Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-11-2010, 12:44 PM   #1
charise820's Avatar
charise820
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Out side Fort Hood, Tx
Posts: 5,897
My Mood:
Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

With the surprise of our fourth child and health issues that DH is dealing with I really want to cut the drama out of my life.

But it's hard with a few of the people I want to cut, they are ones that have children i care about or are family. and I want to help but at the same time I tired of the lies that come out there mouth all the time.

With those that are family I can't cut them 100% they are family so how would you deal with them?
And others that it seems they are always there with drama and even though you are trying to ignore them and yet the drama is still there how do deal with that?

thanks

Advertisement

__________________
Charise back to being a SAHM, and going to school for business and planning my next move to take over the world. Help me send my son to Scotland for a trip! Shop my gift basket and flower shop!
charise820 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 12:58 PM   #2
KumfyKozies's Avatar
KumfyKozies
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Somewhere underneath my yarn and fabric hoard in the US of A
Posts: 8,777
My Mood:
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

No advice, just .
__________________
Meg- blessed with four living miracles & my dream guy of ten years
Always missing our Asher Joel, born to Heaven 1/29/15
Creating Essence- My Crafty and Stuff Blog
KumfyKozies™- Etsy Shop
KumfyKozies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 01:04 PM   #3
charise820's Avatar
charise820
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Out side Fort Hood, Tx
Posts: 5,897
My Mood:
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

thanks. it's hard sometimes. let me tell ya
__________________
Charise back to being a SAHM, and going to school for business and planning my next move to take over the world. Help me send my son to Scotland for a trip! Shop my gift basket and flower shop!
charise820 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 01:28 PM   #4
Jenette's Avatar
Jenette
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Central CA
Posts: 1,619
My Mood:
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

I only have the cut them out suggestion. For family I try to arrive early for gatherings and leave early. Drama usually starts as the person arrives which generally is late to family gatherings. I also try not to engage the person/people in discussion on hot topics or chit chat.

Weather can bring about how they drove off the road
Shopping can be they have no money/over spent
you name it they can make it into a disaster

Stick to necessary discussion. I they want to know why your not chatty ... you have your DH, kids and decluttering you life (getting rid of drama is decluttering) to think about.
__________________
Mother to one girl 10/03 and a boy 8/08
Jenette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 01:35 PM   #5
charise820's Avatar
charise820
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Out side Fort Hood, Tx
Posts: 5,897
My Mood:
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

thanks.
__________________
Charise back to being a SAHM, and going to school for business and planning my next move to take over the world. Help me send my son to Scotland for a trip! Shop my gift basket and flower shop!
charise820 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 01:43 PM   #6
Clare378
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,810
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

You can only control those things that are within your control. What other people say or do is not under your control. Therefore, you worry about what you need to worry about and let the rest of them do what they will. If you're taking care of you, your family and your business, don't worry about the rest of it. They can talk all they want, but you keep doing what you can and it will all work out.

I have a few quotes that help me...
People can only affect you to the extent that you let them.
What YOU think of me is none of MY business.
You have to remember that there are people who love you and everyone else can go to ____.
Is this person/situation going to be around in 20 years? Will I care in 20 years?

Last edited by Clare378; 02-11-2010 at 01:58 PM.
Clare378 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 01:50 PM   #7
homebirthmom's Avatar
homebirthmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 8,904
My Mood:
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

I don't agree with the last poster. you can't control people but you CAN get them out of your life!!
sadly I was in the same spot as the original poster and had to let people go. this included my alcoholic parents, on who abused me and tried to do so after I was 20yrs old, and a my father who has never been a dad, never paid child support, never ever been there for me.
I also refused to speak with certain inlaws who treated me badly or swore or drank in front of my kids excessively. one was a racist and said the word "niglet" in front of my kids!!!!!!!!

I dropped a "dear" friend of 17 years last year because she truly poisened my mind and took so much energy from me. yet when i asked for help she would not give back the favor... NOW, w out her here, I feel lonely at times as I told her everything BUt I feel at peace and free.

you must do what you should for the safety of your children and your mind. if this includes taking the "poisen out" which includes family members, old friends or even neighbors, I think you should walk away from them.

trying to constanly deal, or make them understand your point is only causing more stress and pain. its best to let go, the fog will clear and you will feel so much better
__________________
unassisted, homebirthin mom Had I not birthed children into the world and become a mother... I would not know true love, laughter or insanity.
homebirthmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 02:08 PM   #8
charise820's Avatar
charise820
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Out side Fort Hood, Tx
Posts: 5,897
My Mood:
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

See this is hard because one is my mother and I am her only child (out of 5) that still has anything to do with her. And i still love and care about her a great deal but she's on of those people that lies and if she was online she would be a trolling drama queen that posted stories just for attention.

I love her I for the most part can see passed the mistakes but it's getting hard.

Another is someone I love as if she is my child who is having a baby and I am torn at cutting her because of the baby and thinking maybe now she will grow up. Ugh others are easier but still hard at the same time.
__________________
Charise back to being a SAHM, and going to school for business and planning my next move to take over the world. Help me send my son to Scotland for a trip! Shop my gift basket and flower shop!
charise820 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 02:31 PM   #9
steph410's Avatar
steph410
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 6,096
My Mood:
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

it's good of you to feel bad about it, but don't feel guilty- do what is healthy for you and your family even if it means distancing from people. i have several people like this in my life. it is up to you to create boundaries- because they probably never would on their own.
__________________
Catholic mom to five wonderful little boys- we welcomed our newest baby on 4/6/13
steph410 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2010, 02:46 PM   #10
teal
Registered Users
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,723
Re: Cutting the drama out of your life? how to do it?

If you have reasons for not cutting them out completely, limit your contact with them. Every so often, revisit your position on whether they add value to your life.

Family isn't what it used to be, I'm sad to say. Mine is pretty good and generally without major problems, but I'm not obligated to put up with BS from them just because we share some DNA. My SIL pulled a nasty stunt while she was housesitting for us, and since then I haven't bothered to cultivate any relationship with her. I have better things to do and worthier people to 'grace' with my time and energy. DH is disappointed but I've stated my position and reasoning and he understands though he doesn't agree. I don't actively avoid her but I don't seek her out at family gatherings. I'm open to the possibility of friendship in the future when she gains some maturity. Currently, I take her at face value and don't put much stock in what she says.
__________________
Currently on hiatus from the DS forums.
teal is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.