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Old 05-08-2010, 11:00 AM   #11
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Totally inappropriate. She's not trying to be helpful or charitable, she's being a busybody. A helpful person would have asked if you needed help carrying your groceries to your car.

And you should definitely report the foodstamps comment to the store manager.

It really gets on my nerves when people comment about foodstamps. I have been paying taxes since I was 15 years old, and I'd rather see my taxpayer dollars feed families than pay multi-million dollar bonuses to CEO's of businesses that nearly destroyed our economy.

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Old 05-08-2010, 11:03 AM   #12
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Sorry that happened to you and if it bothered you too much, talk to the manager about it.

I hate to say it but having 3 kids and being pregnant, I get LOTS of comments made to me all the time. I just sort of role with it and my answers depend on what kind of place I think the person is coming from and my mood at the time.

More than likely this will happen to you many times over. I do not think having 3+ kids is that odd but apparently lots of other people do and need to comment for some reason.-usually not very nice remarks either...

I will say that now when I see another mama out in public with kids close in age or several - if I am in the mood to talk to a stranger, I will make a positive comment to them. I think we all need to hear good things every once in a while, especially since I LOVE having my kids close in age.
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Old 05-08-2010, 11:14 AM   #13
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I would be livid, hormones or not.

I had a mom at skating start talking to me about going to her church (her daughter and mine are the same age). She tried to convince me this was a great place because of the light shows they have during the services (no thank you, my migraines explode with strobing lights). Then she starts telling me about how she should have my daughter over for a play date, but then that went into an entire religious conversation about teaching them to be chaste, something about the ultimate gift (virginity) and that dating is ONLY to be done with the intent of marriage. She even said that dating was setting your child up to a failed marriage because they see that there is a beginning and an end to every relationship and expect that all will end, including their marriage. I don't feel that way. I feel that dating (not sleeping around, just actual dating) helps you to develop an idea of the types of personalities you work well with (and those you don't) and is a healthy part of the path to eventual marriage.

It was just really off-putting, to the point where we are pleasant to each other but definitely not friendly. I certainly would not let my child over there. It sounds like she would have her in some sort of a freak cleansing ritual or something if she ever had a play date.

Why do people have to do that? I'm not pregnant and I was still livid, and I'm livid for you, so it is definitely not your hormones.
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Old 05-08-2010, 11:16 AM   #14
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

It sounded like the foodstamps comment was in her defense against this busybody. Did I read that right? It sounds like the busybody made the original comment about her paying with foodstamps. Well I hope anyway. I really hope your cashier didn't make a negative comment assuming you were paying with foodstamps.
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Old 05-08-2010, 12:40 PM   #15
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Ok, first I'm catholic and religious....BUT... I would be PISSED!!!!!! You do NOT do that. I'm thinking she must have been some religion that pushes it on people. I do not like that at all...to each their own!

I hardly ever wear my wedding rings. I've been pregnant 4 times in the past 6 1/2 years and my fingers always swell really big. So, I'm just not used to wearing them, but I should start as they are quite pretty.

Sorry you had to go through that.
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Old 05-08-2010, 12:48 PM   #16
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

I understand being upset about comments like that & I'm glad the other cashier came to your defense(that having 3 kids does not equal being unmarried & on food stamps). However since this was a random stranger who does not work there why would you stop going to this store?
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Old 05-08-2010, 01:30 PM   #17
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

I sometimes can't take my Autistic DS 3.5 hardly many places right now, including the grocery store for reasons like this. He is pretty aggressive and verbal and I notice a lot of unkind lookers and some who even comment. You just know they are judging me as a mother, and have no idea he is more than just a typical kid and has special needs. I just roll my eyes or respond similar to how you did. Politely but frank. It's also something I notice more commonly comes from the elderly crowd. I always respect my elders but for some reason this particular generation of elders seem to have gotten an extra hit off the prude stick and have placed a stigma on mothers with more than one child. I am not so sure age has anything to do with it, at first I thought things like this were more common in younger looking mothers, but I find and hear it happening to all mothers of all ages.

I am even more upset to hear that she brought church up in it. I mean geesh that sort of thing is why people don't go to church anymore, and don't trust God. As a Christian woman myself that approach was not appropriate and her remark was far from Christian (far from Christ like) and very hurtful and judgemental. We are not supposed to embark on winning others by judgment. That woman obviously had issues of her own that spawned her judgement of you. If I wanted to invite you to church I first wouldn't assume you didn't already have one. I would have said something like "your children are beautiful, and you look like your glowing, I know your exhausted, hey I don't know if you already have a church, but if you ever need a break our church has a great nursery with some amazing strong moms like yourself, feel free to drop in if you like, and even though it's just an hour or so, it could give you a breather."

You wouldn't invite someone to a birthday party by first insulting them, why on earth would that woman have thought her small minded, personal, absolutely presumed, brash judgemental viewpoint of you would have even come close to making you feel invited and welcome. Sheesh the proud cruel nature of the human heart never ceases to amaze me.

As far as the cashier goes... I would have had some tactful words for her and her manager.

I am so sorry mama ((hugs))
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Old 05-08-2010, 01:41 PM   #18
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

WOW! That's all I have to say about that! UGH People can be SO RUDE! I am pregnant with #6 and I ALWAYS get comments about how my "hands must be full" I get sick of it after hearing it for the 4th time each day and reply with "No, I only carry the little one, unless the store has a shopping cart, then he goes in there." I also get "Have you and your husband figured out where they come from yet?" YEA, FROM COMPLETE STRANGERS! My reply "Of course! But sometime the toothbrushes touch when we put them away." and shrug. It throws people off and they stop talking. BUT TO INSULT YOU AND THEN ASK YOU TO GO TO CHURCH!? OMG!
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Old 05-08-2010, 02:08 PM   #19
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Man, I would be so many levels of pissed. Under no circumstances did you deserve that. Aren't Christians charged to not be judgmental?

I'd call the store manager for sure. So uncalled for.....
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Old 05-08-2010, 02:10 PM   #20
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

I've gotten to the point that I just tell them I'm Catholic to make them go away. I've gotten you're so brave. Don't you know what birth control is? Do you know what makes them? When are you going to stop? And some of this from my own family. One family member threatened to take hubby to get snipped. People just don't seem to think you're normal anymore if you have more than 2 kids!
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