite... He's not getting enough nutrition since your wasting his appetite!"

Then there is always ERF, ext harnessing, no CIO, no spanking... the list goes on.

I am just starting to have a little interest in mama cloth and I dont even think my liberal mother could handle that one! LOL
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