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Old 05-31-2010, 01:26 PM   #1
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How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

I'm really sick of chinese plastic junk in our house. I DO NOT want any more of it. my daughter's 1st and 3rd birthday are still ages away, but I'm already thinking of all the crap we're going to get, which I don't want.

I was wondering, how would you go about asking for gifts that aren't plastic. I was planning on maybe writing on the invitation 'no gifts necessary, but home-made or second hand items would be appreciated'. Since I know nobody ever listens to 'no gifts necessary' and many will still feel like they need to bring something. Is this tacky though?

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Old 05-31-2010, 01:44 PM   #2
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

no! and neither would putting a polite explanation about your desire to have handmade and/or second hand gifts!
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Old 05-31-2010, 03:04 PM   #3
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

It's your party/your kid's birthday, I think you should put whatever you want on the invites if you don't want plastic junk
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Old 05-31-2010, 03:14 PM   #4
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

I am going to go against the norm and say that yes it is a little bit tacky. That is certainly no offense to you, because I wish I could put that on invites too! Etiquette says you cannot tell people what gifts to buy you, except in the case of gift registries for showers and weddings.

One way you can get around it is to have a theme birthday. Send an invitation with littlest petshop on it, and you are bound to get a million LPS toys. You can turn that into your favor by doing a book party. A friend of mine did this for her daughters 1st birthday (since she really didn't need clothes or toys), and it turned out wonderful. The grandparents and closer family members still found it necessary to give toys, but were polite enough to not do it at the party. I cant remember how she worded the invite, but it said something like “Help us fill her bookshelves, and bring your favorite childhood book. We are also doing a book drive for XXX Womens and Childrens Shelter. You are welcome to participate if you would like.“ She worded it much better than that, but you get the idea.
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Old 05-31-2010, 03:15 PM   #5
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

Manners wise it is considered rude to add that type of note to an invite sadly. BUT you can do a book theme party which would probably lead to more book gifts and less plastic junk. You also can let people close to you know that you are saving up for a really big item which might also lead to cash or GC's for that one item. I know I am telling everyone we want a Learning Tower and while no one can afford it straight out I know that we should be able to get part of it from several people, and less junk!

Good luck, I wish it was easier myself.
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Old 05-31-2010, 03:25 PM   #6
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

screw manners lay it out there! I don't blame you one bit and am sick of people supporting all that plastic crap not even made in the US most of it. it's your kid, your hosue, be appreciative but just find a tasteful way of saying it or just say it
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Old 05-31-2010, 03:26 PM   #7
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

I like the book party idea! I was thinking there may also be some way to integrate a DIY theme into the party, or something, thus encouraging people to bring homemade stuff, but a book party is 100x better and simpler.
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Old 05-31-2010, 04:00 PM   #8
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kanga View Post
I am going to go against the norm and say that yes it is a little bit tacky. That is certainly no offense to you, because I wish I could put that on invites too! Etiquette says you cannot tell people what gifts to buy you, except in the case of gift registries for showers and weddings.

One way you can get around it is to have a theme birthday. Send an invitation with littlest petshop on it, and you are bound to get a million LPS toys. You can turn that into your favor by doing a book party. A friend of mine did this for her daughters 1st birthday (since she really didn't need clothes or toys), and it turned out wonderful. The grandparents and closer family members still found it necessary to give toys, but were polite enough to not do it at the party. I cant remember how she worded the invite, but it said something like “Help us fill her bookshelves, and bring your favorite childhood book. We are also doing a book drive for XXX Womens and Childrens Shelter. You are welcome to participate if you would like.“ She worded it much better than that, but you get the idea.


I agree with this. Make it a theme party to whatever YOU want, then you can most likely get those things. Of course some people won't listen no matter what...
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Old 05-31-2010, 04:11 PM   #9
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kanga View Post
I am going to go against the norm and say that yes it is a little bit tacky. That is certainly no offense to you, because I wish I could put that on invites too! Etiquette says you cannot tell people what gifts to buy you, except in the case of gift registries for showers and weddings.

One way you can get around it is to have a theme birthday. Send an invitation with littlest petshop on it, and you are bound to get a million LPS toys. You can turn that into your favor by doing a book party. A friend of mine did this for her daughters 1st birthday (since she really didn't need clothes or toys), and it turned out wonderful. The grandparents and closer family members still found it necessary to give toys, but were polite enough to not do it at the party. I cant remember how she worded the invite, but it said something like “Help us fill her bookshelves, and bring your favorite childhood book. We are also doing a book drive for XXX Womens and Childrens Shelter. You are welcome to participate if you would like.“ She worded it much better than that, but you get the idea.
This is a great idea. It is rude to specify a certain type of toy or set gift giving limits. But it is not rude to have a theme party. You could have a wooden toy theme party or a book theme party or a play dough party or whatever. That is a great idea and it would probably work.

Or you could just donate the plastic crap to the christmas kids toy drive come december.
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Old 05-31-2010, 04:20 PM   #10
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Re: How to ask for second hand/homemade birthday gifts

Yeah my feeling was that it was rude, and I also don't want to come across as 'holier-than-thou' to anybody. So just going to try and think of a creative way of doing it... thanks for all the suggestions, keep em coming! I'm thinking maybe we could do trains or something, my DD has a wooden train set and I'd love to build on it! That way if people ask they will probably ask my mom or sisters who will suggest to buy accessories/ add-ons. Sneaky! Going to have to put more thought into it...

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Originally Posted by delphinium View Post
Or you could just donate the plastic crap to the christmas kids toy drive come december.
Hehe... this is what we'll be doing this december... I just don't want to clear it all only to wind up with a bunch more in January!

My family (sisters and parents and hubbies) are also sick of 'made in china' so we all do home-made christmas now (only handmade gifts, except the guys sometimes cheat and buy things like movie gift cards!) and it is GREAT! Everybody is so creative and you get such unique, thoughtful and useful gifts. I just wish everybody was more inclined to our way of thinking. Of course there are some things I can tolerate because they're educational and well-made or classic toys (eg mr potato-head, lego).
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