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Old 08-11-2017, 09:09 PM   #1
Moonbeam123
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5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

I've had enough of it, my 5 yo who is largely toilet trained apart from a few accidents has realised it's funny to wet or mess his pants deliberately, there is no medical problem and he is a normal but sassy child.

It now happens most days and often when out, I've tried the usual punishments etc but to make life easier I've threatened diapers though he thinks it sfunny and probably doesn't think I'm serious.

I have 2 younger ones still in diapers so I have plenty of flats, pins and pants etc and I'm tempted to start using them. I really don't want to but I'm thinking it might be the best thing to do for a while.

Am I overreacting or just plain silly ?

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Old 08-12-2017, 07:28 AM   #2
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

I don't think your either, I would put a diaper on him. Just hope he doesn't end up liking to wear them. That would end up being an issue but as far as proving a point and showing your serious and telling him if he's going to act like a baby he can wear a diaper like a baby then maybe he will stop and not think it's funny any more when he has to wear a diaper in public. That's not fun momma! Hope that helps.


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Old 08-12-2017, 07:44 AM   #3
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

I wouldnt put him in a diaper since the message your sending is that its ok to have accidents. Also shaming is more harmful than productive.

Instead go back to the early days of potty learning. Try to find out exactly why he is having accidents. If he is doing it because he doesnt want to stop, make him go. Remember that you are the parent. If hes strictly doing it out of spite then still make him go to the bathroom every 30 min to an hour. if he has an accident make him clean it up. And the hardest thing, ignore it. Making it a battle will only make it worse.

Its frustrating I know momma. My soon to be 6yr old still has accidents every now and then when he doesnt want to stop doing whatever. Hang in there and know that it wont last forever.
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Old 08-12-2017, 08:08 AM   #4
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

Quote:
Originally Posted by andunc02 View Post
I wouldnt put him in a diaper since the message your sending is that its ok to have accidents. Also shaming is more harmful than productive.

Instead go back to the early days of potty learning. Try to find out exactly why he is having accidents. If he is doing it because he doesnt want to stop, make him go. Remember that you are the parent. If hes strictly doing it out of spite then still make him go to the bathroom every 30 min to an hour. if he has an accident make him clean it up. And the hardest thing, ignore it. Making it a battle will only make it worse.

Its frustrating I know momma. My soon to be 6yr old still has accidents every now and then when he doesnt want to stop doing whatever. Hang in there and know that it wont last forever.
I agree with this.

A couple more thoughts....I would be sort of concerned at a five year old being 'largely potty trained' instead of just potty trained. That is of course assuming there is not medical issues or anything. An accident should be an extremely rare exception at that point, IMO, like if you had to wait in line for the bathroom for ages or something.

I would make him clean it up. I would also make him take care of his messed-in laundry. Not in a shame-on-you-that-is-horrible kind of way: just you did X, you will do Y to take care of it. Matter of fact.

Because he may be doing this for attention, I would make sure to spend plenty of positive time with him. I know that can be hard when you are frustrated over something like this, but it may be exactly what he needs and will fix the problem.

Important to keep in mind--often when children this age start having daytime accidents, there is some sort of trauma that's happened. Physical or sexual abuse, something emotionally traumatic, like loss of a love one or parents divorcing. I'm guessing you don't think this is the case since you said he thinks it is funny, so he's probably after your reaction/attention. But please be sure to rule out whether or not something else is causing this, and I would also take him in to be checked for a UTI.
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Old 08-12-2017, 09:32 AM   #5
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

Thanks, he's just being lazy and awkward so I'm not worried about any deeper issues.

I can see the reluctance to diaper him but it would make things a lot less stressful for a while and wouldn't be for long - I hope !

It's difficult to know what to do :-(
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Old 08-12-2017, 08:58 PM   #6
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I would try to speak with him or if your dh is good with him have him do a man to. Man talk with him. Then if that doesn't work therapy is good.
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Old 08-14-2017, 12:02 PM   #7
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

At 5 he definitely shouldn't be diapered. Sounds like he is acting out for some reason. what could he be so upset about?
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Old 08-14-2017, 12:45 PM   #8
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

I feel a bit of a bad mom but he's back in a diaper for a while :-(

It's not ideal but a lot less stressful and less washing for me.
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Old 08-14-2017, 01:01 PM   #9
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

I guess I was just thinking to show him hey "if you pee your pants you get a diaper" in hopes of him being like I don't want that! And not peeing on himself anymore. But every moms choices are different and I haven't been in that situation so I'm not judging.


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Old 08-14-2017, 01:08 PM   #10
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Re: 5 yr old deliberately wetting himself

I have a child who really struggled with this - not because he thought it was funny but because of some health issues he had become bathroom-avoidant and just stopped paying attention to his body's signals. It was SO hard! We were tempted to put him back in diapers but he WANTED the diapers so that didn't work for him. It can be really hard to know what to do, and will probably involve some (lots of) trial and error. But you will figure it out. Good luck, mama!
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