Potty Training on weekend visits with Dad..

[Duckiesmommie]

Ok I really need some advice from some of you mama's that have been threw a seperation/divorce, My DD (27 months) is fully potty trained during the day with me, never has accidents always tells me when she has to go, she usually wakes up dry, but I havent attempted a no pull up night yet. Well, everytime she comes home from a weekend visit with her Dad she pee's her pants all.the.time. this morning for example she told me she had to go so we sat on the potty for 15 mins and nothing, she came out of the bathroom and 2 mins later she peed her pants! WHY!?!?! He says she goes on the potty the whole weekend with him, but I do know he leaves her in pull ups where she wears underwear here. how can I stop this? Is he Actually putting her on the potty or just letting her pee her pants? I'm so sick of it, it's like taking 2 steps backwards everytime she goes with him. I feel bad for getting upset with her when she does pee her pants becuase I dont know what he does with her...What to do, What to do.

[froggymiamore]

It's more than likely just an adjustment issue. How long have you guys been divorced/separated? She might just be a little stressed and the first day or so she's back with you might be her adjustment period. And even if he does put her in pullups, there's nothing you can do about it. Just keep doing what is best for you and her. Just be glad he's on board with helping her potty train! Just try to keep an open line of communication with him in regards to her potty training progress and things should go smoother the more she gets used to things. mama!

[Duckiesmommie]

We've been apart for 7 months now. He doesnt communicate very well with me, hense the reason we are no longer together, So im not 100% sure he is actually doing it or just telling me he is (which he is famous for) we have had many issues since the split, but thats another story. I just get so frustrated cleaning up pee and washing tons of underwear for the first day or so, then we get back into our routine and his weekend comes again (every second weekend) and she does it all over again! UGH!

[frogandtoad]

Mama, feel for ya. Have 4 boys and even though dad threatened/attempted to kill himself with all of us in the home in October he now has unsupervised visits on Wednesdays and every other weekend

You can imagine we have all kinds of "issues" - counselors will tell you this is "normal" because of the transition. You will have to be patient. My only concern would be maybe there is something going on that needs to be explored further.

Best of luck! I can completely empathize.

ETA: Also have restraining order for me and kids, but apparently he is "okay" now since he is in counseling

[Duckiesmommie]

Hugs Mama, Its getting worse now for me, I have her fully potty trained day and night, she spent 3 nights with him over the May Long Weekend, and has peed her bed every day this week, May Long was last week in Canada, Im so frustrated, I cant get mad at her but what the heck do I do to stop it...

[Sakari]

Have patience. Talk to her about it gently. Let her know you don't mind doing laundry, you just want her to be comfortable. Let her know you're available to be woken up in the middle of the night to help her. and then be prepared to do a LOT of laundry. It won't last forever. and as she grows up she'll learn who really had her best interests in mind - you or her dad. Obviously talking to him about it isn't the answer. You've tried that! All you can do is be there for her. She'll figure it out mama. Support her. But don't diss her dad. You're in my thoughts, mama.

[Duckiesmommie]

Thanks for the support Mama's this is just a bad situation all together, I just found out he has another baby on the way so we will see how long his visits with the girls last or what happens now!!

[Sakari]

oh mama!!! I hope things work out for the best for the kids!

Wow - is that why DH's X was so mad when DH told her we were expecting?! I never understood that til now. Thanks In our case, we WANTED DD to be close in age to her siblings. they are all Such good friends! and the only thing that her birth changed as far as our seeing the kids, is that we moved back to the same town, so now we see his older two MORE!!! Way more! It might not be a bad thing, mama!! Or, maybe if he decides to bow out - maybe that will be for the best, too? Who knows? Just remember that anything could happen - you never know!!

[jadefaerie]

If she's wetting the bed at night, I'd suggest letting her sleep in a pull-up if she's comfortable with it. I know she's night trained normally, but a wet bed can be devastating to some kids. My DD is 5 and still pees at night (every night!) and she hates the idea of sleeping without a diaper. She'll remind us to put it on her if we forget Night training is so often a whole different path than day training, if you're ok with it and she's ok with it, keep her dry with a pull-up. When my younger one first night-trained, I didn't want to stop diapering him for fear his older sister would feel bad so we just reused the same diaper over and over It didn't set him back any, but did save us a few nights of wet sheets.

Good luck, I'm so sorry you're all going through this.

[Hcm1940]

Just a thought...maybe the stress of the seperation, going back and forth between houses and parents, a new scary arrangement for little ones, is affecting her potty learning. Try the training pants whenever she comes back to take the pressure off her and less stress for you. Eventually she'll get there! I feel for you!