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Old 05-18-2010, 09:13 PM   #21
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

If you are getting frustrated put your little one down. My five week old "fights sleep". He cries when he gets tiered. I put him in a wrap carrier so he is totally "swaddled" while being held tightly then I go fold laundry with him in the carrier. Folding laundry keeps me relaxed while he's crying and within a few minutes he is fast asleep. He won't go to sleep if I am just holding him or he is swaddled. He has to be in the wrap while I am walking around. He doesn't do that in the ring sling I have.

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Old 05-18-2010, 09:33 PM   #22
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

DD was truly a miserable baby for the first 3 months. Colicky, food sensitity, reflux - they all seemed to fit her symptoms. I could NOT put her down. She nursed 24/7, cried 24/7.. and most of the time I was crying right along with her.

Reading The Happiest Baby On The Block really enlightened me and I highly suggest it. Your LO's crying means something, Mama, and as hard and frustrating as it is, it WILL get better once you figure her out. I don't agree with just letting her cry every night to sleep all alone. Of course, though, there are times where you just HAVE to put her down because you are at your wit's end. Been there done that a few times with DD in her first few months.. but it was never routine. As bad as I was feeling, I knew something was going on with her and she was feeling even worse than I was. Crying to the point of exhausting herself wasn't going to make it any better.

I have a 4 year old as well as the baby and he needed my time, too, but this stage won't last forever. It's a distant memory for me now and soon it will be for you, too. Talk to your pedi and tell him/her all of your baby's symptoms. Don't just settle for "It's colic". Chances are she may have a sensitivity to something in your diet or has reflux.

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Old 05-18-2010, 09:35 PM   #23
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

You're not a bad mommy, you're just not a martyr, and honestly, who wants that?

If you have to put her down, it's okay. Have you seen the video The Period of Purple Crying? PURPLE is an acronym. It's explained pretty well here:
http://thedadjam.com/baby/the-period-of-purple-crying/
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:40 PM   #24
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

*Hugs to you momma*

I know how hard it is. Trust me.. I KNOW. I had a newborn baby with reflux so bad that she didn't gain weight for the first several months of her life, all while being placed in a pavlik harness that I had to constantly fight to keep clean as I couldn't let it get soaked in vomit since she couldn't take it off. She cried constantly and I literally wanted to jump off of a bridge. Literally. On top of all that, I had a 10 month old to rear as well.

She is now a perfectly happy, healthy, beautiful 10 month old. No matter how hard it gets, it'll get better eventually. I know it sucks to hear that in the throws of the exhaustion and stress but it is what got me through every day for months and months on end. I'd wake up and say, "Okay. This can't last forever." I spent many a night with her asleep on my chest, pillows strategically placed so that she couldn't roll off of me, as it was the only position that she didn't scream in.

If she does have reflux laying her flat and allowing her to cry is quite possibly only making it worse. Elevate her a bit. I hope the pediatrician is able to help. Request an upper GI if you really suspect reflux.

I guess my point is... try not to leave her alone. Tell DH that you just might cut his face off if he doesn't relieve you. I know that when I'm upset and yearning for affection, laying in one spot alone is a horrific feeling. I can't tell you how often I'd sit holding her and just cry right along with her. I'd whisper to her that "Momma loves you.. please stop..." and never get reprieve. It never got any easier, but my coping mechanisms did.
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:44 PM   #25
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

I am not totally against letting a baby cry, but 2 months is too young. HOWEVER, I have had moments like that where you feel like there is nothing you can do and you need to collect yourself. Especially with all the hormones raging right after childbirth, and the exhaustion, sometimes you can only do so much. I think putting her down in a safe place so you can take a breather is okay, and maybe necessary. Try baby massage and folding her legs into her belly. I wore DD2 in a wrap a lot when she was tiny. For what it's worth, babies usually start growing out of that phase around 3-4 months, so hang in there!
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:54 PM   #26
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

I'm going to agree with other and say it sounds like reflux. DD had sever silent reflux (no spitting up and no weight loss). At 6 weeks old she screamed for 5 hours straight. I call the Dr.'s office in the middle of her episode and got an appointment an hour and a half later. DD was put on Zantac and later diagnosed with milk protein allergy (likely cause of reflux).

Things you can do now: keep her head elevated while she sleeps, burp her frequently, and small feedings frequently. Gripe water is also recommended by some. It didn't do wonders for us but works great for others. DD loved sleeping in the Moby wrap at that age so maybe give that a try.

At some point it is okay to let her cry. You must maintain your sanity. Hopefully your ped can help you resolve this.
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:57 PM   #27
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

I can really only get her to sleep on her belly. dd1 could only sleep on her belly as well. So how do you suggest her to sleep elevated? TIA!
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:05 PM   #28
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ardygurly View Post
I can really only get her to sleep on her belly. dd1 could only sleep on her belly as well. So how do you suggest her to sleep elevated? TIA!
Place a wedge or towel underneath the mattress if she's in her own crib, side car, bassinet, etc. I would only let my DD sleep on her tummy if she was with me, which meant I slept on the couch in my "fortress" in which she couldn't move. Granted, she was physically incapable of rolling due to her harness so I didn't have to worry about that. Until she was out of her harness, she slept in a boppy lounger (the kind w/o the hole in the middle) to keep her head elevated. I wouldn't have done this if she had not been in the harness. Once she was out of the harness, I rolled a towel under one side of the mattress.
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:21 PM   #29
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

Try cutting out dairy, like right now. DS was super fussy a lot of the time and once I quit dairy he was a completely different kid. I had overactive letdown too, which helped some, but he was just hurting and the poor thing had a tummy ache for 3 months. He is still super sensitive at 18 months (I ate cheese last night and today he was screaming with a tummy ache). I really think that a lot of babies who have so-called colic just have a food sensitivity. I'm certainly not discounting the fact that some babies DO have colic....it's just a theory of mine. Try it!

It will get better!
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:23 PM   #30
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?

its better for you to do that and not get mad at the baby, than it would be to keep holding her and get worked up. sometimes its best just to put them in their crib and walk away to collect your thoughts/calm down. i know ive had to do it!
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