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Old 05-18-2010, 08:01 PM   #1
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Am I a bad mommy?

if I let my newborn cry until she goes to sleep? I feel like one because I do Fiona is 2 months now but since the day she was been born she's been VERY fussy. She is crying constantly. Holding her, feeding her, changing her diaper NOTHING stops her from crying! It really just gets to the point where if I've done everything I could for her I just lay her down in her bassinet and let her cry herself to sleep and I feel SO awful doing this but I don't know what else to do. Dh keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with doing this but why do I feel so bad? I hate it because I'm always so tired and on edge that I take it out on dd1 sometimes too I know dd1 didn't cry half as much as this one does so I'm at a loss. Please don't tell me I'm the only mommy that does this. I dunno what to do....

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Old 05-18-2010, 08:02 PM   #2
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

Two months is kind of young, but it sounds like she is colicky, and I totally know the helpless feeling! Your LO might be feeling your stress too. Do you have a friend or family member that could maybe come and give you a break for an hour or so?

It WILL get better though!!
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:10 PM   #3
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

From my experience, and from what I have read babies that age do not cry for no reason. I know when my ds was fussy at night about that age we would go sit out on the porch and it seemed like he was so soothed by the noises and the vastness of the sky. I personally would not and have never let my son cry himself to sleep. I know it has to be so hard for you and your DH, but there are other options! I agree w/ the pp that your DD does sound colicky.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:14 PM   #4
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

DS was like that. Cried and cried and cried. Didn't matter if you were holding him or not. So there were just times I had to put him down and let him cry himself to sleep. For my own sanity!! There is NOTHING wrong with that. Better you put your baby down in a safe place and go collect yourself then let yourself get frustrated with your baby. Anyone that says differently, has never experienced a true colicky baby, that, or they have the patience of a saint. But some of us moms just aren't that perfect and need to find time to collect ourselves.

It'll get better, I promise. It just takes time, and they'll grow out of it.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:16 PM   #5
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

I need suggestion, what can I do? I don't want to do this but what do I do? I can't hold her 24 hours a day with a 2 year old that wants me too. I've tried carrier (I have a peanutshell right now) and she HATES it. I don't have a pourch outside my house. I kind of thought she has colic but what do I do for that?
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:18 PM   #6
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

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DS was like that. Cried and cried and cried. Didn't matter if you were holding him or not. So there were just times I had to put him down and let him cry himself to sleep. For my own sanity!! There is NOTHING wrong with that. Better you put your baby down in a safe place and go collect yourself then let yourself get frustrated with your baby. Anyone that says differently, has never experienced a true colicky baby, that, or they have the patience of a saint. But some of us moms just aren't that perfect and need to find time to collect ourselves.

It'll get better, I promise. It just takes time, and they'll grow out of it.
thanks for understand mama Most of the time that is why I put her down. When you have a newborn screaming for no reason for hours then a 2 year old climbing on you because she wants attention I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs sometimes and sometimes I need to take 5 for myself or for my older dd
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:21 PM   #7
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

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I need suggestion, what can I do? I don't want to do this but what do I do? I can't hold her 24 hours a day with a 2 year old that wants me too. I've tried carrier (I have a peanutshell right now) and she HATES it. I don't have a pourch outside my house. I kind of thought she has colic but what do I do for that?
I know. There reall yisn't much. You can try Gripe water (they have it at Target), but I never found it to work.

Try laying her on her back and peddling her legs - she could be a little gassy too. And the motion may soothe her. Vibrating bouncy seat, swing...What about taking a walk?? Will she tolerate a stroller?

I totally get you. My oldest DD was fine but DD#2 was miserable for 2.5 mos.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:22 PM   #8
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

I know exactly how you feel--DS was the same way. The only way to get him to stop crying was to nurse him, and so we nursed all.day.long. He also couldn't go to sleep at all during the day (I'm talking 12-15 hours with no nap from age 4 weeks on). Finally I insisted that something was wrong to the ped, and he got started on reflux meds, which fixed him. I don't believe babies cry all the time for reason. My guy was diagnosed first as "colicky" even though it didn't fit the descriptions I've read of colicky babies (3 hours + solid of screaming type crying, 3 days a week+, 3 weeks+). My baby didn't do the scream-type crying and he wasn't inconsolable. He could be consoled if nursed. Anyway, my advice is to get to a ped and investigate if something is wrong.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:27 PM   #9
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

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I know exactly how you feel--DS was the same way. The only way to get him to stop crying was to nurse him, and so we nursed all.day.long. He also couldn't go to sleep at all during the day (I'm talking 12-15 hours with no nap from age 4 weeks on). Finally I insisted that something was wrong to the ped, and he got started on reflux meds, which fixed him. I don't believe babies cry all the time for reason. My guy was diagnosed first as "colicky" even though it didn't fit the descriptions I've read of colicky babies (3 hours + solid of screaming type crying, 3 days a week+, 3 weeks+). My baby didn't do the scream-type crying and he wasn't inconsolable. He could be consoled if nursed. Anyway, my advice is to get to a ped and investigate if something is wrong.
we actually see the pedi on Thursday. She even screams when she nurses. Like she'll start drinking then stop and scream at the top of her lungs. It's not really a cry it's like a scream, face turns red. I know this isn't normal since dd1 did not do this but she had acid reflux at dd2's age but her symptoms are different so I don't think that is what it is. Hopefully the pedi has answers for us
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:30 PM   #10
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

I know it can be hard, but I would prefer to have her cry in my arms than alone in a crib by herself.

Could she be overtired? Babies need a lot of sleep and they actually get tired way before they even seem like it.

Have you tried "shhhhhhhhhhing" her....get really close to her ear and loudly say "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Swaddling? I do what my mom calls the "sleeper hold." Where you swaddle them really tight and hold their arms close to their body. That with rocking and the "shhhhhhh'ing" go well together.

Are you sure she isn't gassy or needs to be burped? Are you bf'ing, could it be something in your diet that is iritating to her? Dairy, broccoli, onions, and garlic are all big culprits.
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