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Old 03-04-2010, 05:29 PM   #1
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Sleep and nap supernanny style! UPDATE

I've been bad about routine with my 2yo since my newbie arrived, haven't enforced naps mainly because of the screaming matches when i try to get her to nap, her keeping on asking for more books, potty etc etc. Anyway, she still does need a nap or she is cranky and exhausted, but she's resistant. I have tried telling her it's quiet time etc. To no avail. I let her nap in the living room in front of tv for a week but that didn't last, and was too unpredictable. Today I decided I just have to force her to go nap in her room. The drill is I do the bedtime/ nap routine (books etc), then I leave the room and close the door so it's slightly ajar. If she keeps coming out I pick her up, take her back, minimal talking. Today I did it and she came out about 20 times. By the end she started screaming, but I just showed no emotion, was matter of fact and told her 'quiet time in your room'. Eventually she stayed in there and when i checked on her a few minutes later, fast asleep.

My question is... does this approach work if you've done it? Am I doing it right? And how long does the fighting last, how many days of listening to screaming and keeping on putting her back in there do I have to endure? It's TERRIBLE!!

UPDATE: Well today I have only had to put her back into her room twice, and she only cried once for about 2 minutes. I'm not sure if she's actually sleeping in there, i'm too scared to go look! Last night she went to bed with no fuss whatsoever. So I am hoping it's working... Thanks to everybody who responded!

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Last edited by jeebee; 03-05-2010 at 02:24 PM.
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:18 PM   #2
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

No real advice mama. It wouldn't work for me. I just don't agree with the not showing emotion thing that she promotes. I'm currently transitioning my 20 month old to fall asleep at naps without nursing [because I'm starting a job after being a SAHM. And though he'll be in the classroom next to me I won't be able to nurse him to sleep in the day.]

I'm following the no cry sleep solution. He does cry but I'm there patting him and smiling. The first day it took an hour for him to fall asleep. He would cry 5 minutes or so then lay there for about 10-15 and repeat the cycle.

The second day he feel asleep in 20 minutes. The third day [today] it took about 15. So it's going down and he's still got that support in this tough transition. I guess I just try to look at it like I would hate if someone suddenly came and told me they were changing up my sleeping pattern and that was that. So it's hard for me to do that with my son. It's just no in my personal instinct to do it.

All that to say, I'm no help to you am I Hope you find what works for you mama
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:24 PM   #3
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

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No real advice mama. It wouldn't work for me. I just don't agree with the not showing emotion thing that she promotes. I'm currently transitioning my 20 month old to fall asleep at naps without nursing [because I'm starting a job after being a SAHM. And though he'll be in the classroom next to me I won't be able to nurse him to sleep in the day.]

I'm following the no cry sleep solution. He does cry but I'm there patting him and smiling. The first day it took an hour for him to fall asleep. He would cry 5 minutes or so then lay there for about 10-15 and repeat the cycle.

The second day he feel asleep in 20 minutes. The third day [today] it took about 15. So it's going down and he's still got that support in this tough transition. I guess I just try to look at it like I would hate if someone suddenly came and told me they were changing up my sleeping pattern and that was that. So it's hard for me to do that with my son. It's just no in my personal instinct to do it.

All that to say, I'm no help to you am I Hope you find what works for you mama
Does your LO sleep in a crib? I feel like I have tried the soft method... she sleeps in a toddler bed but there's just no way to keep her in there, patting etc doesn't seem to work and i can do this for hours on end and in the end she STILL doesn't go to sleep. It used to work for us. She just wants me in there the whole time and right now I can't do it anymore with a little baby, she needs my attention too. I can rock and nurse and she just seems to get so distracted by her toys etc that they don't work either for us. If I am in there she'll keep asking to play with things or read books. I really don't want to do this method, but nothing else is working for us!
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:28 PM   #4
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

We use this technique at bed time with DS... It works for us. It took him a couple days but he understands now that bed time is bed time. At first when he goes to bed we read to him and talk about the day in bed. Then after all is said and done I turn his music on we kiss him good night and tell him we will see him in the morning. The first time he comes out we just tell him "Time for bed" and take him back to his room. After that when he comes out we say "bed". Last we just take him back to his room. We kiss him on his forehead dont say anything and only one simple kiss and then walk out. Now a days if he gets out of bed it only takes one time of Time for bed and he stays.

With the new baby his naps have come and gone. So I understand how you feel.
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:33 PM   #5
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

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Does your LO sleep in a crib? I feel like I have tried the soft method... she sleeps in a toddler bed but there's just no way to keep her in there, patting etc doesn't seem to work and i can do this for hours on end and in the end she STILL doesn't go to sleep. It used to work for us. She just wants me in there the whole time and right now I can't do it anymore with a little baby, she needs my attention too. I can rock and nurse and she just seems to get so distracted by her toys etc that they don't work either for us. If I am in there she'll keep asking to play with things or read books. I really don't want to do this method, but nothing else is working for us!
No, we all co-sleep. But I'm making a "nap mat" in the living room while doing this transition because that's about how they do naps at the school where I'll be at [mats on the floor].

Gosh I wish I had some wise words or advice! It does pass I promise! My 3 y.o. went through this and it had to do with his new brother at the time. He was kind of feeling 'left out' even though I wasn't doing that. But he just needed that extra attention at that time to let him know that he was still loved and valued. Cognitively it's something they struggle with at this age, especially with a new sibling.
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:38 PM   #6
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

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No, we all co-sleep. But I'm making a "nap mat" in the living room while doing this transition because that's about how they do naps at the school where I'll be at [mats on the floor].

Gosh I wish I had some wise words or advice! It does pass I promise! My 3 y.o. went through this and it had to do with his new brother at the time. He was kind of feeling 'left out' even though I wasn't doing that. But he just needed that extra attention at that time to let him know that he was still loved and valued. Cognitively it's something they struggle with at this age, especially with a new sibling.


I also couldn't do the no-emotional response because I disagree with it. My oldest went through a very similar thing that you're describing when our second was born. We took it one day at a time, but emotionally tuned into what she needed to find the solution - not a 'one size fits all'. I am sorry your going through this though. I've been there!!
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Old 03-04-2010, 08:36 PM   #7
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are doing things. No, it is not the choice that others might make but there are some kids that need no distractions in order to get to sleep. I never could rock/pat/etc my older to sleep. She gets overstimulate really quickly and we did end up taking a much firmer approach to her napping. Since I work home daycare, I am well aware that some kids are fighters and others are not. It is more about working with your child's personality. If other things you have tried are not working and this is, then I would go with it and not feel guilty for the choice. She needs a nap and you need time with just the baby. It is a very big adjustment to add a new baby so just hang in there. Cut yourself some slack and don't let mommy guilt creep in and make you doubt every decision. You know your kids best. Good luck!
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Old 03-04-2010, 08:41 PM   #8
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

I had to do this when ds1 moved to a real bed. It lasted about a week, but got better each time. The first day was the hardest.
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:09 AM   #9
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

We started our bedtime routine when DS was 18 months old in preparation for our new little one. I moved him into a big boy bed at that time as well. This is how it started...

I would read a story then sing a few songs and say prayers. When I told him night night I would move to the end of the bed and sit with my head down (lights were off) no eye contact. Over the course of about 5-10 minutes I moved further and further away. Then I moved just outside the door, down the hall etc. Once I left his room he would come and look to see if I was there and then walk himself back to bed. If he didn't walk himself back I would go put him back in bed and say 'bedtime' then go back to my position. He learned how to lay there until he fell asleep instead of us rocking, patting, laying down with him etc. He only got out of bed a few times until he realized it didn't work but I think he felt secure knowing I was right there. After 4 days of that routine he had it down and it has been great almost every night since (except when DH skips steps in the routine). He sleeps with a baby gate to keep him in his room b/c I don't trust him not to roam the house but if he gets out of bed or crys I just walk him back and place him in his bed and say bedtime. I will let him cry now a little now b/c I know he feels secure falling asleep on his own- still most of the time if he crys I will sit in his room with my head down so he knows I'm there for him but I don't have to break our routine. Usually the cry is just a ploy to fight off nap/bedtime and he recoveres quickly.
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:13 AM   #10
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Re: Sleep and nap supernanny style!

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Originally Posted by doodah View Post
I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are doing things. No, it is not the choice that others might make but there are some kids that need no distractions in order to get to sleep. I never could rock/pat/etc my older to sleep. She gets overstimulate really quickly and we did end up taking a much firmer approach to her napping. Since I work home daycare, I am well aware that some kids are fighters and others are not. It is more about working with your child's personality. If other things you have tried are not working and this is, then I would go with it and not feel guilty for the choice. She needs a nap and you need time with just the baby. It is a very big adjustment to add a new baby so just hang in there. Cut yourself some slack and don't let mommy guilt creep in and make you doubt every decision. You know your kids best. Good luck!
Very great advice!
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