Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-07-2010, 10:03 AM   #1
Squig'sMumMum's Avatar
Squig'sMumMum
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeastern USA
Posts: 4,959
Question Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

My DD's hospital birth is not something I want to repeat, it makes me very angry and depressed every time I think back to it. I didn't want a hospital birth in the first place, but my midwives didn't do home births... So next time I want to do things differently, and while next time isn't even in the works yet, I want to be prepared, have all my ducks in a row. At least as much as I can

How did you find and/or pick you midwife?

Did you start your prenatal care with them, or did you switch later in your pregnancy? (UC is not something DH and I are comfortable with) I will need early prenatal care (specifically for ultrasound) as my first pregnancy was ectopic and we need to make sure early on that baby is in the right spot and growing okay I can do that with my current midwives, but staying with them is not an option if I want HB and I am not sure how/when I would tell them that.

Doula- We hired one for DD's birth and she was great, but do we need one for a home birth? When I think home birth, I assume the midwife is there with you and helping you, not having to check on a jillion other patients and leaving you alone. Am I wrong? Or does it depend on your specific midwife as to how soon they arrive on the scene?

Did you have any problems acquiring a birth certificate or SSN for your baby? I have heard a few parents who had home births were given a hassle, and that scares me a bit.

If you had older children, were they present at the birth, elsewhere in the home, or did you "send them away"? DD will probably be around 3, and I have no interest in sending her elsewhere. Part of why I want a home birth for sure, because I am not dropping her off so mommy can go have a baby. I can see that she may not be ready to be present at the birth (I imagine we'll have to see where her maturity level is at and how she deals with me being in the early stages of labour), but she should be okay to still be home with supervision right?

Was your home birth experience good or bad? If you have had a hospital birth and a home birth, I would love a comparison

And lastly, any books you recommend to prepare? I have Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth" and "The Thinking Woman's Guide", and am thinking I should probably grab Spiritual Midwifery too. Anything else?

I hope I don't sound like a crazy person! I just want to have some starting points and know where to set my expectations

Advertisement

__________________
DH & I happily welcomed Squig March '08 and Hiccup March '12

If there are any typos or grammatical errors I was probably NAK, apologies in advance!
Squig'sMumMum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 12:30 PM   #2
kidpsych2be's Avatar
kidpsych2be
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: OV4LYF
Posts: 12,270
My Mood:
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

Well I haven't had my HB yet - we're planning one for this baby who is due toward the end of April.

I will answer some of your questions though!

Originally I had planned on laboring and delivering in the Birthing Center attached to the hospital which is where my birth was planned for Gianna. I ended up getting sectioned though. Anyway, because of the c-section, I "risked out of" the Birthing Center and was going to have to deliver in L&D. I didn't find this out until my 16 weeks appointment. So I thought about it for a couple weeks, interviewed local midwives who came recommended and upon that visit I decided home birth was for us.

So I started my care at 18 weeks with them. I had my "big ultrasound" with my OB/midwives practice and transferred. It's been the best decision ever!

I hired a doula before I learned that I wouldn't be able to labor and deliver in the birthing center so I do have one. But I think because I'm having an HBAC I could use all the support I can get, ya know? Would I hire one knowing I was going to go with home birth? Probably not just because of the out of pocket expense, but it is what it is and now we have two midwives and a doula.

My midwives tell me they handle the birth cert and SSN paperwork.

The "plan" is that Gianna will be allowed in the room upstairs (the birthing tub will be set up in the master bedroom upstairs) whenever she wants. My mom will be there to care for her and Jalen if it's during waking hours. Jalen will also be allowed but this is at my husband's discretion because Jalen is his son from a previous marriage and I'm not sure how his bio mother would feel about seeing his stepmom nekkid birthing a baby.


HTH.
__________________
Jenna, mama to Gianna (4/07) and Athena , (T1D) (4/10) and Evanora (2/3/14), my successful VBA2C !!
kidpsych2be is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 12:36 PM   #3
Squig'sMumMum's Avatar
Squig'sMumMum
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeastern USA
Posts: 4,959
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

That does help, thank you for your experience thus far! How did you get your midwife recommendations? I don't know anyone here who has done a home birth (or even used a midwife for that matter, I think I am the only one in my LLL group who has).

ETA: Oh, I really like the plan to allow your daughter in if she wants in, and an alternative for when she wants to be elsewhere in the house. That is what my DH and I were thinking about I don't want her to feel like she can't be a part of such a big family event.
__________________
DH & I happily welcomed Squig March '08 and Hiccup March '12

If there are any typos or grammatical errors I was probably NAK, apologies in advance!

Last edited by Squig'sMumMum; 02-07-2010 at 12:38 PM.
Squig'sMumMum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 01:10 PM   #4
punkinbaby's Avatar
punkinbaby
Registered Users
Formerly: vegaslibra
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,159
My Mood:
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

I started my care with my mw and she gives referrals for ultrasounds. As far as finding her I just asked around and then interviewed her and I loved her.

At my first home birth we had a doula but she wasn't very good so I really felt like she was just overkil and even took away from my experience at time but that was a very unique experience. Many women still have doulas for HBs and think they play a vital roll.

My dd who will be 2.5 when baby two is born will be there and I will have my sister on call to come pick her up if she is not handling it well. If I had someone I was comfortable with I would just have them come stay with dd like Jenna is doing but the only person I'm close with that also lives close by is my sister and she's the least calming person I know.

As far as BC and SSN my MW just filled out a form and we took is to the records dept and got her birth certificate which you need for the SSN but I'm sure it varies state to state.
punkinbaby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 01:44 PM   #5
peaches330's Avatar
peaches330
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NorCal
Posts: 4,041
My Mood:
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

I haven't had my homebirth yet but I will answer as much as I can.

Homebirth isn't popular around here at all and I just happened to stumble across my midwives' website. They normally practice mostly in neighboring counties so I guess that's why I hadn't heard of them before. It was pretty much UC or them and luckily when I met with the main midwife I loved her and loved all of her answers to my questions. I went over a big list of suggestions for questions to ask and picked which questions I felt were important or ones that I felt pertained to me and her answers were what I wanted to hear. Make sure to ask lots of questions when you initially meet... you don't want to end up with a MEDwife who is gonna end up transferring you for a stupid reason.

I didn't start prenatal care with them since I wasn't sure if I was just going to UC or not. I knew I wanted to get a 20 week u/s and so I went to an OB practice (actually 2 because I could stomach going to the first place I went for even a few more visits ) and I ended up meeting with my m/w when I was just around 20 weeks. If I had to do it again I would've just started seeing her initially and been referred out for an u/s, but like I said, I wasn't sure at the time what I wanted to do.

I did not hire a doula. I feel that the care I will get from my midwives is going to be sufficient and don't really see the need to have another person there. I mainly see doulas as a support person and a person to have to speak up for you when you are not in a position to do so. If you have the right m/w you won't have to stand up for yourself and they will be all the support you need. They come when you tell them you're in labor and they stay there til it's all over so I don't see the need for another person. But if you would like one you can of course hire one. I just didn't see the point personally.

My DS was my carbirth baby and after all the hassle I had to go through to get his BC I think a homebirth will be easy . It's usually pretty straight forward and a lot of midwives will do most of the work for you. For the SSN you'll just need to get a copy of the BC once that's taken care of and take it to the SS office and apply for one and they will send you a card in the mail.

I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old and they will be here at the house. As long as it's at a time of day that they're awake I plan on just leaving our bedroom door open and they can come and go as they please. I think my DD will be more into it than DS but if they would rather watch movies or play in the playroom they can do that too. I don't want to exclude them or force them to be in the room. If I were to transfer or if they were really freaking out I would have my grandma come up and take them but I honestly don't anticipate them not being able to handle it and it will probably be pretty fast anyways.

Those are good books to read. A warning about spiritual midwifery... it kinda freaked me out the first time I read it. I don't know why, I just had to keep reminding myself that this was a completely different era . The best informations I've received has been from the internet though.
__________________
*Megan*SAHM to S 9/06 D 11/07 S 2/10 and M 2/13
peaches330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 01:47 PM   #6
eh.muh.lee's Avatar
eh.muh.lee
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 249
My Mood:
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

My homebirth was just what I wanted. I had previously had two horrible hospital births, so I knew immediately after finding out I was pregnant that I would have that baby at home. There were no midwives in the area I lived in, so I had to find midwives in a surrounding area and with two kids, the fact that they were willing to travel to me not only for the birth, but for ALL of the appointments was a plus. You should know which midwives are good for you after meeting them. We knew immediately.

The midwives will refer you to someone for an ultrasound and ours could get them at a discounted price.

I didn't have a doula. With my 2 midwives and husband in the room, I think I had all the support I needed. I mean, who really knows what you need better than DH?

The kids (ages 2 and 3) were supposed to be at our house during early labor and then go to the park with my MIL during really active labor; however, my active labor only lasted about 45 minutes, which was not enough time for them to dress and load up in the car. As a matter of fact, they were getting buckled up in the car when I had the baby! I will tell you that when you are in labor, you have to be totally relaxed and some women find it hard for their labor to progress when their kids are around because they are in "mommy mode." So having your child go do something fun with a relative, making that day a special "big sister/big brother" day might start the mood off right and give you your space to labor. Even hearing the kids made it hard for me to relax.

Relaxation is key. I was only in labor for 4 hours and I attribute that to relaxation. I read both the "Husband-Coached Childbirth : The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth by Dr Bradley and "HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing" by Marie Mongan. From those two books, I picked and choosed what worked for me. I used the relaxation techniques in both books, but the hypnobirthing book gives you actual visualizations to use. Also, just reading the Bradley Method book helped because it tells you why, according to nature, natural birthing should not be painful. It just makes sense.

You can find both books here:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0553375563

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS.../chrisficti-20

To end my NOVEL of a response, I want to tell you that my homebirth experience was the best experience of my life. Watching my body work the way it's supposed to was incredible and the bond I have with my homebirth baby is different. Absolutely NO post partum. NONE! I think it's made me a better mother to my other two.

I applaud you! Homebirthing is the way to go for you and your baby! Way to go!
__________________
smitten kitten for DH David , SAHM to Isak (11/06/05), Elsa (1/28/07) and my first homebirth baby-bean Nora (11/16/09). I'm a hobbyist and peddlin' my wares at my etsy store! www.etsy.com/shop/sweetjubabeans

Please check out my FSOT!
eh.muh.lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 02:17 PM   #7
Squig'sMumMum's Avatar
Squig'sMumMum
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeastern USA
Posts: 4,959
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

Thanks for the great info so far I really appreciate it! Glad to know that the BC and SSN shouldn't be a problem (and we are hoping that by then DH will have started at a job with benefits so we don't have to go through the state like we did for DD. I could see them trying to give me a hassle )

Thanks for mentioning Bradley! We had thought of it last time and ended up going to a different birthing class that cost a lt and taught us -nothing-. I will see about picking that book up too Relaxing was my problem with my labour with DD. I was in early labour for 4 days and couldn't calm down and sleep, so ended up exhausted and dehydrated when I arrived at the L&D... And my not wanting to be there, people not leaving me the hell alone (despite a birth plan), and my distrust of anything associated with the medical field... Well. Things didn't progress well and by pushing stage they were threatening me with the vacuum
__________________
DH & I happily welcomed Squig March '08 and Hiccup March '12

If there are any typos or grammatical errors I was probably NAK, apologies in advance!
Squig'sMumMum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 02:44 PM   #8
Rejoicing
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 250
My Mood:
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

You should get the bradley method childbirth books. Those really were great!!! Childbirth Without fear is outdated, but helps build a foundation. Also Birthing from within has good activities.
I loved my homebirth. I started off with a hospital cnm, but unded up deciding on an uc with a visit from a cpm.
Rejoicing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 03:29 PM   #9
Kaboom's Avatar
Kaboom
Registered Users
Formerly: ErinMartin
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 6,285
My Mood:
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

I'm in a hurry, but just wanted to add that, as a doula, we definitely still help at home births. In fact, MOST of my clients are out-of-hospital clients. Doulas will come and be with you whether you're at 1 cm, or 10 cm - it's whenever you need us. Your midwife will come, but may not stay, if you're not yet in active labor. They may have other clients that are in labor at the same time, may be coming from another birth, or may just need to get their own rest before coming to your birth (I've seen these things happen a few times). We also give dad (or other partners) a break to use the bathroom, get a bite to eat, alternate with massaging (hey, his hands can get tired! And counterpressure takes A LOT of work, especially for a long-labor mama!), etc...

Do I think EVERYONE *needs* a doula? Nope Do I think doulas are still a great thing to have around? Yep!

And also, as a side note, your midwife has things she needs to do besides support you 100% of the time - set up equipment, chart, etc... Of course she'll help you as much as she possibly can, but there will be times she needs to do other things. And her assistant is there for HER, not you. Again, the assistant will also help you as much as she can, but most likely she's a student that's busy learning from her mentor, and may be more focused on things other than your personal comfort. I don't say this to sound mean (so I hope it doesn't come across this way), and your midwife and her assistant WILL be there for you as much as humanly possible, but they do have other job needs that have to be fullfilled.

A doula's job is YOU Not your medical care, not the baby's medical care, but YOUR PERSONAL COMFORT! :-D
__________________
*~*Erin*~*
Proud mama to four

Kaboom Pocket Pants Pattern!
Use code 'DSMAMA10' at checkout for 10% off!
Kaboom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2010, 03:38 PM   #10
copperdo1022's Avatar
copperdo1022
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Portland, Maine
Posts: 1,137
My Mood:
Re: Home Birthing Mamas, I have some questions for you!

I had a homebirth with my DS and it was amazing! I will never birth another way (god willing!) and I highly recommend it to anyone to at least consider! I started out with the early care at the hospital, but then switched to just my MW. I hated going to the hospital and my MW came to me I recommend a birthing tub!!! The best thing ever! And as far as books...."Birthing from Within" is an awesome book especially if you've had a bad experience the first time! Congrats on the home birth!!!

ETA- Oh and as far as the SSN that was easy....and I JUST realized that he doesn't have an actual birth certificate (just the hand written on with his footprints from the MW) and need to get to get that soon! lol I guess I contact the town office?
__________________
Jennifer~ wife to Caleb WAHM to 6 yo Mylan 3.5 yo Aurelia and 18 month old Iris All born at home in the water <3 I am expecting #4 in June! I am also Step-Mom to almost 6 yo Lexi & 3.5 yo Niko
Check out my WAHM wares!


Last edited by copperdo1022; 02-07-2010 at 03:43 PM.
copperdo1022 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.