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Old 02-04-2010, 02:54 PM   #1
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Need some opinions...what would you do?

It has to do with my older kids. I have started picking them up at school again and it cuts my nap time from an hour nap to either no nap or a 15 min. nap. It's making my afternoons and evenings really, really rough. I'm tired. It's the only chance I have all day to take a nap and possibly get a little quiet time. I am finding that my patience is gone and I'm starting to break down. I know it's the sleep issue. They could ride the bus. I've never made them ride the bus before. It's not a long ride, most of the kids in the neighborhood ride the bus. The bus drops them off right at the end of the road. The little kids that live beside us ride the bus home, while I wake up my newborn and 2 yo from a nice nap, load them into the car and drive to the school to pick up my kids. It drives me crazy. My kids hate riding the bus though. They say it's loud and crazy on the bus. They refuse to ride it. I am contemplating giving them the ultimatum of 'either ride the bus or find another way home, I'm not going to pick you up'. I feel so bad though. They haven't done anything wrong and it feels like punishment to me. They are already annoyed about the loss of attention they get because of the babies. My daughter made a snide comment about having to ride in the back of the van because the babies were in the middle seats. It sounds simple, but my kids especially my son has a bit of agoraphobia (he hates crowds and noise, to the point that he wears earplugs at the movie theatre and skips lunch altogether because he hates the commotion and noise in the school cafeteria). I know it's a big deal for them, but I need rest. What would you do? As I mentioned, there are no neighbors for me to carpool with because either they live miles away in the opposite direction or their kids are riding the bus. Good grief. I'm about ready to call a taxi cab to pick them up. Don't think they would go for that either though.

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Old 02-04-2010, 02:59 PM   #2
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

I'm not a mom of older kids but my brother is 14. My mom takes him to school but because of work, she can't pick him up. I think I'd feel upset like you as well but they are old enough to do well on the bus and might even make a new friend or two? You can always give it a go and see how it works out. I think if it came down to my sanity or the bus, I'd pick the bus :-D Good luck with whatever you choose mama!
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Old 02-04-2010, 03:00 PM   #3
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

Maybe you could make a deal with them that they ride the bus every MWF and you pick them up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That would be meeting in the middle. Then maybe after a little while of riding the bus they might decide they like it enough to ride it all the time.
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Old 02-04-2010, 03:47 PM   #4
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

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Maybe you could make a deal with them that they ride the bus every MWF and you pick them up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That would be meeting in the middle. Then maybe after a little while of riding the bus they might decide they like it enough to ride it all the time.
I was thinking the same thing exactly. I am having some of the same issues. It is hard to tAke care of yourself and not have your other kids feel displaced. It is like walking a very thin line. The joys of parenting...eternal guilt.
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Old 02-04-2010, 03:54 PM   #5
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

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Maybe you could make a deal with them that they ride the bus every MWF and you pick them up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That would be meeting in the middle. Then maybe after a little while of riding the bus they might decide they like it enough to ride it all the time.
i think this is a good compromise too. You've got to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of them. It's not safe for you to drive that tired either. *hugs8
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Old 02-04-2010, 04:02 PM   #6
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

for you Laine.
I like the compromise of taking the bus a few days a week. Your kids are old enough to understand what is going on and hopefully unselfish enough to come to an agreement on a bus schedule. I did not like taking the bus as a kid but I had no choice. I survived
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Old 02-04-2010, 04:46 PM   #7
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

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Maybe you could make a deal with them that they ride the bus every MWF and you pick them up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That would be meeting in the middle. Then maybe after a little while of riding the bus they might decide they like it enough to ride it all the time.
I totally agree. Both the older kids are old enough to realize that a) sleep is a necessity and b) that when a new sibling comes into the house, things do change. For better or worse, that's how it is. I'd tell them that riding the bus a few days a week is not an option unless they can find another way home. That they are welcome to ride as often as they want, but MWF are required for a difficult situation.
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Old 02-04-2010, 05:46 PM   #8
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

Yes. I think a compromise may be the answer. Perhaps until they get used to the idea, I can weigh it heavily in their favor. As in, just ride the bus one day next week and as a reward we'll take them ice skating on Sunday or something along those lines. They are old enough to understand that I need to get some rest. I think it's a mental block for them though. They have built up in their minds that it's an awful thing to have to ride the bus. I confess that I have mentioned not liking to ride the bus as a kid to them and my DH has commented many, many times how he would rather walk home than ride the bus as a kid.
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Old 02-04-2010, 05:56 PM   #9
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

can you find a neighbor to trade off with? you take her child to school, she brings yours home?
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Old 02-04-2010, 06:13 PM   #10
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Re: Need some opinions...what would you do?

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can you find a neighbor to trade off with? you take her child to school, she brings yours home?
I've tried that. I live in the country so not many neighbors to start with that have kids. But, all the neighbors with kids I do have get their kids to ride the bus. I actually have one neighbor kid that used to like to ride home with me sometimes because she hated to ride the bus. Her mom refuses to pick her up though. Most people around here think I'm nuts for picking them up.
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