View Poll Results: How far to space kids:
Less than 18 months apart 18 10.84%
18-24 months apart 55 33.13%
More than 24 months apart 93 56.02%
Voters: 166. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-11-2010, 08:21 AM   #11
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

From watching the families around me, I've found that, IMO the ideal spacing for me is somewhere between 2-4 years. Now, this is hardly scientific. It's just my experience with the families around me.

Closer than that, and I've seen a lot of fighting between the kids. They're competing for the same resources, stepping on each others toes. It's less pronounced when the children are different genders because it more easily defines their role, but when they're the same gender it gets messy.

Farther apart, and they have much less in common. Almost nothing in common as young kids actually. They may become fast friends later in life, but the younger child is less of a playmate and more of an additional responsibility for the older. It's not as pronounced when the children are the same gender I find, but definitely shows when they're different genders.

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Old 03-11-2010, 08:21 AM   #12
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

my kids are 19 mos. apart...although I wouldnt have minded sooner (but I wanted to VBAC, so dr. suggested waiting a year--didnt quite make it, but it worked out anyways) my little guy has been a little jealous, but nothing terrible, i like the spacing so far (dd is almost 3 months) i'll take the next one though asap! but i think alot of it depends on your child's personality and you!
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:23 AM   #13
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

We will have a 2 1/2 year gap... I think that it is great for us. DD is old enough now and understanding that there is a baby in mommy's belly.. and that understanding just wasn't there a few months ago.. so had we done closer to a 2 year gap, I don't think it would have worked as well (FOR US anyway).
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:24 AM   #14
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

DS & ODD are 27 months apart and ODD & YDD are 31 months apart. I planned it this way. The only reason ODD & YDD have the extra 4 months in spacing is cause DH was deployed and we couldn't TTC until he got back We are thinking about #4 now and plan on trying to conceive as soon as he gets back from this deployment and if it works then YDD & "baby" will be approx 26 months apart. I love the how I only have 1 in diapers at any given time and we have never had an jealousy issues and they all play so well together. ODD & DS love their little sis and are constantly playing with her and ODD & DS like a lot of the same stuff/shows/games etc. Planning our family this way has worked out really well so far.

Sidenote: Me and my older brother are 3 years apart and we never played together or even really talked much. Me and my younger brother were 15 months apart and we were together ALL the time. I also have a sister now that is 12 years younger than me, and 3 brothers that are 13, 15 and 17 years younger than me. I feel more like a mother figure to them rather than a sister, kwim?
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:28 AM   #15
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

My first 2 are 3 yrs apart & it was nice although. My 2nd & 3rd are 15 mths apart & it was not bad at all but having 2 in diapers wasn't as fun
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:29 AM   #16
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

I have children on both ends of this conversation. DD#1 was from my first marriage. I waited until I settled down again to have more children. DD#1 was 6 when we had DD#2 that was too much of an age difference for me it was like starting all over again. Now DD#2 was 6 months when we conceived DS#1 it was the best thing I could have done getting pregnant that soon, they play together great, they don't fight, they keep each other occupied, they have the same interests. Makes like a lot easier. DS#1 was 8 months when DS#2 was conceived. So now we have 4 children. Who are 9, 3 on Monday, 1.5, and 3 months. My 2 middle love the baby, they love helping. I would never space them further if I had a choice, however when TTC #5 we have to plan because of our work. I am an amateur photographer and have many weddings this year. So we cannot TTC until end of April through June so that we have the baby in the spring 2011. So this one will be a little further apart only because we have to.
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:30 AM   #17
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

my kids are 19 mos. apart...although I wouldnt have minded sooner (but I wanted to VBAC, so dr. suggested waiting a year--didnt quite make it, but it worked out anyways) my little guy has been a little jealous, but nothing terrible, i like the spacing so far (dd is almost 3 months) i'll take the next one though asap! but i think alot of it depends on your child's personality and you!
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:36 AM   #18
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

My DC are 15 months apart. Overall, I do LOVE the spacing but it can be tough at times. My youngest has recently had some health issues (seizures) and that has made the age difference much harder on us.
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:43 AM   #19
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

My kids are almost 5 years apart and I love the age difference! They adore each other and my son is quite the big brother. I found there seems to be less jealousy with the age difference. They still play together and for the most part get along quite well. The only thing is the whole "starting over" thing. You get used to not carrying a diaper bag and changing diapers and being constantly vigilant on their whereabouts so I miss that freedom a bit. but I think the lack of competition is worth it.
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Old 03-11-2010, 08:50 AM   #20
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Re: Opinions on how far to space kids apart...

There is 4 years 3 months between DS and DD. That's more than we wanted, but we'd planned to have about 3.5 years between DS and the next one and we lost that baby half way through pregnancy. So the age gap got bigger. Honestly, though, I like it. DS was perfectly capable of helping himself to snacks, the bathroom, toys, whatever. He was old enough to understand and actually be patient when I was busy with newborn DD.

There will be about 2 years 1 month between DD and this baby, which isn't too bad. I'm glad it's not under two years! Looking at DD now, at almost 19 months old, I'm so glad I'm not hugely pregnant or busy with a newborn right now. My DD is very good and happy, naps and sleeps fantastically, eats well... and still I wouldn't want a new baby right now! Plus, I think the "individual" time I got with DD to be the baby is important. I had 4 years of it with DS, and I'm glad DD will get at least 2 years of it herself. I know not all parents feel this way, but I personally would feel like I'd cheated my child and myself if I had to divide my time between two very dependent babies/young toddlers.

We'll probably wait until this baby is closer to 18 months old before getting pregnant again.

ETA: Just wanted to add that I didn't get fertility back after DD was born until she was a year old (got my first PPAF on her birthday!) and I am still nursing her a ton. I've been very fortunate that my milk supply has not dwindled; most mamas I know who start our nursing in pregnancy don't make it. I'm also taking alfalfa to help milk supply and tone the uterus, so that could have a lot to do with it. I started taking it around 6 weeks and didn't notice any problems before that, so who knows if I would have. I fully intend to nurse throughout pregnancy and tandem nurse, since DD will barely be 2 when the new baby comes along. I'd hate to think of her weaning that early!!
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