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Old 05-25-2010, 08:17 AM   #11
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

i would tell her not to feed her ANYTHING that you dont okay first, because dairy is in SO many things that you would never even think of them being in (like goldfish, i would have never thunk it!). i cant see why she would intentionally give her dairy, maybe she just truely forgets what foods have dairy in them ....maybe tell her that unless she can stop giving her dairy you will have to supervise every time that theyre together. this is a toughie, mama

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Old 05-25-2010, 08:24 AM   #12
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

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Originally Posted by Cristina View Post
What a crappy sitch. I would take the hard line and tell her she is not allowed to feed her anything. At all. Don't leave them alone. When you feel ready to give your Mom a chance, bring your DDs prepacked lunch box and she can only feed her out of that. You'll need to get into the habit of packing her non dairy foods wherever she goes anyway. Poor baby.


Poor thing. My ILs "forget" about DD's allergies. They just don't get it at all. None of their kids had food allergies, so for them to have to think about everything that goes in the mouth is a foreign concept to them. Now, you'd think that the reaction would make an impression but sadly it doesn't and we're left at the same spot...they try to give her cake and icecream...repeatedly. As a result, my ILs are not allowed to be left alone with her. We pack food unless we KNOW what is being provided.

The day I caught them about to give her a huge bite of ice cream I flipped. Later that afternoon they called and asked if they could take DD somewhere...my H was so angry with them he flat out said "no, you just tried to kill her why would we allow that?!?" I wouldn't recommend that approach, since it's a little, well overkill though :eyeroll:

It's such a tough spot to be in
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Old 05-25-2010, 08:25 AM   #13
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

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Originally Posted by staceyroo77 View Post
Excellent idea, IMO!
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Originally Posted by Cristina View Post
What a crappy sitch. I would take the hard line and tell her she is not allowed to feed her anything. At all. Don't leave them alone. When you feel ready to give your Mom a chance, bring your DDs prepacked lunch box and she can only feed her out of that. You'll need to get into the habit of packing her non dairy foods wherever she goes anyway. Poor baby.
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Originally Posted by HaileysMommy View Post
Honestly..if it were me I would tell my mom that she couldn't keep my DD anymore bc she keeps harming her. I couldn't sit by and let my mom or anyone "forget" about my daughters allergies (if she had any). You pack food for her to eat..your mom should feed her that food. It's not that hard to remember to feed her the food you brought.
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Originally Posted by kaimon View Post
I say start with not letting her feed your DD anything. Nothing. No food no drinks. You be there at all times. IF she gets the point do the lunch box thing.

Tell her allergies are serious and if she cant learn to take them seriously then you'll have to do it for her.
Totally agree with all of this & it seemed somewhat redundant to say it again.
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:43 AM   #14
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

My son has a dairy AND soy allergy and it is impossible! He can eat a lot of stuff but he has some texture issues so he tends to be a bit picky about how food is prepared. Anywho my mom and dad really understand allergies as we have lots in the family but my MIL just says oh he is old enough to eat that. It is rather annoying but I just don't back down. If she doesn't get it make her come to the dr or allergist and listen to them. My daughter has not a single allergy but we don't like her having lots of sugar and junk food is off limits but my mom used to take her out to dinner and let her have ice cream etc. It wouldn't seem like a big deal but when she has much sugar she goes NUTS...I didn't ever believe parents when they said their kids went nuts from sugar until my daughter. I don't know what the deal is but anyways back to my point. one night we all went to dinner and my mom gives Gwen loads of ice cream. Well I knew my mom had planned to come over to the house and put Gwen to bed because she has promised Gwen she would do so. So I decide to just sit back and let her eat this whole bowl of ice cream to teach my mom a lesson LOL
We get back to the house and it was almost bed time (we do 7:30 bed) so Gwen comes in the house and goes CRAZY running around singing bouncing of the walls. Then it is time for bed. Well I tell you after an hour and a half of a screaming crazy 3 year old she figured out why I don't let Gwen have sugar and especially in the evening. Needless to say she has NEVER done it again.
Sorry that was long. Point being make her come home or have your daughter stay at her house that night and see how this affects her. No grandma wants their grandbaby in pain they just think they are somehow missing out.
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Old 05-25-2010, 11:18 AM   #15
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

I would go beyond not allowing her to feed her anything, I would stop her from seeing her until she can manage to listen. And then she would only be allowed at my house, until she proves that she will not try to feed her things that will hurt her. You just don't forget that many times she is ether too stupid to learn or she doesn't care.
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Old 05-25-2010, 11:27 AM   #16
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

One positive thing is that the vast majority of kids outgrow milk allergies by age 3. My DD was very allergic and outgrew it at 2 years old. Now she can have any dairy no problem.

In the meantime, just pack her food. If they can't follow that, they can't watch her.
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Old 05-25-2010, 04:57 PM   #17
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

Do you suspect these actions are purposeful? I would be livid and consider it a form of child abuse. Sorry to sound so harsh, but she is repeatedly causing your baby pain despite constant reminders.
I agree with the other suggestions - limit interaction, watch her like a hawk, etc. If she can't comply with the rules, pull the plug on visitation for awhile and see what happens.
Ugh, so sorry you are dealing with this and hugs to your lo, too!
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:00 AM   #18
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

Oh my gosh! I would be so upset. In addition to not letting her feed the child anything for a while (until she remembers!) I would get a signed not from your pedi. Most doctors are happy to do this to help out with situations like these. Our pedi wrote me a not saying not to give dd any formula, lol. (I was having an issue with my MIL purchasing formula and overfeeding the baby after giving her all the pumped milk I sent, and it was making her spit up and cry.)

Then just show her the letter and pack a copy of it with the lunch box.
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Old 05-26-2010, 07:58 PM   #19
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

I would bring a box of approved foods, stay with your dd at all times (don't leave your mom with your dd at all where you can't see what she's doing, even a quick bathroom trip is long enough to feed her) & if it happens again or if she even attempts to feed her something else, I'd just tell her "if you can't keep the dairy away from DD, then we'll have to keep you away from DD"

The more your DD is exposed to something she is allergic to, the allergy can very easily get worse & worse & the reactions worse & worse. Really at this point, if your mom can't stop feeding her, I would keep your dd away from her & stop visits. It's not about opinion or being mean, it's about your dd's health. If your mom is going to continue to do unhealthy things to your dd, knowing very well that it's unhealthy, she needs to stay away from her.

We all have allergies here, many quite severe. As I see it, I wouldn't allow my baby to have someone blow cigarette smoke in his face, I wouldn't allow someone around him offering him beer, why would I allow someone around him offering him something else that I know will harm him?
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Old 05-26-2010, 09:38 PM   #20
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Re: How do I get my mom to stop feeding my daughter dairy!

I couldn't read and not post! I am 30 with a peanut allergy and my father STILL keeps trying to feed me things with peanuts in them! I don't know why but he just doesn't remember. My mom taught me at a young age to read labels, ask questions and know what was safe and what was not. 2 is a little young for that responsibility, but soon she will learn what she can and can't have and will help educate those around her.
Something that another mom (whose daughter has a milk allergy) in one of my mom groups does is she made up stickers for the front and back of her daughters shirt that said - DO NOT FEED ME MILK- mommy approved snacks in diaper bag. I thought that was a neat idea - not sure of the success rate though! Good luck!
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